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Alexis Buhrman

Goals, Inspiration, Life Coaching
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December 25, 2021

Why Planners Won’t Always Help You Achieve Your Goals

If you’re a high-achievers like me, you LOVE buying printed planners. 

I used to obsess over which ones to get because there were too many gorgeous planners to choose from. Some years I’d end up with three!

I bought them every January, but by March they were collecting dust on a shelf and completely forgotten about…until December when I’d find them in the planner graveyard.

Who can relate? Raise your hand if you too have a planner graveyard and feel a little guilty every December when you see these sad, beautiful, empty planners going into the recycling bin.

It’s awful, right?

It’s like finding really good leftovers in the back of the fridge that your spouse said they were going to eat and you wanted them, but you didn’t eat them because they weren’t yours –  but then they forgot about them and they went bad- and you’re like DAMN IT!

Tell me in the comments if you get me! 

Planners don’t work for everyone. For a long time, they didn’t work for me and I couldn’t figure out why. 

I was always pretty organized, and I could get things done, but there was something about using a planner I could not stick to it even when I knew it would help me.

I’ve talked with a lot of friends, many who are like GOAL GETTERS and even though they’re doing amazing things, they struggle to consistently use planners, too.

Here’s what I’ve learned about why planners won’t always help you achieve your goals. 

It has nothing to do with planners or apps. 

If you’re not a person who can stick to using a planner to achieve your goals, it’s because you don’t have the identity of a person who uses planners.

Let me explain. 

If you’re an highly-active person and you work out everyday at the same time, that’s part of your identity. You identify as an active person with a consistent schedule. It’s just a part of who you are. 

So if you set a goal to do something new – like train for a marathon – you’re going to have less resistance than someone who doesn’t have the identity of a highly-active or consistent person. 

Running a marathon may not be easy, but it will FEEL like an easier goal to accomplish because you are used to having a schedule.

You’re already active – you’re not starting from day one, right? So your goal aligns with your identity. 

On the flip side, if you’re like me and you go for walks or hikes when you feel like it and do yoga here and there, you may not have a habit of sticking to the same schedule and you may not be highly-active. 

You might struggle to achieve the goal of running a marathon if it requires consistent daily actions. Not because you’re lazy or lack willpower, but because you don’t have the identity of that person.

And if you don’t ever feel like you have the identity of an active person, you might run the marathon, be like THANK GOD I’m done, then never do it again. (this is me)

By now you can probably tell that this video isn’t really about sticking to planners – but sticking to ANYTHING you struggle to be consistent with when it comes to achieving your goals.

Most people are very good at certain things. Even if those things are difficult, they know with 100% confidence they can get them done. They don’t feel that resistance, they just do them. Doing them is likely a habit. 

Think about brushing your teeth. How often do you fight with yourself over brushing your teeth? You don’t! You just do it because it’s a habit and because you’ve done it a million times. You’re confident you can get it done. 

The problem is that most people assume that since they are able to do some things that require consistency, work and discipline, they should be able to do ALL things that require work and discipline.

So they try to do something that requires them to have the identity they don’t yet have, they fail, and what happens?

What happens when you think if you put it on the calendar, if you stick to a schedule, if you just do what you’re told to do, it will work and then you fail? 

You feel like shit, right? It sucks! 

If you’ve found yourself just slaying some of your goals, but really struggling with other ones and you’re thinking “What am I doing wrong? Why isn’t this working?” you might have more success if you pause those goals and focus on changing your identity to BECOME the type of person who can achieve those goals. 

Instead of diving in to doing something you’ve never done before, like using a planner you can’t stick to or running a marathon, what if instead you figured out how people who do these things successfully operate? 

What are they doing right? What habits do they have? Who do they need to be to achieve these goals? 

Are they disciplined? Do they commit to a schedule? Are they organized? What skills do they have?

My friends who run successful online businesses are disciplined and organized. They have also invested in learning how to manage a team, copywriting, marketing strategies. Skills they need to be successful.

My friends who prioritize eating nutritious food are committed and consistent. They have the skills of knowing how to cook, planning out their menus, budget shopping and meal prepping once a week. 

Before you even start thinking about your New Year’s Resolutions, especially if you’ve failed in the past, consider this.

What if your only goal this year was to skip the “traditional” New Year’s Resolutions and work toward becoming the person you need to be to achieve your most meaningful goals?

How would your life be different a year from now if your only goal was to become a person with the identity needed to change your life? 

Fake it til you make it, friends. We can become whoever we choose to be with consistency and repetition, until we’re not faking it anymore.

Let’s start with a simple example like drinking more water. Something that many people don’t do. 

Maybe your goal is to have better overall health, and instead of hopping on the toxic weight loss train or trying to drastically change all your current habits, you picked one healthy habit to start with, like drinking more water.  

If you get into the habit of carrying a water bottle around with you all day long, after 60-90 days it will be like brushing your teeth. You’ll just do it on auto-pilot because you’ll have the identity of a person who drinks a lot of water. 

If you want to quit drinking soda, and replace soda with water, after 60-90 days, you’ll have the identity of someone who doesn’t drink soda. 

I think New Year’s resolutions pressure us to make way too many changes all at once, which is a recipe for disaster. And they don’t take into consideration the fact that ALL people don’t have the same identity.

Some goals will be hard for some people and easy for others. Some people will need more more time to achieve them because they need to change their identity.

We overestimate what we can accomplish in a day and we underestimate what we can accomplish in a year.

I’m sure you’ve heard people say it takes 21 days to create a habit. 

That might be true for people that already have the identity of someone who would easily have that habit, but for people that don’t – that 21 days is not enough and that habit isn’t going to stick long-term. 

Like using a planner until February and never again after that…

If you’re thinking about your goals for the new year and beyond, and you really want to be successful, focus on who you need to be to achieve those goals. 

Give yourself at least 60-90 days – you’ll know you’re on the right track when it either starts to feel easy or you’re not resisting it. 

If you truly want to achieve your goal, take all the time you need. Imagine what could be different in your life a year from now if you stuck with it consistently?

I am wishing you the best of luck!

Want my BEST, most affordable program to support to help you create a life you love? Enroll in my DIY vision and goal-setting course, The 48-Hour Planning Retreat™!

Want to feel more confident in your clothes? Let’s find your personal style and build your Main Character Closet™!

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I have something to celebrate. Something that has taken what seems like forever. A sweet ending and a new beginning.
 
For the last 13-ish months, I've been waiting for my Trademark applications to be approved. If you're unfamiliar, applying for and registering a trademark is a long process.
 
I wanted ownership of the name of my style program, Main Character Closet™, and I also wanted ALL of my products and services to be renamed and branded under the "main character" umbrella.
 
Since 2019, The 48-Hour Planning Retreat™, my vision and goal-setting online course, has been my signature program. Many people have gone through the course and go back to it year after year to dream and plan for the life they always wanted, all in a weekend. 
 
I'm proud of this program. Writing, recording, designing, and publishing took a whole year! A freaking YEAR! 
 
And now I'm retiring the course. 😮

I'm creating a new program, adding new content, and rebranding/redesigning/renaming The 48-Hour Planning Retreat™ to Main Character Year™.
 
I'm officially in the final stages of trademark approval and want to celebrate with a special retirement discount of $200 off the original course.
 
I've never offered a discount on the program, and this is the lowest price it's ever been. If you use your discount code, here's what you'll pay:
 
⭐ Standard Course Price: $297 (was $497)
 
⭐ VIP Upgrade Course Price, which includes the course and 90-minute coaching session with me): $597 (was $797)
 
And to make the program even more accessible, I now offer payment plans through Affirm and AfterPay on ALL my programs, products, and services. They range from 0% interest for 4 payments, to extended plans.
 
What do you want more of in your life by the end of 2023? In 2024? This program can help you get clear on what you want and the feel-good steps to make it happen. Because I want you to create a life that makes you feel like the main character.
 
If you've been waiting to enroll in my program, this is the absolute best time at the lowest price.
 
Enroll now (link in bio) and use code 48HOUR200OFF at checkout: https://alexis-buhrman.mykajabi.com/48HRPR

Here's to new beginnings!
alexisbcoaching
alexisbcoaching
•
Follow
I have something to celebrate. Something that has taken what seems like forever. A sweet ending and a new beginning. For the last 13-ish months, I've been waiting for my Trademark applications to be approved. If you're unfamiliar, applying for and registering a trademark is a long process. I wanted ownership of the name of my style program, Main Character Closet™, and I also wanted ALL of my products and services to be renamed and branded under the "main character" umbrella. Since 2019, The 48-Hour Planning Retreat™, my vision and goal-setting online course, has been my signature program. Many people have gone through the course and go back to it year after year to dream and plan for the life they always wanted, all in a weekend. I'm proud of this program. Writing, recording, designing, and publishing took a whole year! A freaking YEAR! And now I'm retiring the course. 😮 I'm creating a new program, adding new content, and rebranding/redesigning/renaming The 48-Hour Planning Retreat™ to Main Character Year™. I'm officially in the final stages of trademark approval and want to celebrate with a special retirement discount of $200 off the original course. I've never offered a discount on the program, and this is the lowest price it's ever been. If you use your discount code, here's what you'll pay: ⭐ Standard Course Price: $297 (was $497) ⭐ VIP Upgrade Course Price, which includes the course and 90-minute coaching session with me): $597 (was $797) And to make the program even more accessible, I now offer payment plans through Affirm and AfterPay on ALL my programs, products, and services. They range from 0% interest for 4 payments, to extended plans. What do you want more of in your life by the end of 2023? In 2024? This program can help you get clear on what you want and the feel-good steps to make it happen. Because I want you to create a life that makes you feel like the main character. If you've been waiting to enroll in my program, this is the absolute best time at the lowest price. Enroll now (link in bio) and use code 48HOUR200OFF at checkout: https://alexis-buhrman.mykajabi.com/48HRPR Here's to new beginnings!
18 hours ago
View on Instagram |
1/4
Should. It's a dirty, dirty word, isn't it?

People have asked me about upgrading their style game to attract more clients. I have thoughts.

Here's the thing. People judge. We're wired to do it, even if we don't realize it or have mean intentions. I do it. You do it. People are going to judge you no matter what you do.

Knowing that people judge, some people choose to upgrade their style and image to make a statement to potential clients. Some people are programmed from their former corporate roles to dress for the job you want, not the one you've got.

Some people feel pressured to dress a certain way and push back. It makes them angry. If you're good at what you do, who cares what you wear?!

Instead of asking, "Should I Dress Nicer in My Business to Attract More Clients?" here are two different questions:

What impression do you want to make?

How can your style reflect that in a way that feels good to you?

It can feel like a total slog if you're focused on dressing for others rather than yourself. You might feel resentful or angry.

When I work with clients, I want them to know that they can make a statement with their style without changing who they are to do it. It doesn't (and shouldn't) have to feel like a "should."

Here's what I want you to know:

You can have a great style that feels easy.

You can have a great style that fits your budget.

You can have great style in the body you have right now.

You can have great style for your own joy and pleasure and one that makes the impression YOU want it to.

You can have great style and be comfortable.

You can have great style that doesn't feel like a "should."

Personal style is PERSONAL, and I help my clients find one that checks all their preference boxes, doesn't feel like a "should," and makes them feel confident. So they can show up on camera, on stage, or at their next in-person event feeling like the main damn character in their clothes.

If you need help in this area, I want to work with you. Send me a message, and let's book a call.

If you want to learn more before we chat, visit www.maincharactercloset.com for all the program details and pricing/payment plan options. Link in bio.
alexisbcoaching
alexisbcoaching
•
Follow
Should. It's a dirty, dirty word, isn't it? People have asked me about upgrading their style game to attract more clients. I have thoughts. Here's the thing. People judge. We're wired to do it, even if we don't realize it or have mean intentions. I do it. You do it. People are going to judge you no matter what you do. Knowing that people judge, some people choose to upgrade their style and image to make a statement to potential clients. Some people are programmed from their former corporate roles to dress for the job you want, not the one you've got. Some people feel pressured to dress a certain way and push back. It makes them angry. If you're good at what you do, who cares what you wear?! Instead of asking, "Should I Dress Nicer in My Business to Attract More Clients?" here are two different questions: What impression do you want to make? How can your style reflect that in a way that feels good to you? It can feel like a total slog if you're focused on dressing for others rather than yourself. You might feel resentful or angry. When I work with clients, I want them to know that they can make a statement with their style without changing who they are to do it. It doesn't (and shouldn't) have to feel like a "should." Here's what I want you to know: You can have a great style that feels easy. You can have a great style that fits your budget. You can have great style in the body you have right now. You can have great style for your own joy and pleasure and one that makes the impression YOU want it to. You can have great style and be comfortable. You can have great style that doesn't feel like a "should." Personal style is PERSONAL, and I help my clients find one that checks all their preference boxes, doesn't feel like a "should," and makes them feel confident. So they can show up on camera, on stage, or at their next in-person event feeling like the main damn character in their clothes. If you need help in this area, I want to work with you. Send me a message, and let's book a call. If you want to learn more before we chat, visit www.maincharactercloset.com for all the program details and pricing/payment plan options. Link in bio.
5 days ago
View on Instagram |
2/4
Why are we still doing this?⁠
⁠
I met someone on Zoom recently - a new connection in my network. I felt we didn’t really hit it off. No big deal, right?⁠
⁠
On the call, we shared what we both do, and they told me they’re authentic because they don’t wear any makeup. They were the “real deal.” At the time, I clearly was wearing my signature liquid black eyeliner…because that's my thing and I will be buried in it. 🤣 Not really. I rarely wear makeup anymore, but if I do, it's black liquid eyeliner for the win.⁠
⁠
The convo got me thinking, I’ve read a few comments online recently, shaming people and labeling them as "fake" for dying their hair, doing their nails, wearing certain styles of clothing, or getting hair extensions.⁠
⁠
Just throwing this out there: if it's genuine to you, it's authentic. Personal style is personal. Just because I don’t do my nails, doesn’t mean I judge other people who do, or label them as less authentic. Other people's style choices are none of my business.⁠
⁠
I touch up my roots not because I’m “inauthentic” but because I like the aesthetic of my dark hair. That’s a part of my personal style that I currently enjoy.⁠
⁠
I understand how the patriarchy has impacted women and programmed them (us) with the message that we’re only as good as our appearance. We are judged by how we look. Women already have to deal with that judgment from culture at large, do we need it from other women, too?⁠
⁠
I know that how we look can become an obsession for some. Even when I see that in others, they’re still people. Who am I to judge them?⁠
⁠
I work with and style a lot of different people, and none of them deserved to be shamed or labeled as inauthentic, no matter their reasons for adornment. That's none of my business.⁠
⁠
What is my business is how we work together.⁠
⁠
My hope is that we can shift any focus on dressing/adorning for others to a focus on personal joy, comfort and pleasure. Letting personal enjoyment and how my clients want to feel be the guide and dropping things that don’t align with that goal and those feelings.⁠
⁠
And just throwing this out there. You can still dye your hair. You are welcome here.⁠
⁠
Thoughts?
alexisbcoaching
alexisbcoaching
•
Follow
Why are we still doing this?⁠ ⁠ I met someone on Zoom recently - a new connection in my network. I felt we didn’t really hit it off. No big deal, right?⁠ ⁠ On the call, we shared what we both do, and they told me they’re authentic because they don’t wear any makeup. They were the “real deal.” At the time, I clearly was wearing my signature liquid black eyeliner…because that's my thing and I will be buried in it. 🤣 Not really. I rarely wear makeup anymore, but if I do, it's black liquid eyeliner for the win.⁠ ⁠ The convo got me thinking, I’ve read a few comments online recently, shaming people and labeling them as "fake" for dying their hair, doing their nails, wearing certain styles of clothing, or getting hair extensions.⁠ ⁠ Just throwing this out there: if it's genuine to you, it's authentic. Personal style is personal. Just because I don’t do my nails, doesn’t mean I judge other people who do, or label them as less authentic. Other people's style choices are none of my business.⁠ ⁠ I touch up my roots not because I’m “inauthentic” but because I like the aesthetic of my dark hair. That’s a part of my personal style that I currently enjoy.⁠ ⁠ I understand how the patriarchy has impacted women and programmed them (us) with the message that we’re only as good as our appearance. We are judged by how we look. Women already have to deal with that judgment from culture at large, do we need it from other women, too?⁠ ⁠ I know that how we look can become an obsession for some. Even when I see that in others, they’re still people. Who am I to judge them?⁠ ⁠ I work with and style a lot of different people, and none of them deserved to be shamed or labeled as inauthentic, no matter their reasons for adornment. That's none of my business.⁠ ⁠ What is my business is how we work together.⁠ ⁠ My hope is that we can shift any focus on dressing/adorning for others to a focus on personal joy, comfort and pleasure. Letting personal enjoyment and how my clients want to feel be the guide and dropping things that don’t align with that goal and those feelings.⁠ ⁠ And just throwing this out there. You can still dye your hair. You are welcome here.⁠ ⁠ Thoughts?
6 days ago
View on Instagram |
3/4
What ERA are you in?

I'm in a group coaching program, and the coach asked us this question. She wanted us to chose the ERA we want to be in at this moment in our lives.

I decided that this is my VIP ERA. Not VIP in terms of money, but in how I show up for myself and treat myself like a VIP.

This looks like asking myself:

Is what I’m doing or thinking treating myself like a VIP? Do my thoughts and actions feel like business class? Economy class? Or worse, not even on the plane because I don’t have a ticket?!

This week, that looked like asking myself:

Is drinking another cup of coffee how I’d treat myself as a VIP or does my body really need water?

Is sitting at the desk all day (because I can) treating myself like a VIP or do I need to take more breaks?

Is working late (because I love this project) really good for me, or do I need to log off and get a good night's sleep?

I like asking these questions because they don’t feel like an attack or criticism. They feel in alignment with my ERA. It’s looking at different areas of my life and identifying which ones I want to improve.

I shared this exercise with another group of friends, and several identified that their clothes did not make them feel like VIPs. That was the area that needed improvement.

There's research that shows that what we wear can influence our mood. No shocker there. You just feel good when you're wearing something you love - even jeans and a t-shirt.

A lot of my clients have been waiting to lose weight before they buy clothes, because they think losing weight will make them feel better.

But I argue that when you start treating yourself like a VIP and dressing the body you have now, THAT will make you feel better. That will increase your confidence and joy.

And when you feel even a little bit better about yourself, and treat yourself like a VIP, it will give you that boost of motivation to look at all the ways you can treat yourself like a VIP.

If you’re ready to find a style you love and upgrade your closet, I would love to spend 30 days with you, helping you achieve your goals.

You can find all the details at www.maincharactercloset.com - link in bio. Or send me a DM!
alexisbcoaching
alexisbcoaching
•
Follow
What ERA are you in? I'm in a group coaching program, and the coach asked us this question. She wanted us to chose the ERA we want to be in at this moment in our lives. I decided that this is my VIP ERA. Not VIP in terms of money, but in how I show up for myself and treat myself like a VIP. This looks like asking myself: Is what I’m doing or thinking treating myself like a VIP? Do my thoughts and actions feel like business class? Economy class? Or worse, not even on the plane because I don’t have a ticket?! This week, that looked like asking myself: Is drinking another cup of coffee how I’d treat myself as a VIP or does my body really need water? Is sitting at the desk all day (because I can) treating myself like a VIP or do I need to take more breaks? Is working late (because I love this project) really good for me, or do I need to log off and get a good night's sleep? I like asking these questions because they don’t feel like an attack or criticism. They feel in alignment with my ERA. It’s looking at different areas of my life and identifying which ones I want to improve. I shared this exercise with another group of friends, and several identified that their clothes did not make them feel like VIPs. That was the area that needed improvement. There's research that shows that what we wear can influence our mood. No shocker there. You just feel good when you're wearing something you love - even jeans and a t-shirt. A lot of my clients have been waiting to lose weight before they buy clothes, because they think losing weight will make them feel better. But I argue that when you start treating yourself like a VIP and dressing the body you have now, THAT will make you feel better. That will increase your confidence and joy. And when you feel even a little bit better about yourself, and treat yourself like a VIP, it will give you that boost of motivation to look at all the ways you can treat yourself like a VIP. If you’re ready to find a style you love and upgrade your closet, I would love to spend 30 days with you, helping you achieve your goals. You can find all the details at www.maincharactercloset.com - link in bio. Or send me a DM!
1 month ago
View on Instagram |
4/4

Categories

  • Business
  • Confidence
  • Goals
  • Inspiration
  • Life Coaching
  • Motivation
  • Personal Brand
  • Personal Style
  • Uncategorized

@alexisbcoaching

I have something to celebrate. Something that has taken what seems like forever. A sweet ending and a new beginning.
 
For the last 13-ish months, I've been waiting for my Trademark applications to be approved. If you're unfamiliar, applying for and registering a trademark is a long process.
 
I wanted ownership of the name of my style program, Main Character Closet™, and I also wanted ALL of my products and services to be renamed and branded under the "main character" umbrella.
 
Since 2019, The 48-Hour Planning Retreat™, my vision and goal-setting online course, has been my signature program. Many people have gone through the course and go back to it year after year to dream and plan for the life they always wanted, all in a weekend. 
 
I'm proud of this program. Writing, recording, designing, and publishing took a whole year! A freaking YEAR! 
 
And now I'm retiring the course. 😮

I'm creating a new program, adding new content, and rebranding/redesigning/renaming The 48-Hour Planning Retreat™ to Main Character Year™.
 
I'm officially in the final stages of trademark approval and want to celebrate with a special retirement discount of $200 off the original course.
 
I've never offered a discount on the program, and this is the lowest price it's ever been. If you use your discount code, here's what you'll pay:
 
⭐ Standard Course Price: $297 (was $497)
 
⭐ VIP Upgrade Course Price, which includes the course and 90-minute coaching session with me): $597 (was $797)
 
And to make the program even more accessible, I now offer payment plans through Affirm and AfterPay on ALL my programs, products, and services. They range from 0% interest for 4 payments, to extended plans.
 
What do you want more of in your life by the end of 2023? In 2024? This program can help you get clear on what you want and the feel-good steps to make it happen. Because I want you to create a life that makes you feel like the main character.
 
If you've been waiting to enroll in my program, this is the absolute best time at the lowest price.
 
Enroll now (link in bio) and use code 48HOUR200OFF at checkout: https://alexis-buhrman.mykajabi.com/48HRPR

Here's to new beginnings!
alexisbcoaching
alexisbcoaching
•
Follow
I have something to celebrate. Something that has taken what seems like forever. A sweet ending and a new beginning. For the last 13-ish months, I've been waiting for my Trademark applications to be approved. If you're unfamiliar, applying for and registering a trademark is a long process. I wanted ownership of the name of my style program, Main Character Closet™, and I also wanted ALL of my products and services to be renamed and branded under the "main character" umbrella. Since 2019, The 48-Hour Planning Retreat™, my vision and goal-setting online course, has been my signature program. Many people have gone through the course and go back to it year after year to dream and plan for the life they always wanted, all in a weekend. I'm proud of this program. Writing, recording, designing, and publishing took a whole year! A freaking YEAR! And now I'm retiring the course. 😮 I'm creating a new program, adding new content, and rebranding/redesigning/renaming The 48-Hour Planning Retreat™ to Main Character Year™. I'm officially in the final stages of trademark approval and want to celebrate with a special retirement discount of $200 off the original course. I've never offered a discount on the program, and this is the lowest price it's ever been. If you use your discount code, here's what you'll pay: ⭐ Standard Course Price: $297 (was $497) ⭐ VIP Upgrade Course Price, which includes the course and 90-minute coaching session with me): $597 (was $797) And to make the program even more accessible, I now offer payment plans through Affirm and AfterPay on ALL my programs, products, and services. They range from 0% interest for 4 payments, to extended plans. What do you want more of in your life by the end of 2023? In 2024? This program can help you get clear on what you want and the feel-good steps to make it happen. Because I want you to create a life that makes you feel like the main character. If you've been waiting to enroll in my program, this is the absolute best time at the lowest price. Enroll now (link in bio) and use code 48HOUR200OFF at checkout: https://alexis-buhrman.mykajabi.com/48HRPR Here's to new beginnings!
18 hours ago
View on Instagram |
1/6
Should. It's a dirty, dirty word, isn't it?

People have asked me about upgrading their style game to attract more clients. I have thoughts.

Here's the thing. People judge. We're wired to do it, even if we don't realize it or have mean intentions. I do it. You do it. People are going to judge you no matter what you do.

Knowing that people judge, some people choose to upgrade their style and image to make a statement to potential clients. Some people are programmed from their former corporate roles to dress for the job you want, not the one you've got.

Some people feel pressured to dress a certain way and push back. It makes them angry. If you're good at what you do, who cares what you wear?!

Instead of asking, "Should I Dress Nicer in My Business to Attract More Clients?" here are two different questions:

What impression do you want to make?

How can your style reflect that in a way that feels good to you?

It can feel like a total slog if you're focused on dressing for others rather than yourself. You might feel resentful or angry.

When I work with clients, I want them to know that they can make a statement with their style without changing who they are to do it. It doesn't (and shouldn't) have to feel like a "should."

Here's what I want you to know:

You can have a great style that feels easy.

You can have a great style that fits your budget.

You can have great style in the body you have right now.

You can have great style for your own joy and pleasure and one that makes the impression YOU want it to.

You can have great style and be comfortable.

You can have great style that doesn't feel like a "should."

Personal style is PERSONAL, and I help my clients find one that checks all their preference boxes, doesn't feel like a "should," and makes them feel confident. So they can show up on camera, on stage, or at their next in-person event feeling like the main damn character in their clothes.

If you need help in this area, I want to work with you. Send me a message, and let's book a call.

If you want to learn more before we chat, visit www.maincharactercloset.com for all the program details and pricing/payment plan options. Link in bio.
alexisbcoaching
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Should. It's a dirty, dirty word, isn't it? People have asked me about upgrading their style game to attract more clients. I have thoughts. Here's the thing. People judge. We're wired to do it, even if we don't realize it or have mean intentions. I do it. You do it. People are going to judge you no matter what you do. Knowing that people judge, some people choose to upgrade their style and image to make a statement to potential clients. Some people are programmed from their former corporate roles to dress for the job you want, not the one you've got. Some people feel pressured to dress a certain way and push back. It makes them angry. If you're good at what you do, who cares what you wear?! Instead of asking, "Should I Dress Nicer in My Business to Attract More Clients?" here are two different questions: What impression do you want to make? How can your style reflect that in a way that feels good to you? It can feel like a total slog if you're focused on dressing for others rather than yourself. You might feel resentful or angry. When I work with clients, I want them to know that they can make a statement with their style without changing who they are to do it. It doesn't (and shouldn't) have to feel like a "should." Here's what I want you to know: You can have a great style that feels easy. You can have a great style that fits your budget. You can have great style in the body you have right now. You can have great style for your own joy and pleasure and one that makes the impression YOU want it to. You can have great style and be comfortable. You can have great style that doesn't feel like a "should." Personal style is PERSONAL, and I help my clients find one that checks all their preference boxes, doesn't feel like a "should," and makes them feel confident. So they can show up on camera, on stage, or at their next in-person event feeling like the main damn character in their clothes. If you need help in this area, I want to work with you. Send me a message, and let's book a call. If you want to learn more before we chat, visit www.maincharactercloset.com for all the program details and pricing/payment plan options. Link in bio.
5 days ago
View on Instagram |
2/6
Why are we still doing this?⁠
⁠
I met someone on Zoom recently - a new connection in my network. I felt we didn’t really hit it off. No big deal, right?⁠
⁠
On the call, we shared what we both do, and they told me they’re authentic because they don’t wear any makeup. They were the “real deal.” At the time, I clearly was wearing my signature liquid black eyeliner…because that's my thing and I will be buried in it. 🤣 Not really. I rarely wear makeup anymore, but if I do, it's black liquid eyeliner for the win.⁠
⁠
The convo got me thinking, I’ve read a few comments online recently, shaming people and labeling them as "fake" for dying their hair, doing their nails, wearing certain styles of clothing, or getting hair extensions.⁠
⁠
Just throwing this out there: if it's genuine to you, it's authentic. Personal style is personal. Just because I don’t do my nails, doesn’t mean I judge other people who do, or label them as less authentic. Other people's style choices are none of my business.⁠
⁠
I touch up my roots not because I’m “inauthentic” but because I like the aesthetic of my dark hair. That’s a part of my personal style that I currently enjoy.⁠
⁠
I understand how the patriarchy has impacted women and programmed them (us) with the message that we’re only as good as our appearance. We are judged by how we look. Women already have to deal with that judgment from culture at large, do we need it from other women, too?⁠
⁠
I know that how we look can become an obsession for some. Even when I see that in others, they’re still people. Who am I to judge them?⁠
⁠
I work with and style a lot of different people, and none of them deserved to be shamed or labeled as inauthentic, no matter their reasons for adornment. That's none of my business.⁠
⁠
What is my business is how we work together.⁠
⁠
My hope is that we can shift any focus on dressing/adorning for others to a focus on personal joy, comfort and pleasure. Letting personal enjoyment and how my clients want to feel be the guide and dropping things that don’t align with that goal and those feelings.⁠
⁠
And just throwing this out there. You can still dye your hair. You are welcome here.⁠
⁠
Thoughts?
alexisbcoaching
alexisbcoaching
•
Follow
Why are we still doing this?⁠ ⁠ I met someone on Zoom recently - a new connection in my network. I felt we didn’t really hit it off. No big deal, right?⁠ ⁠ On the call, we shared what we both do, and they told me they’re authentic because they don’t wear any makeup. They were the “real deal.” At the time, I clearly was wearing my signature liquid black eyeliner…because that's my thing and I will be buried in it. 🤣 Not really. I rarely wear makeup anymore, but if I do, it's black liquid eyeliner for the win.⁠ ⁠ The convo got me thinking, I’ve read a few comments online recently, shaming people and labeling them as "fake" for dying their hair, doing their nails, wearing certain styles of clothing, or getting hair extensions.⁠ ⁠ Just throwing this out there: if it's genuine to you, it's authentic. Personal style is personal. Just because I don’t do my nails, doesn’t mean I judge other people who do, or label them as less authentic. Other people's style choices are none of my business.⁠ ⁠ I touch up my roots not because I’m “inauthentic” but because I like the aesthetic of my dark hair. That’s a part of my personal style that I currently enjoy.⁠ ⁠ I understand how the patriarchy has impacted women and programmed them (us) with the message that we’re only as good as our appearance. We are judged by how we look. Women already have to deal with that judgment from culture at large, do we need it from other women, too?⁠ ⁠ I know that how we look can become an obsession for some. Even when I see that in others, they’re still people. Who am I to judge them?⁠ ⁠ I work with and style a lot of different people, and none of them deserved to be shamed or labeled as inauthentic, no matter their reasons for adornment. That's none of my business.⁠ ⁠ What is my business is how we work together.⁠ ⁠ My hope is that we can shift any focus on dressing/adorning for others to a focus on personal joy, comfort and pleasure. Letting personal enjoyment and how my clients want to feel be the guide and dropping things that don’t align with that goal and those feelings.⁠ ⁠ And just throwing this out there. You can still dye your hair. You are welcome here.⁠ ⁠ Thoughts?
6 days ago
View on Instagram |
3/6
What ERA are you in?

I'm in a group coaching program, and the coach asked us this question. She wanted us to chose the ERA we want to be in at this moment in our lives.

I decided that this is my VIP ERA. Not VIP in terms of money, but in how I show up for myself and treat myself like a VIP.

This looks like asking myself:

Is what I’m doing or thinking treating myself like a VIP? Do my thoughts and actions feel like business class? Economy class? Or worse, not even on the plane because I don’t have a ticket?!

This week, that looked like asking myself:

Is drinking another cup of coffee how I’d treat myself as a VIP or does my body really need water?

Is sitting at the desk all day (because I can) treating myself like a VIP or do I need to take more breaks?

Is working late (because I love this project) really good for me, or do I need to log off and get a good night's sleep?

I like asking these questions because they don’t feel like an attack or criticism. They feel in alignment with my ERA. It’s looking at different areas of my life and identifying which ones I want to improve.

I shared this exercise with another group of friends, and several identified that their clothes did not make them feel like VIPs. That was the area that needed improvement.

There's research that shows that what we wear can influence our mood. No shocker there. You just feel good when you're wearing something you love - even jeans and a t-shirt.

A lot of my clients have been waiting to lose weight before they buy clothes, because they think losing weight will make them feel better.

But I argue that when you start treating yourself like a VIP and dressing the body you have now, THAT will make you feel better. That will increase your confidence and joy.

And when you feel even a little bit better about yourself, and treat yourself like a VIP, it will give you that boost of motivation to look at all the ways you can treat yourself like a VIP.

If you’re ready to find a style you love and upgrade your closet, I would love to spend 30 days with you, helping you achieve your goals.

You can find all the details at www.maincharactercloset.com - link in bio. Or send me a DM!
alexisbcoaching
alexisbcoaching
•
Follow
What ERA are you in? I'm in a group coaching program, and the coach asked us this question. She wanted us to chose the ERA we want to be in at this moment in our lives. I decided that this is my VIP ERA. Not VIP in terms of money, but in how I show up for myself and treat myself like a VIP. This looks like asking myself: Is what I’m doing or thinking treating myself like a VIP? Do my thoughts and actions feel like business class? Economy class? Or worse, not even on the plane because I don’t have a ticket?! This week, that looked like asking myself: Is drinking another cup of coffee how I’d treat myself as a VIP or does my body really need water? Is sitting at the desk all day (because I can) treating myself like a VIP or do I need to take more breaks? Is working late (because I love this project) really good for me, or do I need to log off and get a good night's sleep? I like asking these questions because they don’t feel like an attack or criticism. They feel in alignment with my ERA. It’s looking at different areas of my life and identifying which ones I want to improve. I shared this exercise with another group of friends, and several identified that their clothes did not make them feel like VIPs. That was the area that needed improvement. There's research that shows that what we wear can influence our mood. No shocker there. You just feel good when you're wearing something you love - even jeans and a t-shirt. A lot of my clients have been waiting to lose weight before they buy clothes, because they think losing weight will make them feel better. But I argue that when you start treating yourself like a VIP and dressing the body you have now, THAT will make you feel better. That will increase your confidence and joy. And when you feel even a little bit better about yourself, and treat yourself like a VIP, it will give you that boost of motivation to look at all the ways you can treat yourself like a VIP. If you’re ready to find a style you love and upgrade your closet, I would love to spend 30 days with you, helping you achieve your goals. You can find all the details at www.maincharactercloset.com - link in bio. Or send me a DM!
1 month ago
View on Instagram |
4/6
Hi. I'm Alexis. If you're new here, welcome to the lazy style party!⁠
⁠
I'm a size-inclusive style coach. I teach women of all shapes and sizes how to find and shop for their style and turn random items into beautiful outfits with ease - so they can save time and money and feel confident in their clothes.⁠
⁠
My clients come to me when they are long overdue for a closet upgrade.⁠
⁠
They WANT to be comfortable, NEED to get dressed quickly and LONG to look put together and cute – whether it’s on Zoom, on stage, or picking up kids from school.⁠
⁠
I created Main Character Closet™ FOR YOU! Here's how it works:⁠
⁠
We meet over Zoom and spend half a day together finding your style - one that reflects who you are and the story you want to tell through your clothes: professional, put-together, confident, qualified, creative, or just damn keeewwwwwtttt!⁠
⁠
I handpick 15-20 PAGES of items and brands based on your style goals, body and budget, and we'll spend 30 days together trying things on and shopping the winners. You can email and text me photos of your shopping cart before you buy, or take me with you while you shop!⁠
⁠
I'll teach you how to put items you already have, and new ones you purchase together, so you have a closet full of grab-and-go outfits to wear.⁠
⁠
You'll walk away feeling confident that you can shop for yourself, but if you ever feel stuck, your VIP Day includes a follow-up Zoom call, so you can really put what you learn into practice with my support.⁠
⁠
Imagine how good it will feel to finally have a closet full of clothes that make you feel like the main damn character!⁠
⁠
If your closet needs a little love or a full-on exorcism, I’ve got you. And this is going to be fun!⁠
⁠
I'm filling up for 2023 because the holidays are around the corner. I know, it's only August, but I recommend clients give themselves plenty of time to shop and get things altered if needed, so this is an enjoyable, stress-free process.⁠
⁠
If you're interested, send me a message and let's chat. You can also get all the details and transparent pricing on my website at www.maincharactercloset.com⁠
⁠
Cheers and glad to have you here!
alexisbcoaching
alexisbcoaching
•
Follow
Hi. I'm Alexis. If you're new here, welcome to the lazy style party!⁠ ⁠ I'm a size-inclusive style coach. I teach women of all shapes and sizes how to find and shop for their style and turn random items into beautiful outfits with ease - so they can save time and money and feel confident in their clothes.⁠ ⁠ My clients come to me when they are long overdue for a closet upgrade.⁠ ⁠ They WANT to be comfortable, NEED to get dressed quickly and LONG to look put together and cute – whether it’s on Zoom, on stage, or picking up kids from school.⁠ ⁠ I created Main Character Closet™ FOR YOU! Here's how it works:⁠ ⁠ We meet over Zoom and spend half a day together finding your style - one that reflects who you are and the story you want to tell through your clothes: professional, put-together, confident, qualified, creative, or just damn keeewwwwwtttt!⁠ ⁠ I handpick 15-20 PAGES of items and brands based on your style goals, body and budget, and we'll spend 30 days together trying things on and shopping the winners. You can email and text me photos of your shopping cart before you buy, or take me with you while you shop!⁠ ⁠ I'll teach you how to put items you already have, and new ones you purchase together, so you have a closet full of grab-and-go outfits to wear.⁠ ⁠ You'll walk away feeling confident that you can shop for yourself, but if you ever feel stuck, your VIP Day includes a follow-up Zoom call, so you can really put what you learn into practice with my support.⁠ ⁠ Imagine how good it will feel to finally have a closet full of clothes that make you feel like the main damn character!⁠ ⁠ If your closet needs a little love or a full-on exorcism, I’ve got you. And this is going to be fun!⁠ ⁠ I'm filling up for 2023 because the holidays are around the corner. I know, it's only August, but I recommend clients give themselves plenty of time to shop and get things altered if needed, so this is an enjoyable, stress-free process.⁠ ⁠ If you're interested, send me a message and let's chat. You can also get all the details and transparent pricing on my website at www.maincharactercloset.com⁠ ⁠ Cheers and glad to have you here!
1 month ago
View on Instagram |
5/6
Feeling Frumpy...⁠
⁠
When I work with clients in my Personal Style program, Main Character Closet™, the first step in the process is the prework. ⁠
⁠
One of the questionnaires asks them to describe how they currently feel about their style.⁠
⁠
And guess what word I see, time and again?⁠
⁠
FRUMPY.⁠
⁠
Hey, I get it! Lots of my clients were working from home during the pandemic. Some people I’ve worked with put on some weight and have resisted buying new clothes.

Some haven’t bought new clothes in years and everything needs an upgrade. The one word they use to describe how they feel that they all have in common is “frumpy.⁠”
⁠
If you can relate, I want to work with you and help you find a style and clothes you love, in the body you have now. ❤️
⁠
How would it FEEL to:⁠
⁠
✅ Have a complete, head-to-toe closet overhaul in the next month?⁠

✅ Spend 4 hours with me finally finding a style you absolutely love, however you define it?⁠
⁠
✅ Have me pick you curated clothing and brands that fit your body, budget and style goals?⁠
⁠
✅ Get 30 days of email and text support as you shop and try things on and a 60-minute Zoom follow-up call to turn all those purchases into grab-and-go outfits?
⁠
I have a handful of VIP day spots available in the next few months and if you think you’d like to snag one, send me a DM and let’s talk.⁠

Or visit www.maincharactercloset.com - all the program details and pricing are outlined there. Link in bio.
⁠
I would love to help you find a style that makes you feel like the main damn character!
Feeling Frumpy...⁠
⁠
When I work with clients in my Personal Style program, Main Character Closet™, the first step in the process is the prework. ⁠
⁠
One of the questionnaires asks them to describe how they currently feel about their style.⁠
⁠
And guess what word I see, time and again?⁠
⁠
FRUMPY.⁠
⁠
Hey, I get it! Lots of my clients were working from home during the pandemic. Some people I’ve worked with put on some weight and have resisted buying new clothes.

Some haven’t bought new clothes in years and everything needs an upgrade. The one word they use to describe how they feel that they all have in common is “frumpy.⁠”
⁠
If you can relate, I want to work with you and help you find a style and clothes you love, in the body you have now. ❤️
⁠
How would it FEEL to:⁠
⁠
✅ Have a complete, head-to-toe closet overhaul in the next month?⁠

✅ Spend 4 hours with me finally finding a style you absolutely love, however you define it?⁠
⁠
✅ Have me pick you curated clothing and brands that fit your body, budget and style goals?⁠
⁠
✅ Get 30 days of email and text support as you shop and try things on and a 60-minute Zoom follow-up call to turn all those purchases into grab-and-go outfits?
⁠
I have a handful of VIP day spots available in the next few months and if you think you’d like to snag one, send me a DM and let’s talk.⁠

Or visit www.maincharactercloset.com - all the program details and pricing are outlined there. Link in bio.
⁠
I would love to help you find a style that makes you feel like the main damn character!
alexisbcoaching
alexisbcoaching
•
Follow
Feeling Frumpy...⁠ ⁠ When I work with clients in my Personal Style program, Main Character Closet™, the first step in the process is the prework. ⁠ ⁠ One of the questionnaires asks them to describe how they currently feel about their style.⁠ ⁠ And guess what word I see, time and again?⁠ ⁠ FRUMPY.⁠ ⁠ Hey, I get it! Lots of my clients were working from home during the pandemic. Some people I’ve worked with put on some weight and have resisted buying new clothes. Some haven’t bought new clothes in years and everything needs an upgrade. The one word they use to describe how they feel that they all have in common is “frumpy.⁠” ⁠ If you can relate, I want to work with you and help you find a style and clothes you love, in the body you have now. ❤️ ⁠ How would it FEEL to:⁠ ⁠ ✅ Have a complete, head-to-toe closet overhaul in the next month?⁠ ✅ Spend 4 hours with me finally finding a style you absolutely love, however you define it?⁠ ⁠ ✅ Have me pick you curated clothing and brands that fit your body, budget and style goals?⁠ ⁠ ✅ Get 30 days of email and text support as you shop and try things on and a 60-minute Zoom follow-up call to turn all those purchases into grab-and-go outfits? ⁠ I have a handful of VIP day spots available in the next few months and if you think you’d like to snag one, send me a DM and let’s talk.⁠ Or visit www.maincharactercloset.com - all the program details and pricing are outlined there. Link in bio. ⁠ I would love to help you find a style that makes you feel like the main damn character!
1 month ago
View on Instagram |
6/6
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