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Alexis Buhrman

Goals, Inspiration
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December 15, 2021

4 Reasons to Know Your Why Before You Pick New Year’s Resolutions

Why should you know your WHY before you pick New Year’s Resolutions? Did you know that 80% of people who commit to resolutions and goals have given up by the middle of February? That’s a huge number! Who would bet on those odds?

Yet year after year, Americans spend a small fortune in the hopes that THIS year will be different. This year those goals will finally be realized.

That tells me two things:

  1. A lot of people truly care about changing their lives for the better.
  2. With such a high failure rate, WE can’t be doing it wrong. The WAY we’re doing it is must be flawed.

When January rolls around each year, we’re told to focus on our resolutions. We pick them because we believe that if we achieve our goals, we’ll feel differently than we do now. We’ll be happier.

But let me ask you a question.

Is everyone who achieves their goals happy?

No! Of course not.

I think the problem is that we don’t always know how to choose the right goals.

When it comes to New Year’s Resolutions, we start with a GOAL in mind.

We should be starting with the vision for the life we want to create, and WHY we want to create it before we ever even think about our goals.

White woman smiles, sitting on the couch with a cup of tea reading her Why in her journal

Our WHY is the reason behind our actions. Without getting clear on our WHY on a deep level, there’s no motivation behind the work it takes to achieve our goals.

Without a WHY, Netflix and the couch look SO much better than staying up late to finish the class, eating more vegetables or getting a good night’s rest.

Here are 4 reasons to know your WHY before you pick your new year’s resolutions:

1. You’ll choose better goals.

Let’s look at weight loss as an example because it’s one of the top goals on most people’s New Year’s Resolutions lists.

Gyms and personal trainers see sales skyrocket in January because people want to lose weight.

Most people aim to lose a lot of weight in a short period of time with extreme diet plans and exercise.

I’ve watched friends put everything in life on hold to focus exclusively on losing weight, only to hit their goal then gain it all back and go through a rollercoaster of emotions along the way.

Why would we choose this goal?

It might be to “look better” because our culture idolizes and rewards thinness, right?

It’s more likely because we feel that once we achieve it, we’ll feel differently than we do now.

But if you want to FEEL a certain way, will this goal get you there?

Will the rollercoaster of deprivation, stress, success, then failure make a person feel better?

I don’t think so.

What if, instead of choosing a goal, we focused on our WHY first?

What if, on a deeper level, the WHY wasn’t about losing weight, but improving health to be around for our kids as long as we can?

Or to have enough physical energy to travel with our spouse or our friends?

Or because we feel sore when we wake up and we want to feel better in our bodies?

When we lead with our WHY, we tend to pick better goals. The kind of goals we can, and actually WANT, to stick to.

With a WHY of health, energy and vitality, wouldn’t we ditch the extreme diets and focus on long-term changes that would improve our health. And know it’s working when we feel the way we want to feel?

Not a number on a scale. A FEELING.

When you know your WHY, you pick better goals.

2. You’ll make decisions with intention.

How many times have you found yourself struggling to make a decision?

Go for the promotion or stay in the current role? Keep the job or start the business? Go back to school or put it off for “someday?” Stay or leave the relationship?

When you know your WHY, you know the reason behind your decisions.

When you find yourself at a crossroads and aren’t sure what decision to make, your WHY will help you find the answer. It’s no longer a matter of this vs. that or making the wrong choice, but asking yourself “Does this decision align with my WHY?”

If it doesn’t? Your WHY just made the decision for you.

3. You’ll have a reason to stay motivated.

Why do we lose motivation? Lots of reasons. We pick a resolution and hit the ground running with the best of intentions. Then the kids get sick. We have a special project at work. We get busy and we get tired and let’s be real, the couch and a glass of wine start to look very damn good.

When we know our WHY and have a deep emotional connection to it, it’s easier to get up early to work on our business before our family is up, rather than sleeping in. Our goals feel like a gift rather than a chore because we’ve chosen them for a reason.

Your WHY will help you stay motivated.

4. You’ll know what to prioritize.

If you know your WHY before you pick New Year’s Resolutions, you’ll be able to prioritize your time when life gets busy.

When we focus on too many goals or resolutions at once – like eating healthy, going back to school, dating, and starting a side business, we decrease our chance of success because we’re not laser focused on finishing one thing. We’re all over the place.

Some goals are the right goals, but not the “right now” goals.

Your WHY will help you choose what to work toward first, and when you’ve achieved that milestone, you can work toward something else.

When you know your WHY before you pick your New Year’s Resolutions, you’re setting yourself up for success.

Those were the 4 Reasons to Know Your WHY Before You Pick Your New Year’s Resolutions. I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments!

Ready to approach your resolutions and goals in a new, feel-good way? I can help with that! Check out my uh-mazing, affordable, online vision and goal-setting course, The 48-Hour Planning Retreat™.

Check out these other New Year’s Resolution posts:

Too Pandemic Fried for New Year’s Resolutions?

3 Reasons New Year’s Resolutions Don’t Work

TAGS:Goal-settingLife Coaching TipsNew Year's ResolutionsVision
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Alexis Buhrman

I help professional women bring more purpose, peace and pleasure into their lives, without sacrificing one for the other, to create a main character life. I teach my clients a strategy to work toward their business, professional, and personal goals in a sustainable, feel-good way, with more confidence, ease, joy, fun, and pleasure.

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  • Let’s End this Painful New Year’s Resolution Cycle
  • What are you saying “YES” to?
  • Achieving Goals Does Not Guarantee Happiness
  • Too Pandemic-Fried for New Year’s Resolutions? Do this instead.
  • 3 Reasons New Year’s Resolutions Don’t Work.

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What’s your pain threshold on a scale of 1-10?

When I was home last month, I saw many of my oldest friends.
 
We talked about real-life stuff. Stuff we've struggled with, or are currently working through.
 
From alcoholism to smoking, stress eating to relationship struggles, everything was on the table.
 
What we all have in common is that we all have our own sabotages and ways of coping with life.
 
What we don't have in common is the exact timeline for when we are willing and/or able to change them.
 
People have different pain thresholds.
 
Some people can tolerate lots of pain. They can suffer in unhappiness for years. Think of people you know who've been in miserable marriages for decades.
 
Some people, like myself, tolerate little. My threshold is low. Not because I can't handle pain, but because I want to address issues before they become a big deal and I revert back to old Alexis and deal with my shit with a pack of Virginia Slim Light 120s and a bottle of Hendricks...
 
If you are tolerating things in your life that you want to change, here are some questions you can ask yourself:
 
1. Where do you rate your pain threshold on a 1-10, 1 being low tolerance and ten being highest?
 
2. Would that rating be the same if you were in the same place a year from now?
 
3. For how long, or under what circumstances are you willing to tolerate this issue?
 
4. What do you gain out of staying in the current situation?
 
5. And lastly, what number do you think you'd need to be at to finally be driven to make a change?
 
For me, it's a 2-3, max. It depends on the situation and its pros and cons.

For example, I'm tolerating that I can't have any damn plants in my house because I have cats that are complete assholes. But, I love these assholes, so a plantless life is something I am willing to tolerate...begrudgingly...
 
You may be tolerating something, but there are some reasons that make it work for you, too. Until you decide it doesn't anymore.
 
If you're below a five on the threshold scale and want to talk about what a change might look like and how I could help you, let’s talk.
 
Whatever your thoughts or fears, change is possible, and I am here for you.
•
Follow
What’s your pain threshold on a scale of 1-10? When I was home last month, I saw many of my oldest friends. We talked about real-life stuff. Stuff we've struggled with, or are currently working through. From alcoholism to smoking, stress eating to relationship struggles, everything was on the table. What we all have in common is that we all have our own sabotages and ways of coping with life. What we don't have in common is the exact timeline for when we are willing and/or able to change them. People have different pain thresholds. Some people can tolerate lots of pain. They can suffer in unhappiness for years. Think of people you know who've been in miserable marriages for decades. Some people, like myself, tolerate little. My threshold is low. Not because I can't handle pain, but because I want to address issues before they become a big deal and I revert back to old Alexis and deal with my shit with a pack of Virginia Slim Light 120s and a bottle of Hendricks... If you are tolerating things in your life that you want to change, here are some questions you can ask yourself: 1. Where do you rate your pain threshold on a 1-10, 1 being low tolerance and ten being highest? 2. Would that rating be the same if you were in the same place a year from now? 3. For how long, or under what circumstances are you willing to tolerate this issue? 4. What do you gain out of staying in the current situation? 5. And lastly, what number do you think you'd need to be at to finally be driven to make a change? For me, it's a 2-3, max. It depends on the situation and its pros and cons. For example, I'm tolerating that I can't have any damn plants in my house because I have cats that are complete assholes. But, I love these assholes, so a plantless life is something I am willing to tolerate...begrudgingly... You may be tolerating something, but there are some reasons that make it work for you, too. Until you decide it doesn't anymore. If you're below a five on the threshold scale and want to talk about what a change might look like and how I could help you, let’s talk. Whatever your thoughts or fears, change is possible, and I am here for you.
9 months ago
View on Instagram |
1/4
The first six months of the year are officially over. WHAT?! WHERE?! HOW?! 🤣

Maybe you started 2022 with goals for the year and you're making progress. Awesome! Maybe you're feeling behind.

Maybe you didn’t give a damn about goals because, you know, America is basically on fire…

You know me. I'm all about evaluating things in a non-judgmental, curious way: what's working, what isn't, and what am I going to do about it.

If you feel like evaluating where you're at today, now could be a great time to get started.

If you haven't made the progress you hoped for at the start of the year, this could be a great opportunity to get curious about why, so you can start making shifts and changes.

If 2022 hasn't been what you hoped, that's okay. Let's focus on today and what is possible moving forward.

Where would you like to be on New Year's Eve six months from now?

Who do you hope to be?

How do you want to feel?

What do you hope would be different between then and now?

If you are ready to take action and need support, I would love to work with you.

In April, I launched a beta run for my new program. Participants spent two days with me in a virtual retreat, getting crystal clear on the life they wanted to create and their goals, LIVE in my online course, The 48-Hour Planning Retreat™.

I took feedback, refined the process, and expanded the program to provide more support, and now I'm relaunching it – my beta 2.0.

❌  If you feel stuck and you're not getting the outcomes you want, this program may be right for you.

❌  If you missed the last round and don't want to miss out this time, this program may be right for you.

❌  If you have been trying to make changes, but they're not working, and you need to shake things up and try something different, this program may be right for you.

Enrollment and space are limited because of the intimacy and personalization of the program. I have spots open now through September.

Interested in learning more? DM me or Comment “BETA” and I’ll send you an outline of what you get, and if you’re still interested, a link to book a no-pressure discovery call.

I would be honored to work with you through the rest of this year!
•
Follow
The first six months of the year are officially over. WHAT?! WHERE?! HOW?! 🤣 Maybe you started 2022 with goals for the year and you're making progress. Awesome! Maybe you're feeling behind. Maybe you didn’t give a damn about goals because, you know, America is basically on fire… You know me. I'm all about evaluating things in a non-judgmental, curious way: what's working, what isn't, and what am I going to do about it. If you feel like evaluating where you're at today, now could be a great time to get started. If you haven't made the progress you hoped for at the start of the year, this could be a great opportunity to get curious about why, so you can start making shifts and changes. If 2022 hasn't been what you hoped, that's okay. Let's focus on today and what is possible moving forward. Where would you like to be on New Year's Eve six months from now? Who do you hope to be? How do you want to feel? What do you hope would be different between then and now? If you are ready to take action and need support, I would love to work with you. In April, I launched a beta run for my new program. Participants spent two days with me in a virtual retreat, getting crystal clear on the life they wanted to create and their goals, LIVE in my online course, The 48-Hour Planning Retreat™. I took feedback, refined the process, and expanded the program to provide more support, and now I'm relaunching it – my beta 2.0. ❌ If you feel stuck and you're not getting the outcomes you want, this program may be right for you. ❌ If you missed the last round and don't want to miss out this time, this program may be right for you. ❌ If you have been trying to make changes, but they're not working, and you need to shake things up and try something different, this program may be right for you. Enrollment and space are limited because of the intimacy and personalization of the program. I have spots open now through September. Interested in learning more? DM me or Comment “BETA” and I’ll send you an outline of what you get, and if you’re still interested, a link to book a no-pressure discovery call. I would be honored to work with you through the rest of this year!
9 months ago
View on Instagram |
2/4
Jim Hopper is my boyfriend. 😘⁠
⁠
I love Stranger Things. I counted down the days to the season 4 drop, and it did not disappoint. The soundtrack was fantastic. The acting and writing were stellar.⁠
⁠
And then there was Jim Hopper.⁠
⁠
Friend, I have a mad crush on David Harbour. If Alexis has a "type," it's his role as Jim Hopper.⁠
⁠
✅ Amazing dance moves⁠
✅ 6’3” with a haaaaawwwwwtttt dad bod + cop uniform⁠
✅ Looking like a SNACK⁠
✅ Saves the damn day⁠
⁠
Hopper is the stuff my fantasies are made of. 🤣⁠
⁠
Without giving away spoilers, Hopper goes through several transformations/evolutions throughout the show.⁠
⁠
We see his backstory and how he copes with life.⁠
⁠
My therapist calls coping mechanisms "pressure valves," and I think it's a great way to describe how people cope with stress - with understanding and without judgment.⁠
⁠
Had a hard day? Pull on your personal brand of pressure valve = release pressure.⁠
⁠
For some, that's alcohol. For others, it’s online shopping, porn, gambling, or numbing out.⁠
⁠
For me, it used to be smoking.⁠
⁠
It's how I dealt with stress and trauma before I had other resources. Even as an adult, it was my go-to pressure valve.⁠
⁠
I'm talking to people right now about how they are dealing with the layers of compounding trauma from the last few years. If you’re in the U.S., it feels like there is a crisis almost daily these days.⁠
⁠
We aren't meant to deal with chronic stress, so we look for ways to cope and release the pressure of life.⁠
⁠
Everyone has a different pressure valve.⁠
⁠
Like my boyfriend, Jim Hopper, we can get through hard times.⁠
⁠
We can find ways to release the pressures that are helpful, not harmful.⁠
⁠
Wherever you are right now, and however you're coping with life, I see you.⁠
⁠
If you're over-drinking, hiding boxes of online orders from your spouse, or numbing out on social media, I accept you without judgment.⁠
⁠
And, as always, I'm here for you.⁠
⁠
Sending you high-fives and 80s vibes, ⁠
⁠
Alexis
•
Follow
Jim Hopper is my boyfriend. 😘⁠ ⁠ I love Stranger Things. I counted down the days to the season 4 drop, and it did not disappoint. The soundtrack was fantastic. The acting and writing were stellar.⁠ ⁠ And then there was Jim Hopper.⁠ ⁠ Friend, I have a mad crush on David Harbour. If Alexis has a "type," it's his role as Jim Hopper.⁠ ⁠ ✅ Amazing dance moves⁠ ✅ 6’3” with a haaaaawwwwwtttt dad bod + cop uniform⁠ ✅ Looking like a SNACK⁠ ✅ Saves the damn day⁠ ⁠ Hopper is the stuff my fantasies are made of. 🤣⁠ ⁠ Without giving away spoilers, Hopper goes through several transformations/evolutions throughout the show.⁠ ⁠ We see his backstory and how he copes with life.⁠ ⁠ My therapist calls coping mechanisms "pressure valves," and I think it's a great way to describe how people cope with stress - with understanding and without judgment.⁠ ⁠ Had a hard day? Pull on your personal brand of pressure valve = release pressure.⁠ ⁠ For some, that's alcohol. For others, it’s online shopping, porn, gambling, or numbing out.⁠ ⁠ For me, it used to be smoking.⁠ ⁠ It's how I dealt with stress and trauma before I had other resources. Even as an adult, it was my go-to pressure valve.⁠ ⁠ I'm talking to people right now about how they are dealing with the layers of compounding trauma from the last few years. If you’re in the U.S., it feels like there is a crisis almost daily these days.⁠ ⁠ We aren't meant to deal with chronic stress, so we look for ways to cope and release the pressure of life.⁠ ⁠ Everyone has a different pressure valve.⁠ ⁠ Like my boyfriend, Jim Hopper, we can get through hard times.⁠ ⁠ We can find ways to release the pressures that are helpful, not harmful.⁠ ⁠ Wherever you are right now, and however you're coping with life, I see you.⁠ ⁠ If you're over-drinking, hiding boxes of online orders from your spouse, or numbing out on social media, I accept you without judgment.⁠ ⁠ And, as always, I'm here for you.⁠ ⁠ Sending you high-fives and 80s vibes, ⁠ ⁠ Alexis
9 months ago
View on Instagram |
3/4
If you don't want to read about "lady business" and cat buttholes, keep scrolling. 🤣⁠
⁠
I have THE WORST cramps. I always have. For two days, I'm destroyed.⁠
⁠
Eric knows the drill...that THIS IS NOT A DRILL!⁠
⁠
☑️ All cats on deck!⁠
⁠
☑️ Electric hot pad at all times!⁠
⁠
☑️ Blankets!⁠
⁠
☑️ Totino's pizza!⁠
⁠
☑️ Box of tissue because I will cry for two days at literally anything. If a squirrel is playing in the front yard or we're out of Totino's pizza. TEARS! ⁠
⁠
When I worked in advertising, it was rough. It's hard to find a gap to take 2-3 days off for vacation. Certainly not every month.⁠
⁠
While I love that more and more amazing companies are providing unlimited menstrual leave, it's not a standard. But that's a rant for another day… ⁠
⁠
Taking off these couple of days every month is one of the most significant benefits of starting my own business.⁠
⁠
Other unexpected benefits are having time to see family and friends more than 1-2x a year and sleeping as long as I need.⁠
⁠
I don't have to commute. I set my schedule to start later in the morning. If I need to, I can sleep a little later.⁠
⁠
I know this is a privilege since I don't have kids. Still, it was a benefit I purposefully identified as something I wanted when I left advertising, after more than a decade of terrible insomnia. ⁠
⁠
These benefits might not be what comes to mind when you imagine what "living your best life" looks like. They don't make for insta-worthy photos!⁠
⁠
But I think these little benefits make my life richer and give me more energy for those insta-worthy goals.⁠
⁠
Traveling is great, but IDK…sleeping in with Eric and morning snuggles are pretty great, too. (And then, of course, the cats because the SECOND I wake up, their radars go off, and there they are, on the bed, butts up in my face.)⁠
⁠
Literally over here, just waking up to three cat buttholes, living my best damn life!⁠
⁠
Buttholes aside, what are some simple benefits you could enjoy in your life if you said yes to something you want?⁠
⁠
If you feel like sharing, let me know in the comments. 👇🏻⁠
⁠
Sending you high-fives, snuggle vibes, and thanks if you stayed for all the lady business and cat butthole content!
•
Follow
If you don't want to read about "lady business" and cat buttholes, keep scrolling. 🤣⁠ ⁠ I have THE WORST cramps. I always have. For two days, I'm destroyed.⁠ ⁠ Eric knows the drill...that THIS IS NOT A DRILL!⁠ ⁠ ☑️ All cats on deck!⁠ ⁠ ☑️ Electric hot pad at all times!⁠ ⁠ ☑️ Blankets!⁠ ⁠ ☑️ Totino's pizza!⁠ ⁠ ☑️ Box of tissue because I will cry for two days at literally anything. If a squirrel is playing in the front yard or we're out of Totino's pizza. TEARS! ⁠ ⁠ When I worked in advertising, it was rough. It's hard to find a gap to take 2-3 days off for vacation. Certainly not every month.⁠ ⁠ While I love that more and more amazing companies are providing unlimited menstrual leave, it's not a standard. But that's a rant for another day… ⁠ ⁠ Taking off these couple of days every month is one of the most significant benefits of starting my own business.⁠ ⁠ Other unexpected benefits are having time to see family and friends more than 1-2x a year and sleeping as long as I need.⁠ ⁠ I don't have to commute. I set my schedule to start later in the morning. If I need to, I can sleep a little later.⁠ ⁠ I know this is a privilege since I don't have kids. Still, it was a benefit I purposefully identified as something I wanted when I left advertising, after more than a decade of terrible insomnia. ⁠ ⁠ These benefits might not be what comes to mind when you imagine what "living your best life" looks like. They don't make for insta-worthy photos!⁠ ⁠ But I think these little benefits make my life richer and give me more energy for those insta-worthy goals.⁠ ⁠ Traveling is great, but IDK…sleeping in with Eric and morning snuggles are pretty great, too. (And then, of course, the cats because the SECOND I wake up, their radars go off, and there they are, on the bed, butts up in my face.)⁠ ⁠ Literally over here, just waking up to three cat buttholes, living my best damn life!⁠ ⁠ Buttholes aside, what are some simple benefits you could enjoy in your life if you said yes to something you want?⁠ ⁠ If you feel like sharing, let me know in the comments. 👇🏻⁠ ⁠ Sending you high-fives, snuggle vibes, and thanks if you stayed for all the lady business and cat butthole content!
10 months ago
View on Instagram |
4/4

Categories

  • Goals
  • Inspiration
  • Life Coaching
  • Motivation
  • Uncategorized

@alexisbcoaching

What’s your pain threshold on a scale of 1-10?

When I was home last month, I saw many of my oldest friends.
 
We talked about real-life stuff. Stuff we've struggled with, or are currently working through.
 
From alcoholism to smoking, stress eating to relationship struggles, everything was on the table.
 
What we all have in common is that we all have our own sabotages and ways of coping with life.
 
What we don't have in common is the exact timeline for when we are willing and/or able to change them.
 
People have different pain thresholds.
 
Some people can tolerate lots of pain. They can suffer in unhappiness for years. Think of people you know who've been in miserable marriages for decades.
 
Some people, like myself, tolerate little. My threshold is low. Not because I can't handle pain, but because I want to address issues before they become a big deal and I revert back to old Alexis and deal with my shit with a pack of Virginia Slim Light 120s and a bottle of Hendricks...
 
If you are tolerating things in your life that you want to change, here are some questions you can ask yourself:
 
1. Where do you rate your pain threshold on a 1-10, 1 being low tolerance and ten being highest?
 
2. Would that rating be the same if you were in the same place a year from now?
 
3. For how long, or under what circumstances are you willing to tolerate this issue?
 
4. What do you gain out of staying in the current situation?
 
5. And lastly, what number do you think you'd need to be at to finally be driven to make a change?
 
For me, it's a 2-3, max. It depends on the situation and its pros and cons.

For example, I'm tolerating that I can't have any damn plants in my house because I have cats that are complete assholes. But, I love these assholes, so a plantless life is something I am willing to tolerate...begrudgingly...
 
You may be tolerating something, but there are some reasons that make it work for you, too. Until you decide it doesn't anymore.
 
If you're below a five on the threshold scale and want to talk about what a change might look like and how I could help you, let’s talk.
 
Whatever your thoughts or fears, change is possible, and I am here for you.
•
Follow
What’s your pain threshold on a scale of 1-10? When I was home last month, I saw many of my oldest friends. We talked about real-life stuff. Stuff we've struggled with, or are currently working through. From alcoholism to smoking, stress eating to relationship struggles, everything was on the table. What we all have in common is that we all have our own sabotages and ways of coping with life. What we don't have in common is the exact timeline for when we are willing and/or able to change them. People have different pain thresholds. Some people can tolerate lots of pain. They can suffer in unhappiness for years. Think of people you know who've been in miserable marriages for decades. Some people, like myself, tolerate little. My threshold is low. Not because I can't handle pain, but because I want to address issues before they become a big deal and I revert back to old Alexis and deal with my shit with a pack of Virginia Slim Light 120s and a bottle of Hendricks... If you are tolerating things in your life that you want to change, here are some questions you can ask yourself: 1. Where do you rate your pain threshold on a 1-10, 1 being low tolerance and ten being highest? 2. Would that rating be the same if you were in the same place a year from now? 3. For how long, or under what circumstances are you willing to tolerate this issue? 4. What do you gain out of staying in the current situation? 5. And lastly, what number do you think you'd need to be at to finally be driven to make a change? For me, it's a 2-3, max. It depends on the situation and its pros and cons. For example, I'm tolerating that I can't have any damn plants in my house because I have cats that are complete assholes. But, I love these assholes, so a plantless life is something I am willing to tolerate...begrudgingly... You may be tolerating something, but there are some reasons that make it work for you, too. Until you decide it doesn't anymore. If you're below a five on the threshold scale and want to talk about what a change might look like and how I could help you, let’s talk. Whatever your thoughts or fears, change is possible, and I am here for you.
9 months ago
View on Instagram |
1/6
The first six months of the year are officially over. WHAT?! WHERE?! HOW?! 🤣

Maybe you started 2022 with goals for the year and you're making progress. Awesome! Maybe you're feeling behind.

Maybe you didn’t give a damn about goals because, you know, America is basically on fire…

You know me. I'm all about evaluating things in a non-judgmental, curious way: what's working, what isn't, and what am I going to do about it.

If you feel like evaluating where you're at today, now could be a great time to get started.

If you haven't made the progress you hoped for at the start of the year, this could be a great opportunity to get curious about why, so you can start making shifts and changes.

If 2022 hasn't been what you hoped, that's okay. Let's focus on today and what is possible moving forward.

Where would you like to be on New Year's Eve six months from now?

Who do you hope to be?

How do you want to feel?

What do you hope would be different between then and now?

If you are ready to take action and need support, I would love to work with you.

In April, I launched a beta run for my new program. Participants spent two days with me in a virtual retreat, getting crystal clear on the life they wanted to create and their goals, LIVE in my online course, The 48-Hour Planning Retreat™.

I took feedback, refined the process, and expanded the program to provide more support, and now I'm relaunching it – my beta 2.0.

❌  If you feel stuck and you're not getting the outcomes you want, this program may be right for you.

❌  If you missed the last round and don't want to miss out this time, this program may be right for you.

❌  If you have been trying to make changes, but they're not working, and you need to shake things up and try something different, this program may be right for you.

Enrollment and space are limited because of the intimacy and personalization of the program. I have spots open now through September.

Interested in learning more? DM me or Comment “BETA” and I’ll send you an outline of what you get, and if you’re still interested, a link to book a no-pressure discovery call.

I would be honored to work with you through the rest of this year!
•
Follow
The first six months of the year are officially over. WHAT?! WHERE?! HOW?! 🤣 Maybe you started 2022 with goals for the year and you're making progress. Awesome! Maybe you're feeling behind. Maybe you didn’t give a damn about goals because, you know, America is basically on fire… You know me. I'm all about evaluating things in a non-judgmental, curious way: what's working, what isn't, and what am I going to do about it. If you feel like evaluating where you're at today, now could be a great time to get started. If you haven't made the progress you hoped for at the start of the year, this could be a great opportunity to get curious about why, so you can start making shifts and changes. If 2022 hasn't been what you hoped, that's okay. Let's focus on today and what is possible moving forward. Where would you like to be on New Year's Eve six months from now? Who do you hope to be? How do you want to feel? What do you hope would be different between then and now? If you are ready to take action and need support, I would love to work with you. In April, I launched a beta run for my new program. Participants spent two days with me in a virtual retreat, getting crystal clear on the life they wanted to create and their goals, LIVE in my online course, The 48-Hour Planning Retreat™. I took feedback, refined the process, and expanded the program to provide more support, and now I'm relaunching it – my beta 2.0. ❌ If you feel stuck and you're not getting the outcomes you want, this program may be right for you. ❌ If you missed the last round and don't want to miss out this time, this program may be right for you. ❌ If you have been trying to make changes, but they're not working, and you need to shake things up and try something different, this program may be right for you. Enrollment and space are limited because of the intimacy and personalization of the program. I have spots open now through September. Interested in learning more? DM me or Comment “BETA” and I’ll send you an outline of what you get, and if you’re still interested, a link to book a no-pressure discovery call. I would be honored to work with you through the rest of this year!
9 months ago
View on Instagram |
2/6
Jim Hopper is my boyfriend. 😘⁠
⁠
I love Stranger Things. I counted down the days to the season 4 drop, and it did not disappoint. The soundtrack was fantastic. The acting and writing were stellar.⁠
⁠
And then there was Jim Hopper.⁠
⁠
Friend, I have a mad crush on David Harbour. If Alexis has a "type," it's his role as Jim Hopper.⁠
⁠
✅ Amazing dance moves⁠
✅ 6’3” with a haaaaawwwwwtttt dad bod + cop uniform⁠
✅ Looking like a SNACK⁠
✅ Saves the damn day⁠
⁠
Hopper is the stuff my fantasies are made of. 🤣⁠
⁠
Without giving away spoilers, Hopper goes through several transformations/evolutions throughout the show.⁠
⁠
We see his backstory and how he copes with life.⁠
⁠
My therapist calls coping mechanisms "pressure valves," and I think it's a great way to describe how people cope with stress - with understanding and without judgment.⁠
⁠
Had a hard day? Pull on your personal brand of pressure valve = release pressure.⁠
⁠
For some, that's alcohol. For others, it’s online shopping, porn, gambling, or numbing out.⁠
⁠
For me, it used to be smoking.⁠
⁠
It's how I dealt with stress and trauma before I had other resources. Even as an adult, it was my go-to pressure valve.⁠
⁠
I'm talking to people right now about how they are dealing with the layers of compounding trauma from the last few years. If you’re in the U.S., it feels like there is a crisis almost daily these days.⁠
⁠
We aren't meant to deal with chronic stress, so we look for ways to cope and release the pressure of life.⁠
⁠
Everyone has a different pressure valve.⁠
⁠
Like my boyfriend, Jim Hopper, we can get through hard times.⁠
⁠
We can find ways to release the pressures that are helpful, not harmful.⁠
⁠
Wherever you are right now, and however you're coping with life, I see you.⁠
⁠
If you're over-drinking, hiding boxes of online orders from your spouse, or numbing out on social media, I accept you without judgment.⁠
⁠
And, as always, I'm here for you.⁠
⁠
Sending you high-fives and 80s vibes, ⁠
⁠
Alexis
•
Follow
Jim Hopper is my boyfriend. 😘⁠ ⁠ I love Stranger Things. I counted down the days to the season 4 drop, and it did not disappoint. The soundtrack was fantastic. The acting and writing were stellar.⁠ ⁠ And then there was Jim Hopper.⁠ ⁠ Friend, I have a mad crush on David Harbour. If Alexis has a "type," it's his role as Jim Hopper.⁠ ⁠ ✅ Amazing dance moves⁠ ✅ 6’3” with a haaaaawwwwwtttt dad bod + cop uniform⁠ ✅ Looking like a SNACK⁠ ✅ Saves the damn day⁠ ⁠ Hopper is the stuff my fantasies are made of. 🤣⁠ ⁠ Without giving away spoilers, Hopper goes through several transformations/evolutions throughout the show.⁠ ⁠ We see his backstory and how he copes with life.⁠ ⁠ My therapist calls coping mechanisms "pressure valves," and I think it's a great way to describe how people cope with stress - with understanding and without judgment.⁠ ⁠ Had a hard day? Pull on your personal brand of pressure valve = release pressure.⁠ ⁠ For some, that's alcohol. For others, it’s online shopping, porn, gambling, or numbing out.⁠ ⁠ For me, it used to be smoking.⁠ ⁠ It's how I dealt with stress and trauma before I had other resources. Even as an adult, it was my go-to pressure valve.⁠ ⁠ I'm talking to people right now about how they are dealing with the layers of compounding trauma from the last few years. If you’re in the U.S., it feels like there is a crisis almost daily these days.⁠ ⁠ We aren't meant to deal with chronic stress, so we look for ways to cope and release the pressure of life.⁠ ⁠ Everyone has a different pressure valve.⁠ ⁠ Like my boyfriend, Jim Hopper, we can get through hard times.⁠ ⁠ We can find ways to release the pressures that are helpful, not harmful.⁠ ⁠ Wherever you are right now, and however you're coping with life, I see you.⁠ ⁠ If you're over-drinking, hiding boxes of online orders from your spouse, or numbing out on social media, I accept you without judgment.⁠ ⁠ And, as always, I'm here for you.⁠ ⁠ Sending you high-fives and 80s vibes, ⁠ ⁠ Alexis
9 months ago
View on Instagram |
3/6
If you don't want to read about "lady business" and cat buttholes, keep scrolling. 🤣⁠
⁠
I have THE WORST cramps. I always have. For two days, I'm destroyed.⁠
⁠
Eric knows the drill...that THIS IS NOT A DRILL!⁠
⁠
☑️ All cats on deck!⁠
⁠
☑️ Electric hot pad at all times!⁠
⁠
☑️ Blankets!⁠
⁠
☑️ Totino's pizza!⁠
⁠
☑️ Box of tissue because I will cry for two days at literally anything. If a squirrel is playing in the front yard or we're out of Totino's pizza. TEARS! ⁠
⁠
When I worked in advertising, it was rough. It's hard to find a gap to take 2-3 days off for vacation. Certainly not every month.⁠
⁠
While I love that more and more amazing companies are providing unlimited menstrual leave, it's not a standard. But that's a rant for another day… ⁠
⁠
Taking off these couple of days every month is one of the most significant benefits of starting my own business.⁠
⁠
Other unexpected benefits are having time to see family and friends more than 1-2x a year and sleeping as long as I need.⁠
⁠
I don't have to commute. I set my schedule to start later in the morning. If I need to, I can sleep a little later.⁠
⁠
I know this is a privilege since I don't have kids. Still, it was a benefit I purposefully identified as something I wanted when I left advertising, after more than a decade of terrible insomnia. ⁠
⁠
These benefits might not be what comes to mind when you imagine what "living your best life" looks like. They don't make for insta-worthy photos!⁠
⁠
But I think these little benefits make my life richer and give me more energy for those insta-worthy goals.⁠
⁠
Traveling is great, but IDK…sleeping in with Eric and morning snuggles are pretty great, too. (And then, of course, the cats because the SECOND I wake up, their radars go off, and there they are, on the bed, butts up in my face.)⁠
⁠
Literally over here, just waking up to three cat buttholes, living my best damn life!⁠
⁠
Buttholes aside, what are some simple benefits you could enjoy in your life if you said yes to something you want?⁠
⁠
If you feel like sharing, let me know in the comments. 👇🏻⁠
⁠
Sending you high-fives, snuggle vibes, and thanks if you stayed for all the lady business and cat butthole content!
•
Follow
If you don't want to read about "lady business" and cat buttholes, keep scrolling. 🤣⁠ ⁠ I have THE WORST cramps. I always have. For two days, I'm destroyed.⁠ ⁠ Eric knows the drill...that THIS IS NOT A DRILL!⁠ ⁠ ☑️ All cats on deck!⁠ ⁠ ☑️ Electric hot pad at all times!⁠ ⁠ ☑️ Blankets!⁠ ⁠ ☑️ Totino's pizza!⁠ ⁠ ☑️ Box of tissue because I will cry for two days at literally anything. If a squirrel is playing in the front yard or we're out of Totino's pizza. TEARS! ⁠ ⁠ When I worked in advertising, it was rough. It's hard to find a gap to take 2-3 days off for vacation. Certainly not every month.⁠ ⁠ While I love that more and more amazing companies are providing unlimited menstrual leave, it's not a standard. But that's a rant for another day… ⁠ ⁠ Taking off these couple of days every month is one of the most significant benefits of starting my own business.⁠ ⁠ Other unexpected benefits are having time to see family and friends more than 1-2x a year and sleeping as long as I need.⁠ ⁠ I don't have to commute. I set my schedule to start later in the morning. If I need to, I can sleep a little later.⁠ ⁠ I know this is a privilege since I don't have kids. Still, it was a benefit I purposefully identified as something I wanted when I left advertising, after more than a decade of terrible insomnia. ⁠ ⁠ These benefits might not be what comes to mind when you imagine what "living your best life" looks like. They don't make for insta-worthy photos!⁠ ⁠ But I think these little benefits make my life richer and give me more energy for those insta-worthy goals.⁠ ⁠ Traveling is great, but IDK…sleeping in with Eric and morning snuggles are pretty great, too. (And then, of course, the cats because the SECOND I wake up, their radars go off, and there they are, on the bed, butts up in my face.)⁠ ⁠ Literally over here, just waking up to three cat buttholes, living my best damn life!⁠ ⁠ Buttholes aside, what are some simple benefits you could enjoy in your life if you said yes to something you want?⁠ ⁠ If you feel like sharing, let me know in the comments. 👇🏻⁠ ⁠ Sending you high-fives, snuggle vibes, and thanks if you stayed for all the lady business and cat butthole content!
10 months ago
View on Instagram |
4/6
When I read this quote from Brianna Wiest’s The Mountain Is You, it immediately got my attention.⁠
 ⁠
If you want a different life, it’s going to cost you your old one. While that may sound simple, it’s complex.⁠
⁠
Often we don’t love how our lives look, but we’re comfortable in them.⁠
⁠
Some of us stay in an unhappy marriage because ignoring our problems is easier (and less painful) than having tough conversations, seeing a marriage counselor, or leaving.⁠
⁠
Some of us stay in a job that doesn’t let us use our strengths because it’s safer than going for the job that comes with more responsibility.⁠
⁠
And some of us have dreams that get put on the “someday” list, even though for most, “someday” usually turns into “never.”⁠
⁠
We don’t read the books we shoved in the back of the bookshelf, right? They collect dust, forgotten about.⁠
⁠
The change puts us out of our comfort zone.⁠
⁠
The comfort zone is safer to stay in, it’s true.⁠
⁠
It’s a place to settle, not to thrive.⁠
⁠
When we settle, we forget how to be hungry for things we want. Better relationships. More purpose in our work. More joy and pleasure in our lives.⁠
⁠
When we forget how it FEELS to be hungry, we settle for whatever is on the table.⁠
 ⁠
I want you to get hungry because I promise you, if you’re settling, your new life is worth the cost of the old one.⁠
⁠
Once you take a bite into your new life, you will realize the cost is worth paying.⁠
⁠
What are you hungry for, friend?⁠
⁠
If this post hits a nerve and you’re interested in chatting about how I can support you in coaching - taking those “someday” goals off the dusty-ass shelf and start working toward them today, DM me or write “coaching” in the comments. I’ll send you a link to book a discovery chat.⁠
⁠
Sending you support, hugs, and a nudge - might now be a great time to spring clean your life?⁠

Alexis
When I read this quote from Brianna Wiest’s The Mountain Is You, it immediately got my attention.⁠
 ⁠
If you want a different life, it’s going to cost you your old one. While that may sound simple, it’s complex.⁠
⁠
Often we don’t love how our lives look, but we’re comfortable in them.⁠
⁠
Some of us stay in an unhappy marriage because ignoring our problems is easier (and less painful) than having tough conversations, seeing a marriage counselor, or leaving.⁠
⁠
Some of us stay in a job that doesn’t let us use our strengths because it’s safer than going for the job that comes with more responsibility.⁠
⁠
And some of us have dreams that get put on the “someday” list, even though for most, “someday” usually turns into “never.”⁠
⁠
We don’t read the books we shoved in the back of the bookshelf, right? They collect dust, forgotten about.⁠
⁠
The change puts us out of our comfort zone.⁠
⁠
The comfort zone is safer to stay in, it’s true.⁠
⁠
It’s a place to settle, not to thrive.⁠
⁠
When we settle, we forget how to be hungry for things we want. Better relationships. More purpose in our work. More joy and pleasure in our lives.⁠
⁠
When we forget how it FEELS to be hungry, we settle for whatever is on the table.⁠
 ⁠
I want you to get hungry because I promise you, if you’re settling, your new life is worth the cost of the old one.⁠
⁠
Once you take a bite into your new life, you will realize the cost is worth paying.⁠
⁠
What are you hungry for, friend?⁠
⁠
If this post hits a nerve and you’re interested in chatting about how I can support you in coaching - taking those “someday” goals off the dusty-ass shelf and start working toward them today, DM me or write “coaching” in the comments. I’ll send you a link to book a discovery chat.⁠
⁠
Sending you support, hugs, and a nudge - might now be a great time to spring clean your life?⁠

Alexis
When I read this quote from Brianna Wiest’s The Mountain Is You, it immediately got my attention.⁠
 ⁠
If you want a different life, it’s going to cost you your old one. While that may sound simple, it’s complex.⁠
⁠
Often we don’t love how our lives look, but we’re comfortable in them.⁠
⁠
Some of us stay in an unhappy marriage because ignoring our problems is easier (and less painful) than having tough conversations, seeing a marriage counselor, or leaving.⁠
⁠
Some of us stay in a job that doesn’t let us use our strengths because it’s safer than going for the job that comes with more responsibility.⁠
⁠
And some of us have dreams that get put on the “someday” list, even though for most, “someday” usually turns into “never.”⁠
⁠
We don’t read the books we shoved in the back of the bookshelf, right? They collect dust, forgotten about.⁠
⁠
The change puts us out of our comfort zone.⁠
⁠
The comfort zone is safer to stay in, it’s true.⁠
⁠
It’s a place to settle, not to thrive.⁠
⁠
When we settle, we forget how to be hungry for things we want. Better relationships. More purpose in our work. More joy and pleasure in our lives.⁠
⁠
When we forget how it FEELS to be hungry, we settle for whatever is on the table.⁠
 ⁠
I want you to get hungry because I promise you, if you’re settling, your new life is worth the cost of the old one.⁠
⁠
Once you take a bite into your new life, you will realize the cost is worth paying.⁠
⁠
What are you hungry for, friend?⁠
⁠
If this post hits a nerve and you’re interested in chatting about how I can support you in coaching - taking those “someday” goals off the dusty-ass shelf and start working toward them today, DM me or write “coaching” in the comments. I’ll send you a link to book a discovery chat.⁠
⁠
Sending you support, hugs, and a nudge - might now be a great time to spring clean your life?⁠

Alexis
•
Follow
When I read this quote from Brianna Wiest’s The Mountain Is You, it immediately got my attention.⁠ ⁠ If you want a different life, it’s going to cost you your old one. While that may sound simple, it’s complex.⁠ ⁠ Often we don’t love how our lives look, but we’re comfortable in them.⁠ ⁠ Some of us stay in an unhappy marriage because ignoring our problems is easier (and less painful) than having tough conversations, seeing a marriage counselor, or leaving.⁠ ⁠ Some of us stay in a job that doesn’t let us use our strengths because it’s safer than going for the job that comes with more responsibility.⁠ ⁠ And some of us have dreams that get put on the “someday” list, even though for most, “someday” usually turns into “never.”⁠ ⁠ We don’t read the books we shoved in the back of the bookshelf, right? They collect dust, forgotten about.⁠ ⁠ The change puts us out of our comfort zone.⁠ ⁠ The comfort zone is safer to stay in, it’s true.⁠ ⁠ It’s a place to settle, not to thrive.⁠ ⁠ When we settle, we forget how to be hungry for things we want. Better relationships. More purpose in our work. More joy and pleasure in our lives.⁠ ⁠ When we forget how it FEELS to be hungry, we settle for whatever is on the table.⁠ ⁠ I want you to get hungry because I promise you, if you’re settling, your new life is worth the cost of the old one.⁠ ⁠ Once you take a bite into your new life, you will realize the cost is worth paying.⁠ ⁠ What are you hungry for, friend?⁠ ⁠ If this post hits a nerve and you’re interested in chatting about how I can support you in coaching - taking those “someday” goals off the dusty-ass shelf and start working toward them today, DM me or write “coaching” in the comments. I’ll send you a link to book a discovery chat.⁠ ⁠ Sending you support, hugs, and a nudge - might now be a great time to spring clean your life?⁠ Alexis
1 year ago
View on Instagram |
5/6
Are you the star of your own show or playing a supporting role?

The first time I heard of this concept, it turned me off. Right away, I thought of Mean Girls, with the star being a selfish bitch and the supporting role being the person we should aim to be. 🤣

The second time I heard it, though, it made more sense.

Being the star of the show isn’t about being the center of attention at the expense of others, but being the center of your own attention and care so you can live to your full potential.

Main characters take fantastic care of themselves and, as a result, are fantastic to be around. They encourage others to take care of themselves and lead any example.

Main characters go after what they want. That lets others see that it's possible (and the world isn’t going to fall apart) if they go after what they want, too.

Main characters don’t deny themselves joy or feel guilty for feeling it.

I know I’ve played a supporting role in my life before. If you know my loud, leopard-print-wearing ass personally, you might disagree, haha, but I wasn’t always bringing the main character energy to life.

The good lotion and fancy candles were only for special occasions. I didn’t wear things I loved because I didn’t feel thin enough to be “allowed” to wear them. 

But last night I went on a hot date with my man and wore a dress I love that fits my current body. I ate what I wanted and didn’t feel bad about it. I had fun, laughed, and flirted with Eric and it was a perfect night. I was full-on leading lady.

I wish main character me could go back and tell the past, supporting role me she is allowed to enjoy her life fully and go after what she wants.

Not when she’s earned it. Not when she’s good enough. Not when she’s smart enough.

Because she deserves it.

We all do.

It’s never too late to be the main character, friend.

What’s one area of your life you’re feeling like you’re showing up in the supporting role?

What would happen if you just showed up as the main character? What could be possible for you?

Sending you hugs, standing ovations, and permission to wear the expensive perfume you’ve been saving for a special occasion…(today is a special occasion)

Alexis
•
Follow
Are you the star of your own show or playing a supporting role? The first time I heard of this concept, it turned me off. Right away, I thought of Mean Girls, with the star being a selfish bitch and the supporting role being the person we should aim to be. 🤣 The second time I heard it, though, it made more sense. Being the star of the show isn’t about being the center of attention at the expense of others, but being the center of your own attention and care so you can live to your full potential. Main characters take fantastic care of themselves and, as a result, are fantastic to be around. They encourage others to take care of themselves and lead any example. Main characters go after what they want. That lets others see that it's possible (and the world isn’t going to fall apart) if they go after what they want, too. Main characters don’t deny themselves joy or feel guilty for feeling it. I know I’ve played a supporting role in my life before. If you know my loud, leopard-print-wearing ass personally, you might disagree, haha, but I wasn’t always bringing the main character energy to life. The good lotion and fancy candles were only for special occasions. I didn’t wear things I loved because I didn’t feel thin enough to be “allowed” to wear them. But last night I went on a hot date with my man and wore a dress I love that fits my current body. I ate what I wanted and didn’t feel bad about it. I had fun, laughed, and flirted with Eric and it was a perfect night. I was full-on leading lady. I wish main character me could go back and tell the past, supporting role me she is allowed to enjoy her life fully and go after what she wants. Not when she’s earned it. Not when she’s good enough. Not when she’s smart enough. Because she deserves it. We all do. It’s never too late to be the main character, friend. What’s one area of your life you’re feeling like you’re showing up in the supporting role? What would happen if you just showed up as the main character? What could be possible for you? Sending you hugs, standing ovations, and permission to wear the expensive perfume you’ve been saving for a special occasion…(today is a special occasion) Alexis
1 year ago
View on Instagram |
6/6
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