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Alexis Buhrman

Inspiration, Life Coaching
/
February 1, 2022

3 Reasons New Year’s Resolutions Don’t Work.

If you’ve failed to achieve your resolutions year after year, you know how frustrating it can feel. Not this year, friend! Here are 3 Reasons New Year’s Resolutions Don’t Work and one thing you can focus on instead.

As the end of the year approaches, ’tis the season to start thinking about New Year’s Resolutions. Americans spend a fortune on coaches, exercise equipment, apps, planners and books in the hopes that THIS will be the year they’ll change their lives.

But let me ask you a question.

Does everyone who makes New Year’s Resolutions achieve their goals?

No! Not even close.

80% of people who make resolutions have given up on their goals by Valentine’s Day. That’s a huge number! An 80% failure rate means something is flawed in our approach.

I mean, if I had a 20% chance of winning with my crappy poker hand, I would not go all in – know what I mean?

Almost 100 million American’s make resolutions each year, so it’s clear that we WANT to be successful. We want to achieve our goals.

I help professional women create lives with more purpose, peace and pleasure and here are three reasons that I believe resolutions don’t work – even for the most goal-getting high-achievers.

Reason #1: The goals are too restrictive

I don’t know what the hell it is about January 1st that makes people want to set these extreme goals. The kind of goals that consume your life and don’t leave room for anything else. The goals are too strict, the timelines are unrealistic and they deprive people of peace, pleasure and joy. Why would ANYONE want to stick to that. I wouldn’t.

If you want to achieve your goals, set yourself up to win. Give yourself a realistic, flexible timeline. Don’t bite off more than you can chew. Find a way to make your goals work for you so you can make progress AND still enjoy your life at the same time.

That leads me to reason two.

Reason #2: The goals are short-term focused

We underestimate what we can do in a day, but overestimate what we can do in a year. We treat goals like a sprint, but most goals should be treated like a marathon. The problem with focusing on the short-term is that we either rush to reach a goal at all costs – causing us stress, putting strain on our relationships, making us basically miserable, OR we give up because it’s too hard.

What if, instead of focusing on a short-term goals that make us feel like shit, like losing X amount of weight for a wedding, we focused on a long-term goal that would make us FEEL GOOD – like improving your health with small, realistic, achievable actions and habits all year long?

There’s no rule that says you have to achieve your resolutions in three months, right? They’re our resolutions – so we make the rules and set the timeline. How can you let it be easy and set yourself up for success by giving yourself a long-term approach?

woman's hand holding a pen writing new year's resolutions in a journal

The third reason New Year’s resolutions don’t work?

Reason #3: They’re simply the WRONG goals

We are so focused on goals and resolutions because we believe that when we achieve them, we’ll be happy.

But here’s a question for you.

Is everyone that achieves their new year’s resolutions happy? No!

Because our goals don’t guarantee us happiness if they’re missing a key component.

A VISION.

Think of your vision for the life you want to create as a cake. Not just any cake. Not a crappy sheet cake. YOUR specific, gorgeous, fabulous cake.

If you don’t know what type of cake you want to bake, how will you know if the ingredients (your goals) are the right ones to get your desired outcome?

We work toward goals because we think if we achieve them we’ll feel a certain way. Happy. Fulfilled. Peaceful.

But I know a lot of people who got the degree, climbed the ladder, started the business thinking it would make them happy, and they’re actually stressed out, resentful, angry and unhappy.

When we have a vision for the life we want to create FIRST, before we pick our goals – we pick better goals. We consider more options.

We get the right ingredients for the cake we’re baking so it turns out and we don’t have a cake fail.

And when we know our vision, we can take a long-term, less restrictive approach to achieving our goals.

Those were 3 reasons New Year’s resolutions don’t work. I’d love to know which one resonated most with you. Drop the number in the comments and say hello!

READY TO FIND A NEW, FEEL-GOOD WAY TO ACHIEVE YOUR GOALS?

Here’s how we can work together.

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TAGS:Goal-settingLife Coaching TipsNew Year's ResolutionsVision
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Alexis Buhrman

I help professional women bring more purpose, peace and pleasure into their lives, without sacrificing one for the other, to create a main character life. I teach my clients a strategy to work toward their business, professional, and personal goals in a sustainable, feel-good way, with more confidence, ease, joy, fun, and pleasure.

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  • Let’s End this Painful New Year’s Resolution Cycle
  • What are you saying “YES” to?
  • Achieving Goals Does Not Guarantee Happiness
  • Too Pandemic-Fried for New Year’s Resolutions? Do this instead.
  • 3 Reasons New Year’s Resolutions Don’t Work.

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Follow on Instagram

What’s your pain threshold on a scale of 1-10?

When I was home last month, I saw many of my oldest friends.
 
We talked about real-life stuff. Stuff we've struggled with, or are currently working through.
 
From alcoholism to smoking, stress eating to relationship struggles, everything was on the table.
 
What we all have in common is that we all have our own sabotages and ways of coping with life.
 
What we don't have in common is the exact timeline for when we are willing and/or able to change them.
 
People have different pain thresholds.
 
Some people can tolerate lots of pain. They can suffer in unhappiness for years. Think of people you know who've been in miserable marriages for decades.
 
Some people, like myself, tolerate little. My threshold is low. Not because I can't handle pain, but because I want to address issues before they become a big deal and I revert back to old Alexis and deal with my shit with a pack of Virginia Slim Light 120s and a bottle of Hendricks...
 
If you are tolerating things in your life that you want to change, here are some questions you can ask yourself:
 
1. Where do you rate your pain threshold on a 1-10, 1 being low tolerance and ten being highest?
 
2. Would that rating be the same if you were in the same place a year from now?
 
3. For how long, or under what circumstances are you willing to tolerate this issue?
 
4. What do you gain out of staying in the current situation?
 
5. And lastly, what number do you think you'd need to be at to finally be driven to make a change?
 
For me, it's a 2-3, max. It depends on the situation and its pros and cons.

For example, I'm tolerating that I can't have any damn plants in my house because I have cats that are complete assholes. But, I love these assholes, so a plantless life is something I am willing to tolerate...begrudgingly...
 
You may be tolerating something, but there are some reasons that make it work for you, too. Until you decide it doesn't anymore.
 
If you're below a five on the threshold scale and want to talk about what a change might look like and how I could help you, let’s talk.
 
Whatever your thoughts or fears, change is possible, and I am here for you.
•
Follow
What’s your pain threshold on a scale of 1-10? When I was home last month, I saw many of my oldest friends. We talked about real-life stuff. Stuff we've struggled with, or are currently working through. From alcoholism to smoking, stress eating to relationship struggles, everything was on the table. What we all have in common is that we all have our own sabotages and ways of coping with life. What we don't have in common is the exact timeline for when we are willing and/or able to change them. People have different pain thresholds. Some people can tolerate lots of pain. They can suffer in unhappiness for years. Think of people you know who've been in miserable marriages for decades. Some people, like myself, tolerate little. My threshold is low. Not because I can't handle pain, but because I want to address issues before they become a big deal and I revert back to old Alexis and deal with my shit with a pack of Virginia Slim Light 120s and a bottle of Hendricks... If you are tolerating things in your life that you want to change, here are some questions you can ask yourself: 1. Where do you rate your pain threshold on a 1-10, 1 being low tolerance and ten being highest? 2. Would that rating be the same if you were in the same place a year from now? 3. For how long, or under what circumstances are you willing to tolerate this issue? 4. What do you gain out of staying in the current situation? 5. And lastly, what number do you think you'd need to be at to finally be driven to make a change? For me, it's a 2-3, max. It depends on the situation and its pros and cons. For example, I'm tolerating that I can't have any damn plants in my house because I have cats that are complete assholes. But, I love these assholes, so a plantless life is something I am willing to tolerate...begrudgingly... You may be tolerating something, but there are some reasons that make it work for you, too. Until you decide it doesn't anymore. If you're below a five on the threshold scale and want to talk about what a change might look like and how I could help you, let’s talk. Whatever your thoughts or fears, change is possible, and I am here for you.
9 months ago
View on Instagram |
1/4
The first six months of the year are officially over. WHAT?! WHERE?! HOW?! 🤣

Maybe you started 2022 with goals for the year and you're making progress. Awesome! Maybe you're feeling behind.

Maybe you didn’t give a damn about goals because, you know, America is basically on fire…

You know me. I'm all about evaluating things in a non-judgmental, curious way: what's working, what isn't, and what am I going to do about it.

If you feel like evaluating where you're at today, now could be a great time to get started.

If you haven't made the progress you hoped for at the start of the year, this could be a great opportunity to get curious about why, so you can start making shifts and changes.

If 2022 hasn't been what you hoped, that's okay. Let's focus on today and what is possible moving forward.

Where would you like to be on New Year's Eve six months from now?

Who do you hope to be?

How do you want to feel?

What do you hope would be different between then and now?

If you are ready to take action and need support, I would love to work with you.

In April, I launched a beta run for my new program. Participants spent two days with me in a virtual retreat, getting crystal clear on the life they wanted to create and their goals, LIVE in my online course, The 48-Hour Planning Retreat™.

I took feedback, refined the process, and expanded the program to provide more support, and now I'm relaunching it – my beta 2.0.

❌  If you feel stuck and you're not getting the outcomes you want, this program may be right for you.

❌  If you missed the last round and don't want to miss out this time, this program may be right for you.

❌  If you have been trying to make changes, but they're not working, and you need to shake things up and try something different, this program may be right for you.

Enrollment and space are limited because of the intimacy and personalization of the program. I have spots open now through September.

Interested in learning more? DM me or Comment “BETA” and I’ll send you an outline of what you get, and if you’re still interested, a link to book a no-pressure discovery call.

I would be honored to work with you through the rest of this year!
•
Follow
The first six months of the year are officially over. WHAT?! WHERE?! HOW?! 🤣 Maybe you started 2022 with goals for the year and you're making progress. Awesome! Maybe you're feeling behind. Maybe you didn’t give a damn about goals because, you know, America is basically on fire… You know me. I'm all about evaluating things in a non-judgmental, curious way: what's working, what isn't, and what am I going to do about it. If you feel like evaluating where you're at today, now could be a great time to get started. If you haven't made the progress you hoped for at the start of the year, this could be a great opportunity to get curious about why, so you can start making shifts and changes. If 2022 hasn't been what you hoped, that's okay. Let's focus on today and what is possible moving forward. Where would you like to be on New Year's Eve six months from now? Who do you hope to be? How do you want to feel? What do you hope would be different between then and now? If you are ready to take action and need support, I would love to work with you. In April, I launched a beta run for my new program. Participants spent two days with me in a virtual retreat, getting crystal clear on the life they wanted to create and their goals, LIVE in my online course, The 48-Hour Planning Retreat™. I took feedback, refined the process, and expanded the program to provide more support, and now I'm relaunching it – my beta 2.0. ❌ If you feel stuck and you're not getting the outcomes you want, this program may be right for you. ❌ If you missed the last round and don't want to miss out this time, this program may be right for you. ❌ If you have been trying to make changes, but they're not working, and you need to shake things up and try something different, this program may be right for you. Enrollment and space are limited because of the intimacy and personalization of the program. I have spots open now through September. Interested in learning more? DM me or Comment “BETA” and I’ll send you an outline of what you get, and if you’re still interested, a link to book a no-pressure discovery call. I would be honored to work with you through the rest of this year!
9 months ago
View on Instagram |
2/4
Jim Hopper is my boyfriend. 😘⁠
⁠
I love Stranger Things. I counted down the days to the season 4 drop, and it did not disappoint. The soundtrack was fantastic. The acting and writing were stellar.⁠
⁠
And then there was Jim Hopper.⁠
⁠
Friend, I have a mad crush on David Harbour. If Alexis has a "type," it's his role as Jim Hopper.⁠
⁠
✅ Amazing dance moves⁠
✅ 6’3” with a haaaaawwwwwtttt dad bod + cop uniform⁠
✅ Looking like a SNACK⁠
✅ Saves the damn day⁠
⁠
Hopper is the stuff my fantasies are made of. 🤣⁠
⁠
Without giving away spoilers, Hopper goes through several transformations/evolutions throughout the show.⁠
⁠
We see his backstory and how he copes with life.⁠
⁠
My therapist calls coping mechanisms "pressure valves," and I think it's a great way to describe how people cope with stress - with understanding and without judgment.⁠
⁠
Had a hard day? Pull on your personal brand of pressure valve = release pressure.⁠
⁠
For some, that's alcohol. For others, it’s online shopping, porn, gambling, or numbing out.⁠
⁠
For me, it used to be smoking.⁠
⁠
It's how I dealt with stress and trauma before I had other resources. Even as an adult, it was my go-to pressure valve.⁠
⁠
I'm talking to people right now about how they are dealing with the layers of compounding trauma from the last few years. If you’re in the U.S., it feels like there is a crisis almost daily these days.⁠
⁠
We aren't meant to deal with chronic stress, so we look for ways to cope and release the pressure of life.⁠
⁠
Everyone has a different pressure valve.⁠
⁠
Like my boyfriend, Jim Hopper, we can get through hard times.⁠
⁠
We can find ways to release the pressures that are helpful, not harmful.⁠
⁠
Wherever you are right now, and however you're coping with life, I see you.⁠
⁠
If you're over-drinking, hiding boxes of online orders from your spouse, or numbing out on social media, I accept you without judgment.⁠
⁠
And, as always, I'm here for you.⁠
⁠
Sending you high-fives and 80s vibes, ⁠
⁠
Alexis
•
Follow
Jim Hopper is my boyfriend. 😘⁠ ⁠ I love Stranger Things. I counted down the days to the season 4 drop, and it did not disappoint. The soundtrack was fantastic. The acting and writing were stellar.⁠ ⁠ And then there was Jim Hopper.⁠ ⁠ Friend, I have a mad crush on David Harbour. If Alexis has a "type," it's his role as Jim Hopper.⁠ ⁠ ✅ Amazing dance moves⁠ ✅ 6’3” with a haaaaawwwwwtttt dad bod + cop uniform⁠ ✅ Looking like a SNACK⁠ ✅ Saves the damn day⁠ ⁠ Hopper is the stuff my fantasies are made of. 🤣⁠ ⁠ Without giving away spoilers, Hopper goes through several transformations/evolutions throughout the show.⁠ ⁠ We see his backstory and how he copes with life.⁠ ⁠ My therapist calls coping mechanisms "pressure valves," and I think it's a great way to describe how people cope with stress - with understanding and without judgment.⁠ ⁠ Had a hard day? Pull on your personal brand of pressure valve = release pressure.⁠ ⁠ For some, that's alcohol. For others, it’s online shopping, porn, gambling, or numbing out.⁠ ⁠ For me, it used to be smoking.⁠ ⁠ It's how I dealt with stress and trauma before I had other resources. Even as an adult, it was my go-to pressure valve.⁠ ⁠ I'm talking to people right now about how they are dealing with the layers of compounding trauma from the last few years. If you’re in the U.S., it feels like there is a crisis almost daily these days.⁠ ⁠ We aren't meant to deal with chronic stress, so we look for ways to cope and release the pressure of life.⁠ ⁠ Everyone has a different pressure valve.⁠ ⁠ Like my boyfriend, Jim Hopper, we can get through hard times.⁠ ⁠ We can find ways to release the pressures that are helpful, not harmful.⁠ ⁠ Wherever you are right now, and however you're coping with life, I see you.⁠ ⁠ If you're over-drinking, hiding boxes of online orders from your spouse, or numbing out on social media, I accept you without judgment.⁠ ⁠ And, as always, I'm here for you.⁠ ⁠ Sending you high-fives and 80s vibes, ⁠ ⁠ Alexis
9 months ago
View on Instagram |
3/4
If you don't want to read about "lady business" and cat buttholes, keep scrolling. 🤣⁠
⁠
I have THE WORST cramps. I always have. For two days, I'm destroyed.⁠
⁠
Eric knows the drill...that THIS IS NOT A DRILL!⁠
⁠
☑️ All cats on deck!⁠
⁠
☑️ Electric hot pad at all times!⁠
⁠
☑️ Blankets!⁠
⁠
☑️ Totino's pizza!⁠
⁠
☑️ Box of tissue because I will cry for two days at literally anything. If a squirrel is playing in the front yard or we're out of Totino's pizza. TEARS! ⁠
⁠
When I worked in advertising, it was rough. It's hard to find a gap to take 2-3 days off for vacation. Certainly not every month.⁠
⁠
While I love that more and more amazing companies are providing unlimited menstrual leave, it's not a standard. But that's a rant for another day… ⁠
⁠
Taking off these couple of days every month is one of the most significant benefits of starting my own business.⁠
⁠
Other unexpected benefits are having time to see family and friends more than 1-2x a year and sleeping as long as I need.⁠
⁠
I don't have to commute. I set my schedule to start later in the morning. If I need to, I can sleep a little later.⁠
⁠
I know this is a privilege since I don't have kids. Still, it was a benefit I purposefully identified as something I wanted when I left advertising, after more than a decade of terrible insomnia. ⁠
⁠
These benefits might not be what comes to mind when you imagine what "living your best life" looks like. They don't make for insta-worthy photos!⁠
⁠
But I think these little benefits make my life richer and give me more energy for those insta-worthy goals.⁠
⁠
Traveling is great, but IDK…sleeping in with Eric and morning snuggles are pretty great, too. (And then, of course, the cats because the SECOND I wake up, their radars go off, and there they are, on the bed, butts up in my face.)⁠
⁠
Literally over here, just waking up to three cat buttholes, living my best damn life!⁠
⁠
Buttholes aside, what are some simple benefits you could enjoy in your life if you said yes to something you want?⁠
⁠
If you feel like sharing, let me know in the comments. 👇🏻⁠
⁠
Sending you high-fives, snuggle vibes, and thanks if you stayed for all the lady business and cat butthole content!
•
Follow
If you don't want to read about "lady business" and cat buttholes, keep scrolling. 🤣⁠ ⁠ I have THE WORST cramps. I always have. For two days, I'm destroyed.⁠ ⁠ Eric knows the drill...that THIS IS NOT A DRILL!⁠ ⁠ ☑️ All cats on deck!⁠ ⁠ ☑️ Electric hot pad at all times!⁠ ⁠ ☑️ Blankets!⁠ ⁠ ☑️ Totino's pizza!⁠ ⁠ ☑️ Box of tissue because I will cry for two days at literally anything. If a squirrel is playing in the front yard or we're out of Totino's pizza. TEARS! ⁠ ⁠ When I worked in advertising, it was rough. It's hard to find a gap to take 2-3 days off for vacation. Certainly not every month.⁠ ⁠ While I love that more and more amazing companies are providing unlimited menstrual leave, it's not a standard. But that's a rant for another day… ⁠ ⁠ Taking off these couple of days every month is one of the most significant benefits of starting my own business.⁠ ⁠ Other unexpected benefits are having time to see family and friends more than 1-2x a year and sleeping as long as I need.⁠ ⁠ I don't have to commute. I set my schedule to start later in the morning. If I need to, I can sleep a little later.⁠ ⁠ I know this is a privilege since I don't have kids. Still, it was a benefit I purposefully identified as something I wanted when I left advertising, after more than a decade of terrible insomnia. ⁠ ⁠ These benefits might not be what comes to mind when you imagine what "living your best life" looks like. They don't make for insta-worthy photos!⁠ ⁠ But I think these little benefits make my life richer and give me more energy for those insta-worthy goals.⁠ ⁠ Traveling is great, but IDK…sleeping in with Eric and morning snuggles are pretty great, too. (And then, of course, the cats because the SECOND I wake up, their radars go off, and there they are, on the bed, butts up in my face.)⁠ ⁠ Literally over here, just waking up to three cat buttholes, living my best damn life!⁠ ⁠ Buttholes aside, what are some simple benefits you could enjoy in your life if you said yes to something you want?⁠ ⁠ If you feel like sharing, let me know in the comments. 👇🏻⁠ ⁠ Sending you high-fives, snuggle vibes, and thanks if you stayed for all the lady business and cat butthole content!
10 months ago
View on Instagram |
4/4

Categories

  • Goals
  • Inspiration
  • Life Coaching
  • Motivation
  • Uncategorized

@alexisbcoaching

What’s your pain threshold on a scale of 1-10?

When I was home last month, I saw many of my oldest friends.
 
We talked about real-life stuff. Stuff we've struggled with, or are currently working through.
 
From alcoholism to smoking, stress eating to relationship struggles, everything was on the table.
 
What we all have in common is that we all have our own sabotages and ways of coping with life.
 
What we don't have in common is the exact timeline for when we are willing and/or able to change them.
 
People have different pain thresholds.
 
Some people can tolerate lots of pain. They can suffer in unhappiness for years. Think of people you know who've been in miserable marriages for decades.
 
Some people, like myself, tolerate little. My threshold is low. Not because I can't handle pain, but because I want to address issues before they become a big deal and I revert back to old Alexis and deal with my shit with a pack of Virginia Slim Light 120s and a bottle of Hendricks...
 
If you are tolerating things in your life that you want to change, here are some questions you can ask yourself:
 
1. Where do you rate your pain threshold on a 1-10, 1 being low tolerance and ten being highest?
 
2. Would that rating be the same if you were in the same place a year from now?
 
3. For how long, or under what circumstances are you willing to tolerate this issue?
 
4. What do you gain out of staying in the current situation?
 
5. And lastly, what number do you think you'd need to be at to finally be driven to make a change?
 
For me, it's a 2-3, max. It depends on the situation and its pros and cons.

For example, I'm tolerating that I can't have any damn plants in my house because I have cats that are complete assholes. But, I love these assholes, so a plantless life is something I am willing to tolerate...begrudgingly...
 
You may be tolerating something, but there are some reasons that make it work for you, too. Until you decide it doesn't anymore.
 
If you're below a five on the threshold scale and want to talk about what a change might look like and how I could help you, let’s talk.
 
Whatever your thoughts or fears, change is possible, and I am here for you.
•
Follow
What’s your pain threshold on a scale of 1-10? When I was home last month, I saw many of my oldest friends. We talked about real-life stuff. Stuff we've struggled with, or are currently working through. From alcoholism to smoking, stress eating to relationship struggles, everything was on the table. What we all have in common is that we all have our own sabotages and ways of coping with life. What we don't have in common is the exact timeline for when we are willing and/or able to change them. People have different pain thresholds. Some people can tolerate lots of pain. They can suffer in unhappiness for years. Think of people you know who've been in miserable marriages for decades. Some people, like myself, tolerate little. My threshold is low. Not because I can't handle pain, but because I want to address issues before they become a big deal and I revert back to old Alexis and deal with my shit with a pack of Virginia Slim Light 120s and a bottle of Hendricks... If you are tolerating things in your life that you want to change, here are some questions you can ask yourself: 1. Where do you rate your pain threshold on a 1-10, 1 being low tolerance and ten being highest? 2. Would that rating be the same if you were in the same place a year from now? 3. For how long, or under what circumstances are you willing to tolerate this issue? 4. What do you gain out of staying in the current situation? 5. And lastly, what number do you think you'd need to be at to finally be driven to make a change? For me, it's a 2-3, max. It depends on the situation and its pros and cons. For example, I'm tolerating that I can't have any damn plants in my house because I have cats that are complete assholes. But, I love these assholes, so a plantless life is something I am willing to tolerate...begrudgingly... You may be tolerating something, but there are some reasons that make it work for you, too. Until you decide it doesn't anymore. If you're below a five on the threshold scale and want to talk about what a change might look like and how I could help you, let’s talk. Whatever your thoughts or fears, change is possible, and I am here for you.
9 months ago
View on Instagram |
1/6
The first six months of the year are officially over. WHAT?! WHERE?! HOW?! 🤣

Maybe you started 2022 with goals for the year and you're making progress. Awesome! Maybe you're feeling behind.

Maybe you didn’t give a damn about goals because, you know, America is basically on fire…

You know me. I'm all about evaluating things in a non-judgmental, curious way: what's working, what isn't, and what am I going to do about it.

If you feel like evaluating where you're at today, now could be a great time to get started.

If you haven't made the progress you hoped for at the start of the year, this could be a great opportunity to get curious about why, so you can start making shifts and changes.

If 2022 hasn't been what you hoped, that's okay. Let's focus on today and what is possible moving forward.

Where would you like to be on New Year's Eve six months from now?

Who do you hope to be?

How do you want to feel?

What do you hope would be different between then and now?

If you are ready to take action and need support, I would love to work with you.

In April, I launched a beta run for my new program. Participants spent two days with me in a virtual retreat, getting crystal clear on the life they wanted to create and their goals, LIVE in my online course, The 48-Hour Planning Retreat™.

I took feedback, refined the process, and expanded the program to provide more support, and now I'm relaunching it – my beta 2.0.

❌  If you feel stuck and you're not getting the outcomes you want, this program may be right for you.

❌  If you missed the last round and don't want to miss out this time, this program may be right for you.

❌  If you have been trying to make changes, but they're not working, and you need to shake things up and try something different, this program may be right for you.

Enrollment and space are limited because of the intimacy and personalization of the program. I have spots open now through September.

Interested in learning more? DM me or Comment “BETA” and I’ll send you an outline of what you get, and if you’re still interested, a link to book a no-pressure discovery call.

I would be honored to work with you through the rest of this year!
•
Follow
The first six months of the year are officially over. WHAT?! WHERE?! HOW?! 🤣 Maybe you started 2022 with goals for the year and you're making progress. Awesome! Maybe you're feeling behind. Maybe you didn’t give a damn about goals because, you know, America is basically on fire… You know me. I'm all about evaluating things in a non-judgmental, curious way: what's working, what isn't, and what am I going to do about it. If you feel like evaluating where you're at today, now could be a great time to get started. If you haven't made the progress you hoped for at the start of the year, this could be a great opportunity to get curious about why, so you can start making shifts and changes. If 2022 hasn't been what you hoped, that's okay. Let's focus on today and what is possible moving forward. Where would you like to be on New Year's Eve six months from now? Who do you hope to be? How do you want to feel? What do you hope would be different between then and now? If you are ready to take action and need support, I would love to work with you. In April, I launched a beta run for my new program. Participants spent two days with me in a virtual retreat, getting crystal clear on the life they wanted to create and their goals, LIVE in my online course, The 48-Hour Planning Retreat™. I took feedback, refined the process, and expanded the program to provide more support, and now I'm relaunching it – my beta 2.0. ❌ If you feel stuck and you're not getting the outcomes you want, this program may be right for you. ❌ If you missed the last round and don't want to miss out this time, this program may be right for you. ❌ If you have been trying to make changes, but they're not working, and you need to shake things up and try something different, this program may be right for you. Enrollment and space are limited because of the intimacy and personalization of the program. I have spots open now through September. Interested in learning more? DM me or Comment “BETA” and I’ll send you an outline of what you get, and if you’re still interested, a link to book a no-pressure discovery call. I would be honored to work with you through the rest of this year!
9 months ago
View on Instagram |
2/6
Jim Hopper is my boyfriend. 😘⁠
⁠
I love Stranger Things. I counted down the days to the season 4 drop, and it did not disappoint. The soundtrack was fantastic. The acting and writing were stellar.⁠
⁠
And then there was Jim Hopper.⁠
⁠
Friend, I have a mad crush on David Harbour. If Alexis has a "type," it's his role as Jim Hopper.⁠
⁠
✅ Amazing dance moves⁠
✅ 6’3” with a haaaaawwwwwtttt dad bod + cop uniform⁠
✅ Looking like a SNACK⁠
✅ Saves the damn day⁠
⁠
Hopper is the stuff my fantasies are made of. 🤣⁠
⁠
Without giving away spoilers, Hopper goes through several transformations/evolutions throughout the show.⁠
⁠
We see his backstory and how he copes with life.⁠
⁠
My therapist calls coping mechanisms "pressure valves," and I think it's a great way to describe how people cope with stress - with understanding and without judgment.⁠
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Had a hard day? Pull on your personal brand of pressure valve = release pressure.⁠
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For some, that's alcohol. For others, it’s online shopping, porn, gambling, or numbing out.⁠
⁠
For me, it used to be smoking.⁠
⁠
It's how I dealt with stress and trauma before I had other resources. Even as an adult, it was my go-to pressure valve.⁠
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I'm talking to people right now about how they are dealing with the layers of compounding trauma from the last few years. If you’re in the U.S., it feels like there is a crisis almost daily these days.⁠
⁠
We aren't meant to deal with chronic stress, so we look for ways to cope and release the pressure of life.⁠
⁠
Everyone has a different pressure valve.⁠
⁠
Like my boyfriend, Jim Hopper, we can get through hard times.⁠
⁠
We can find ways to release the pressures that are helpful, not harmful.⁠
⁠
Wherever you are right now, and however you're coping with life, I see you.⁠
⁠
If you're over-drinking, hiding boxes of online orders from your spouse, or numbing out on social media, I accept you without judgment.⁠
⁠
And, as always, I'm here for you.⁠
⁠
Sending you high-fives and 80s vibes, ⁠
⁠
Alexis
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Follow
Jim Hopper is my boyfriend. 😘⁠ ⁠ I love Stranger Things. I counted down the days to the season 4 drop, and it did not disappoint. The soundtrack was fantastic. The acting and writing were stellar.⁠ ⁠ And then there was Jim Hopper.⁠ ⁠ Friend, I have a mad crush on David Harbour. If Alexis has a "type," it's his role as Jim Hopper.⁠ ⁠ ✅ Amazing dance moves⁠ ✅ 6’3” with a haaaaawwwwwtttt dad bod + cop uniform⁠ ✅ Looking like a SNACK⁠ ✅ Saves the damn day⁠ ⁠ Hopper is the stuff my fantasies are made of. 🤣⁠ ⁠ Without giving away spoilers, Hopper goes through several transformations/evolutions throughout the show.⁠ ⁠ We see his backstory and how he copes with life.⁠ ⁠ My therapist calls coping mechanisms "pressure valves," and I think it's a great way to describe how people cope with stress - with understanding and without judgment.⁠ ⁠ Had a hard day? Pull on your personal brand of pressure valve = release pressure.⁠ ⁠ For some, that's alcohol. For others, it’s online shopping, porn, gambling, or numbing out.⁠ ⁠ For me, it used to be smoking.⁠ ⁠ It's how I dealt with stress and trauma before I had other resources. Even as an adult, it was my go-to pressure valve.⁠ ⁠ I'm talking to people right now about how they are dealing with the layers of compounding trauma from the last few years. If you’re in the U.S., it feels like there is a crisis almost daily these days.⁠ ⁠ We aren't meant to deal with chronic stress, so we look for ways to cope and release the pressure of life.⁠ ⁠ Everyone has a different pressure valve.⁠ ⁠ Like my boyfriend, Jim Hopper, we can get through hard times.⁠ ⁠ We can find ways to release the pressures that are helpful, not harmful.⁠ ⁠ Wherever you are right now, and however you're coping with life, I see you.⁠ ⁠ If you're over-drinking, hiding boxes of online orders from your spouse, or numbing out on social media, I accept you without judgment.⁠ ⁠ And, as always, I'm here for you.⁠ ⁠ Sending you high-fives and 80s vibes, ⁠ ⁠ Alexis
9 months ago
View on Instagram |
3/6
If you don't want to read about "lady business" and cat buttholes, keep scrolling. 🤣⁠
⁠
I have THE WORST cramps. I always have. For two days, I'm destroyed.⁠
⁠
Eric knows the drill...that THIS IS NOT A DRILL!⁠
⁠
☑️ All cats on deck!⁠
⁠
☑️ Electric hot pad at all times!⁠
⁠
☑️ Blankets!⁠
⁠
☑️ Totino's pizza!⁠
⁠
☑️ Box of tissue because I will cry for two days at literally anything. If a squirrel is playing in the front yard or we're out of Totino's pizza. TEARS! ⁠
⁠
When I worked in advertising, it was rough. It's hard to find a gap to take 2-3 days off for vacation. Certainly not every month.⁠
⁠
While I love that more and more amazing companies are providing unlimited menstrual leave, it's not a standard. But that's a rant for another day… ⁠
⁠
Taking off these couple of days every month is one of the most significant benefits of starting my own business.⁠
⁠
Other unexpected benefits are having time to see family and friends more than 1-2x a year and sleeping as long as I need.⁠
⁠
I don't have to commute. I set my schedule to start later in the morning. If I need to, I can sleep a little later.⁠
⁠
I know this is a privilege since I don't have kids. Still, it was a benefit I purposefully identified as something I wanted when I left advertising, after more than a decade of terrible insomnia. ⁠
⁠
These benefits might not be what comes to mind when you imagine what "living your best life" looks like. They don't make for insta-worthy photos!⁠
⁠
But I think these little benefits make my life richer and give me more energy for those insta-worthy goals.⁠
⁠
Traveling is great, but IDK…sleeping in with Eric and morning snuggles are pretty great, too. (And then, of course, the cats because the SECOND I wake up, their radars go off, and there they are, on the bed, butts up in my face.)⁠
⁠
Literally over here, just waking up to three cat buttholes, living my best damn life!⁠
⁠
Buttholes aside, what are some simple benefits you could enjoy in your life if you said yes to something you want?⁠
⁠
If you feel like sharing, let me know in the comments. 👇🏻⁠
⁠
Sending you high-fives, snuggle vibes, and thanks if you stayed for all the lady business and cat butthole content!
•
Follow
If you don't want to read about "lady business" and cat buttholes, keep scrolling. 🤣⁠ ⁠ I have THE WORST cramps. I always have. For two days, I'm destroyed.⁠ ⁠ Eric knows the drill...that THIS IS NOT A DRILL!⁠ ⁠ ☑️ All cats on deck!⁠ ⁠ ☑️ Electric hot pad at all times!⁠ ⁠ ☑️ Blankets!⁠ ⁠ ☑️ Totino's pizza!⁠ ⁠ ☑️ Box of tissue because I will cry for two days at literally anything. If a squirrel is playing in the front yard or we're out of Totino's pizza. TEARS! ⁠ ⁠ When I worked in advertising, it was rough. It's hard to find a gap to take 2-3 days off for vacation. Certainly not every month.⁠ ⁠ While I love that more and more amazing companies are providing unlimited menstrual leave, it's not a standard. But that's a rant for another day… ⁠ ⁠ Taking off these couple of days every month is one of the most significant benefits of starting my own business.⁠ ⁠ Other unexpected benefits are having time to see family and friends more than 1-2x a year and sleeping as long as I need.⁠ ⁠ I don't have to commute. I set my schedule to start later in the morning. If I need to, I can sleep a little later.⁠ ⁠ I know this is a privilege since I don't have kids. Still, it was a benefit I purposefully identified as something I wanted when I left advertising, after more than a decade of terrible insomnia. ⁠ ⁠ These benefits might not be what comes to mind when you imagine what "living your best life" looks like. They don't make for insta-worthy photos!⁠ ⁠ But I think these little benefits make my life richer and give me more energy for those insta-worthy goals.⁠ ⁠ Traveling is great, but IDK…sleeping in with Eric and morning snuggles are pretty great, too. (And then, of course, the cats because the SECOND I wake up, their radars go off, and there they are, on the bed, butts up in my face.)⁠ ⁠ Literally over here, just waking up to three cat buttholes, living my best damn life!⁠ ⁠ Buttholes aside, what are some simple benefits you could enjoy in your life if you said yes to something you want?⁠ ⁠ If you feel like sharing, let me know in the comments. 👇🏻⁠ ⁠ Sending you high-fives, snuggle vibes, and thanks if you stayed for all the lady business and cat butthole content!
10 months ago
View on Instagram |
4/6
When I read this quote from Brianna Wiest’s The Mountain Is You, it immediately got my attention.⁠
 ⁠
If you want a different life, it’s going to cost you your old one. While that may sound simple, it’s complex.⁠
⁠
Often we don’t love how our lives look, but we’re comfortable in them.⁠
⁠
Some of us stay in an unhappy marriage because ignoring our problems is easier (and less painful) than having tough conversations, seeing a marriage counselor, or leaving.⁠
⁠
Some of us stay in a job that doesn’t let us use our strengths because it’s safer than going for the job that comes with more responsibility.⁠
⁠
And some of us have dreams that get put on the “someday” list, even though for most, “someday” usually turns into “never.”⁠
⁠
We don’t read the books we shoved in the back of the bookshelf, right? They collect dust, forgotten about.⁠
⁠
The change puts us out of our comfort zone.⁠
⁠
The comfort zone is safer to stay in, it’s true.⁠
⁠
It’s a place to settle, not to thrive.⁠
⁠
When we settle, we forget how to be hungry for things we want. Better relationships. More purpose in our work. More joy and pleasure in our lives.⁠
⁠
When we forget how it FEELS to be hungry, we settle for whatever is on the table.⁠
 ⁠
I want you to get hungry because I promise you, if you’re settling, your new life is worth the cost of the old one.⁠
⁠
Once you take a bite into your new life, you will realize the cost is worth paying.⁠
⁠
What are you hungry for, friend?⁠
⁠
If this post hits a nerve and you’re interested in chatting about how I can support you in coaching - taking those “someday” goals off the dusty-ass shelf and start working toward them today, DM me or write “coaching” in the comments. I’ll send you a link to book a discovery chat.⁠
⁠
Sending you support, hugs, and a nudge - might now be a great time to spring clean your life?⁠

Alexis
When I read this quote from Brianna Wiest’s The Mountain Is You, it immediately got my attention.⁠
 ⁠
If you want a different life, it’s going to cost you your old one. While that may sound simple, it’s complex.⁠
⁠
Often we don’t love how our lives look, but we’re comfortable in them.⁠
⁠
Some of us stay in an unhappy marriage because ignoring our problems is easier (and less painful) than having tough conversations, seeing a marriage counselor, or leaving.⁠
⁠
Some of us stay in a job that doesn’t let us use our strengths because it’s safer than going for the job that comes with more responsibility.⁠
⁠
And some of us have dreams that get put on the “someday” list, even though for most, “someday” usually turns into “never.”⁠
⁠
We don’t read the books we shoved in the back of the bookshelf, right? They collect dust, forgotten about.⁠
⁠
The change puts us out of our comfort zone.⁠
⁠
The comfort zone is safer to stay in, it’s true.⁠
⁠
It’s a place to settle, not to thrive.⁠
⁠
When we settle, we forget how to be hungry for things we want. Better relationships. More purpose in our work. More joy and pleasure in our lives.⁠
⁠
When we forget how it FEELS to be hungry, we settle for whatever is on the table.⁠
 ⁠
I want you to get hungry because I promise you, if you’re settling, your new life is worth the cost of the old one.⁠
⁠
Once you take a bite into your new life, you will realize the cost is worth paying.⁠
⁠
What are you hungry for, friend?⁠
⁠
If this post hits a nerve and you’re interested in chatting about how I can support you in coaching - taking those “someday” goals off the dusty-ass shelf and start working toward them today, DM me or write “coaching” in the comments. I’ll send you a link to book a discovery chat.⁠
⁠
Sending you support, hugs, and a nudge - might now be a great time to spring clean your life?⁠

Alexis
When I read this quote from Brianna Wiest’s The Mountain Is You, it immediately got my attention.⁠
 ⁠
If you want a different life, it’s going to cost you your old one. While that may sound simple, it’s complex.⁠
⁠
Often we don’t love how our lives look, but we’re comfortable in them.⁠
⁠
Some of us stay in an unhappy marriage because ignoring our problems is easier (and less painful) than having tough conversations, seeing a marriage counselor, or leaving.⁠
⁠
Some of us stay in a job that doesn’t let us use our strengths because it’s safer than going for the job that comes with more responsibility.⁠
⁠
And some of us have dreams that get put on the “someday” list, even though for most, “someday” usually turns into “never.”⁠
⁠
We don’t read the books we shoved in the back of the bookshelf, right? They collect dust, forgotten about.⁠
⁠
The change puts us out of our comfort zone.⁠
⁠
The comfort zone is safer to stay in, it’s true.⁠
⁠
It’s a place to settle, not to thrive.⁠
⁠
When we settle, we forget how to be hungry for things we want. Better relationships. More purpose in our work. More joy and pleasure in our lives.⁠
⁠
When we forget how it FEELS to be hungry, we settle for whatever is on the table.⁠
 ⁠
I want you to get hungry because I promise you, if you’re settling, your new life is worth the cost of the old one.⁠
⁠
Once you take a bite into your new life, you will realize the cost is worth paying.⁠
⁠
What are you hungry for, friend?⁠
⁠
If this post hits a nerve and you’re interested in chatting about how I can support you in coaching - taking those “someday” goals off the dusty-ass shelf and start working toward them today, DM me or write “coaching” in the comments. I’ll send you a link to book a discovery chat.⁠
⁠
Sending you support, hugs, and a nudge - might now be a great time to spring clean your life?⁠

Alexis
•
Follow
When I read this quote from Brianna Wiest’s The Mountain Is You, it immediately got my attention.⁠ ⁠ If you want a different life, it’s going to cost you your old one. While that may sound simple, it’s complex.⁠ ⁠ Often we don’t love how our lives look, but we’re comfortable in them.⁠ ⁠ Some of us stay in an unhappy marriage because ignoring our problems is easier (and less painful) than having tough conversations, seeing a marriage counselor, or leaving.⁠ ⁠ Some of us stay in a job that doesn’t let us use our strengths because it’s safer than going for the job that comes with more responsibility.⁠ ⁠ And some of us have dreams that get put on the “someday” list, even though for most, “someday” usually turns into “never.”⁠ ⁠ We don’t read the books we shoved in the back of the bookshelf, right? They collect dust, forgotten about.⁠ ⁠ The change puts us out of our comfort zone.⁠ ⁠ The comfort zone is safer to stay in, it’s true.⁠ ⁠ It’s a place to settle, not to thrive.⁠ ⁠ When we settle, we forget how to be hungry for things we want. Better relationships. More purpose in our work. More joy and pleasure in our lives.⁠ ⁠ When we forget how it FEELS to be hungry, we settle for whatever is on the table.⁠ ⁠ I want you to get hungry because I promise you, if you’re settling, your new life is worth the cost of the old one.⁠ ⁠ Once you take a bite into your new life, you will realize the cost is worth paying.⁠ ⁠ What are you hungry for, friend?⁠ ⁠ If this post hits a nerve and you’re interested in chatting about how I can support you in coaching - taking those “someday” goals off the dusty-ass shelf and start working toward them today, DM me or write “coaching” in the comments. I’ll send you a link to book a discovery chat.⁠ ⁠ Sending you support, hugs, and a nudge - might now be a great time to spring clean your life?⁠ Alexis
1 year ago
View on Instagram |
5/6
Are you the star of your own show or playing a supporting role?

The first time I heard of this concept, it turned me off. Right away, I thought of Mean Girls, with the star being a selfish bitch and the supporting role being the person we should aim to be. 🤣

The second time I heard it, though, it made more sense.

Being the star of the show isn’t about being the center of attention at the expense of others, but being the center of your own attention and care so you can live to your full potential.

Main characters take fantastic care of themselves and, as a result, are fantastic to be around. They encourage others to take care of themselves and lead any example.

Main characters go after what they want. That lets others see that it's possible (and the world isn’t going to fall apart) if they go after what they want, too.

Main characters don’t deny themselves joy or feel guilty for feeling it.

I know I’ve played a supporting role in my life before. If you know my loud, leopard-print-wearing ass personally, you might disagree, haha, but I wasn’t always bringing the main character energy to life.

The good lotion and fancy candles were only for special occasions. I didn’t wear things I loved because I didn’t feel thin enough to be “allowed” to wear them. 

But last night I went on a hot date with my man and wore a dress I love that fits my current body. I ate what I wanted and didn’t feel bad about it. I had fun, laughed, and flirted with Eric and it was a perfect night. I was full-on leading lady.

I wish main character me could go back and tell the past, supporting role me she is allowed to enjoy her life fully and go after what she wants.

Not when she’s earned it. Not when she’s good enough. Not when she’s smart enough.

Because she deserves it.

We all do.

It’s never too late to be the main character, friend.

What’s one area of your life you’re feeling like you’re showing up in the supporting role?

What would happen if you just showed up as the main character? What could be possible for you?

Sending you hugs, standing ovations, and permission to wear the expensive perfume you’ve been saving for a special occasion…(today is a special occasion)

Alexis
•
Follow
Are you the star of your own show or playing a supporting role? The first time I heard of this concept, it turned me off. Right away, I thought of Mean Girls, with the star being a selfish bitch and the supporting role being the person we should aim to be. 🤣 The second time I heard it, though, it made more sense. Being the star of the show isn’t about being the center of attention at the expense of others, but being the center of your own attention and care so you can live to your full potential. Main characters take fantastic care of themselves and, as a result, are fantastic to be around. They encourage others to take care of themselves and lead any example. Main characters go after what they want. That lets others see that it's possible (and the world isn’t going to fall apart) if they go after what they want, too. Main characters don’t deny themselves joy or feel guilty for feeling it. I know I’ve played a supporting role in my life before. If you know my loud, leopard-print-wearing ass personally, you might disagree, haha, but I wasn’t always bringing the main character energy to life. The good lotion and fancy candles were only for special occasions. I didn’t wear things I loved because I didn’t feel thin enough to be “allowed” to wear them. But last night I went on a hot date with my man and wore a dress I love that fits my current body. I ate what I wanted and didn’t feel bad about it. I had fun, laughed, and flirted with Eric and it was a perfect night. I was full-on leading lady. I wish main character me could go back and tell the past, supporting role me she is allowed to enjoy her life fully and go after what she wants. Not when she’s earned it. Not when she’s good enough. Not when she’s smart enough. Because she deserves it. We all do. It’s never too late to be the main character, friend. What’s one area of your life you’re feeling like you’re showing up in the supporting role? What would happen if you just showed up as the main character? What could be possible for you? Sending you hugs, standing ovations, and permission to wear the expensive perfume you’ve been saving for a special occasion…(today is a special occasion) Alexis
1 year ago
View on Instagram |
6/6
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