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Alexis Buhrman

Goals, Inspiration, Life Coaching
/
December 25, 2021

Why Planners Won’t Always Help You Achieve Your Goals

If you’re a high-achievers like me, you LOVE buying printed planners. 

I used to obsess over which ones to get because there were too many gorgeous planners to choose from. Some years I’d end up with three!

I bought them every January, but by March they were collecting dust on a shelf and completely forgotten about…until December when I’d find them in the planner graveyard.

Who can relate? Raise your hand if you too have a planner graveyard and feel a little guilty every December when you see these sad, beautiful, empty planners going into the recycling bin.

It’s awful, right?

It’s like finding really good leftovers in the back of the fridge that your spouse said they were going to eat and you wanted them, but you didn’t eat them because they weren’t yours –  but then they forgot about them and they went bad- and you’re like DAMN IT!

Tell me in the comments if you get me! 

Planners don’t work for everyone. For a long time, they didn’t work for me and I couldn’t figure out why. 

I was always pretty organized, and I could get things done, but there was something about using a planner I could not stick to it even when I knew it would help me.

I’ve talked with a lot of friends, many who are like GOAL GETTERS and even though they’re doing amazing things, they struggle to consistently use planners, too.

Here’s what I’ve learned about why planners won’t always help you achieve your goals. 

It has nothing to do with planners or apps. 

If you’re not a person who can stick to using a planner to achieve your goals, it’s because you don’t have the identity of a person who uses planners.

Let me explain. 

If you’re an highly-active person and you work out everyday at the same time, that’s part of your identity. You identify as an active person with a consistent schedule. It’s just a part of who you are. 

So if you set a goal to do something new – like train for a marathon – you’re going to have less resistance than someone who doesn’t have the identity of a highly-active or consistent person. 

Running a marathon may not be easy, but it will FEEL like an easier goal to accomplish because you are used to having a schedule.

You’re already active – you’re not starting from day one, right? So your goal aligns with your identity. 

On the flip side, if you’re like me and you go for walks or hikes when you feel like it and do yoga here and there, you may not have a habit of sticking to the same schedule and you may not be highly-active. 

You might struggle to achieve the goal of running a marathon if it requires consistent daily actions. Not because you’re lazy or lack willpower, but because you don’t have the identity of that person.

And if you don’t ever feel like you have the identity of an active person, you might run the marathon, be like THANK GOD I’m done, then never do it again. (this is me)

By now you can probably tell that this video isn’t really about sticking to planners – but sticking to ANYTHING you struggle to be consistent with when it comes to achieving your goals.

Most people are very good at certain things. Even if those things are difficult, they know with 100% confidence they can get them done. They don’t feel that resistance, they just do them. Doing them is likely a habit. 

Think about brushing your teeth. How often do you fight with yourself over brushing your teeth? You don’t! You just do it because it’s a habit and because you’ve done it a million times. You’re confident you can get it done. 

The problem is that most people assume that since they are able to do some things that require consistency, work and discipline, they should be able to do ALL things that require work and discipline.

So they try to do something that requires them to have the identity they don’t yet have, they fail, and what happens?

What happens when you think if you put it on the calendar, if you stick to a schedule, if you just do what you’re told to do, it will work and then you fail? 

You feel like shit, right? It sucks! 

If you’ve found yourself just slaying some of your goals, but really struggling with other ones and you’re thinking “What am I doing wrong? Why isn’t this working?” you might have more success if you pause those goals and focus on changing your identity to BECOME the type of person who can achieve those goals. 

Instead of diving in to doing something you’ve never done before, like using a planner you can’t stick to or running a marathon, what if instead you figured out how people who do these things successfully operate? 

What are they doing right? What habits do they have? Who do they need to be to achieve these goals? 

Are they disciplined? Do they commit to a schedule? Are they organized? What skills do they have?

My friends who run successful online businesses are disciplined and organized. They have also invested in learning how to manage a team, copywriting, marketing strategies. Skills they need to be successful.

My friends who prioritize eating nutritious food are committed and consistent. They have the skills of knowing how to cook, planning out their menus, budget shopping and meal prepping once a week. 

Before you even start thinking about your New Year’s Resolutions, especially if you’ve failed in the past, consider this.

What if your only goal this year was to skip the “traditional” New Year’s Resolutions and work toward becoming the person you need to be to achieve your most meaningful goals?

How would your life be different a year from now if your only goal was to become a person with the identity needed to change your life? 

Fake it til you make it, friends. We can become whoever we choose to be with consistency and repetition, until we’re not faking it anymore.

Let’s start with a simple example like drinking more water. Something that many people don’t do. 

Maybe your goal is to have better overall health, and instead of hopping on the toxic weight loss train or trying to drastically change all your current habits, you picked one healthy habit to start with, like drinking more water.  

If you get into the habit of carrying a water bottle around with you all day long, after 60-90 days it will be like brushing your teeth. You’ll just do it on auto-pilot because you’ll have the identity of a person who drinks a lot of water. 

If you want to quit drinking soda, and replace soda with water, after 60-90 days, you’ll have the identity of someone who doesn’t drink soda. 

I think New Year’s resolutions pressure us to make way too many changes all at once, which is a recipe for disaster. And they don’t take into consideration the fact that ALL people don’t have the same identity.

Some goals will be hard for some people and easy for others. Some people will need more more time to achieve them because they need to change their identity.

We overestimate what we can accomplish in a day and we underestimate what we can accomplish in a year.

I’m sure you’ve heard people say it takes 21 days to create a habit. 

That might be true for people that already have the identity of someone who would easily have that habit, but for people that don’t – that 21 days is not enough and that habit isn’t going to stick long-term. 

Like using a planner until February and never again after that…

If you’re thinking about your goals for the new year and beyond, and you really want to be successful, focus on who you need to be to achieve those goals. 

Give yourself at least 60-90 days – you’ll know you’re on the right track when it either starts to feel easy or you’re not resisting it. 

If you truly want to achieve your goal, take all the time you need. Imagine what could be different in your life a year from now if you stuck with it consistently?

I am wishing you the best of luck!

Want my BEST, most affordable program to support to help you create a life you love? Enroll in my DIY vision and goal-setting course, The 48-Hour Planning Retreat™!

Want to feel more confident in your clothes? Let’s find your personal style and build your Main Character Closet™!

TAGS:Goal-settingLife Coaching Tips
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What’s your pain threshold on a scale of 1-10?

When I was home last month, I saw many of my oldest friends.
 
We talked about real-life stuff. Stuff we've struggled with, or are currently working through.
 
From alcoholism to smoking, stress eating to relationship struggles, everything was on the table.
 
What we all have in common is that we all have our own sabotages and ways of coping with life.
 
What we don't have in common is the exact timeline for when we are willing and/or able to change them.
 
People have different pain thresholds.
 
Some people can tolerate lots of pain. They can suffer in unhappiness for years. Think of people you know who've been in miserable marriages for decades.
 
Some people, like myself, tolerate little. My threshold is low. Not because I can't handle pain, but because I want to address issues before they become a big deal and I revert back to old Alexis and deal with my shit with a pack of Virginia Slim Light 120s and a bottle of Hendricks...
 
If you are tolerating things in your life that you want to change, here are some questions you can ask yourself:
 
1. Where do you rate your pain threshold on a 1-10, 1 being low tolerance and ten being highest?
 
2. Would that rating be the same if you were in the same place a year from now?
 
3. For how long, or under what circumstances are you willing to tolerate this issue?
 
4. What do you gain out of staying in the current situation?
 
5. And lastly, what number do you think you'd need to be at to finally be driven to make a change?
 
For me, it's a 2-3, max. It depends on the situation and its pros and cons.

For example, I'm tolerating that I can't have any damn plants in my house because I have cats that are complete assholes. But, I love these assholes, so a plantless life is something I am willing to tolerate...begrudgingly...
 
You may be tolerating something, but there are some reasons that make it work for you, too. Until you decide it doesn't anymore.
 
If you're below a five on the threshold scale and want to talk about what a change might look like and how I could help you, let’s talk.
 
Whatever your thoughts or fears, change is possible, and I am here for you.
•
Follow
What’s your pain threshold on a scale of 1-10? When I was home last month, I saw many of my oldest friends. We talked about real-life stuff. Stuff we've struggled with, or are currently working through. From alcoholism to smoking, stress eating to relationship struggles, everything was on the table. What we all have in common is that we all have our own sabotages and ways of coping with life. What we don't have in common is the exact timeline for when we are willing and/or able to change them. People have different pain thresholds. Some people can tolerate lots of pain. They can suffer in unhappiness for years. Think of people you know who've been in miserable marriages for decades. Some people, like myself, tolerate little. My threshold is low. Not because I can't handle pain, but because I want to address issues before they become a big deal and I revert back to old Alexis and deal with my shit with a pack of Virginia Slim Light 120s and a bottle of Hendricks... If you are tolerating things in your life that you want to change, here are some questions you can ask yourself: 1. Where do you rate your pain threshold on a 1-10, 1 being low tolerance and ten being highest? 2. Would that rating be the same if you were in the same place a year from now? 3. For how long, or under what circumstances are you willing to tolerate this issue? 4. What do you gain out of staying in the current situation? 5. And lastly, what number do you think you'd need to be at to finally be driven to make a change? For me, it's a 2-3, max. It depends on the situation and its pros and cons. For example, I'm tolerating that I can't have any damn plants in my house because I have cats that are complete assholes. But, I love these assholes, so a plantless life is something I am willing to tolerate...begrudgingly... You may be tolerating something, but there are some reasons that make it work for you, too. Until you decide it doesn't anymore. If you're below a five on the threshold scale and want to talk about what a change might look like and how I could help you, let’s talk. Whatever your thoughts or fears, change is possible, and I am here for you.
9 months ago
View on Instagram |
1/4
The first six months of the year are officially over. WHAT?! WHERE?! HOW?! 🤣

Maybe you started 2022 with goals for the year and you're making progress. Awesome! Maybe you're feeling behind.

Maybe you didn’t give a damn about goals because, you know, America is basically on fire…

You know me. I'm all about evaluating things in a non-judgmental, curious way: what's working, what isn't, and what am I going to do about it.

If you feel like evaluating where you're at today, now could be a great time to get started.

If you haven't made the progress you hoped for at the start of the year, this could be a great opportunity to get curious about why, so you can start making shifts and changes.

If 2022 hasn't been what you hoped, that's okay. Let's focus on today and what is possible moving forward.

Where would you like to be on New Year's Eve six months from now?

Who do you hope to be?

How do you want to feel?

What do you hope would be different between then and now?

If you are ready to take action and need support, I would love to work with you.

In April, I launched a beta run for my new program. Participants spent two days with me in a virtual retreat, getting crystal clear on the life they wanted to create and their goals, LIVE in my online course, The 48-Hour Planning Retreat™.

I took feedback, refined the process, and expanded the program to provide more support, and now I'm relaunching it – my beta 2.0.

❌  If you feel stuck and you're not getting the outcomes you want, this program may be right for you.

❌  If you missed the last round and don't want to miss out this time, this program may be right for you.

❌  If you have been trying to make changes, but they're not working, and you need to shake things up and try something different, this program may be right for you.

Enrollment and space are limited because of the intimacy and personalization of the program. I have spots open now through September.

Interested in learning more? DM me or Comment “BETA” and I’ll send you an outline of what you get, and if you’re still interested, a link to book a no-pressure discovery call.

I would be honored to work with you through the rest of this year!
•
Follow
The first six months of the year are officially over. WHAT?! WHERE?! HOW?! 🤣 Maybe you started 2022 with goals for the year and you're making progress. Awesome! Maybe you're feeling behind. Maybe you didn’t give a damn about goals because, you know, America is basically on fire… You know me. I'm all about evaluating things in a non-judgmental, curious way: what's working, what isn't, and what am I going to do about it. If you feel like evaluating where you're at today, now could be a great time to get started. If you haven't made the progress you hoped for at the start of the year, this could be a great opportunity to get curious about why, so you can start making shifts and changes. If 2022 hasn't been what you hoped, that's okay. Let's focus on today and what is possible moving forward. Where would you like to be on New Year's Eve six months from now? Who do you hope to be? How do you want to feel? What do you hope would be different between then and now? If you are ready to take action and need support, I would love to work with you. In April, I launched a beta run for my new program. Participants spent two days with me in a virtual retreat, getting crystal clear on the life they wanted to create and their goals, LIVE in my online course, The 48-Hour Planning Retreat™. I took feedback, refined the process, and expanded the program to provide more support, and now I'm relaunching it – my beta 2.0. ❌ If you feel stuck and you're not getting the outcomes you want, this program may be right for you. ❌ If you missed the last round and don't want to miss out this time, this program may be right for you. ❌ If you have been trying to make changes, but they're not working, and you need to shake things up and try something different, this program may be right for you. Enrollment and space are limited because of the intimacy and personalization of the program. I have spots open now through September. Interested in learning more? DM me or Comment “BETA” and I’ll send you an outline of what you get, and if you’re still interested, a link to book a no-pressure discovery call. I would be honored to work with you through the rest of this year!
9 months ago
View on Instagram |
2/4
Jim Hopper is my boyfriend. 😘⁠
⁠
I love Stranger Things. I counted down the days to the season 4 drop, and it did not disappoint. The soundtrack was fantastic. The acting and writing were stellar.⁠
⁠
And then there was Jim Hopper.⁠
⁠
Friend, I have a mad crush on David Harbour. If Alexis has a "type," it's his role as Jim Hopper.⁠
⁠
✅ Amazing dance moves⁠
✅ 6’3” with a haaaaawwwwwtttt dad bod + cop uniform⁠
✅ Looking like a SNACK⁠
✅ Saves the damn day⁠
⁠
Hopper is the stuff my fantasies are made of. 🤣⁠
⁠
Without giving away spoilers, Hopper goes through several transformations/evolutions throughout the show.⁠
⁠
We see his backstory and how he copes with life.⁠
⁠
My therapist calls coping mechanisms "pressure valves," and I think it's a great way to describe how people cope with stress - with understanding and without judgment.⁠
⁠
Had a hard day? Pull on your personal brand of pressure valve = release pressure.⁠
⁠
For some, that's alcohol. For others, it’s online shopping, porn, gambling, or numbing out.⁠
⁠
For me, it used to be smoking.⁠
⁠
It's how I dealt with stress and trauma before I had other resources. Even as an adult, it was my go-to pressure valve.⁠
⁠
I'm talking to people right now about how they are dealing with the layers of compounding trauma from the last few years. If you’re in the U.S., it feels like there is a crisis almost daily these days.⁠
⁠
We aren't meant to deal with chronic stress, so we look for ways to cope and release the pressure of life.⁠
⁠
Everyone has a different pressure valve.⁠
⁠
Like my boyfriend, Jim Hopper, we can get through hard times.⁠
⁠
We can find ways to release the pressures that are helpful, not harmful.⁠
⁠
Wherever you are right now, and however you're coping with life, I see you.⁠
⁠
If you're over-drinking, hiding boxes of online orders from your spouse, or numbing out on social media, I accept you without judgment.⁠
⁠
And, as always, I'm here for you.⁠
⁠
Sending you high-fives and 80s vibes, ⁠
⁠
Alexis
•
Follow
Jim Hopper is my boyfriend. 😘⁠ ⁠ I love Stranger Things. I counted down the days to the season 4 drop, and it did not disappoint. The soundtrack was fantastic. The acting and writing were stellar.⁠ ⁠ And then there was Jim Hopper.⁠ ⁠ Friend, I have a mad crush on David Harbour. If Alexis has a "type," it's his role as Jim Hopper.⁠ ⁠ ✅ Amazing dance moves⁠ ✅ 6’3” with a haaaaawwwwwtttt dad bod + cop uniform⁠ ✅ Looking like a SNACK⁠ ✅ Saves the damn day⁠ ⁠ Hopper is the stuff my fantasies are made of. 🤣⁠ ⁠ Without giving away spoilers, Hopper goes through several transformations/evolutions throughout the show.⁠ ⁠ We see his backstory and how he copes with life.⁠ ⁠ My therapist calls coping mechanisms "pressure valves," and I think it's a great way to describe how people cope with stress - with understanding and without judgment.⁠ ⁠ Had a hard day? Pull on your personal brand of pressure valve = release pressure.⁠ ⁠ For some, that's alcohol. For others, it’s online shopping, porn, gambling, or numbing out.⁠ ⁠ For me, it used to be smoking.⁠ ⁠ It's how I dealt with stress and trauma before I had other resources. Even as an adult, it was my go-to pressure valve.⁠ ⁠ I'm talking to people right now about how they are dealing with the layers of compounding trauma from the last few years. If you’re in the U.S., it feels like there is a crisis almost daily these days.⁠ ⁠ We aren't meant to deal with chronic stress, so we look for ways to cope and release the pressure of life.⁠ ⁠ Everyone has a different pressure valve.⁠ ⁠ Like my boyfriend, Jim Hopper, we can get through hard times.⁠ ⁠ We can find ways to release the pressures that are helpful, not harmful.⁠ ⁠ Wherever you are right now, and however you're coping with life, I see you.⁠ ⁠ If you're over-drinking, hiding boxes of online orders from your spouse, or numbing out on social media, I accept you without judgment.⁠ ⁠ And, as always, I'm here for you.⁠ ⁠ Sending you high-fives and 80s vibes, ⁠ ⁠ Alexis
9 months ago
View on Instagram |
3/4
If you don't want to read about "lady business" and cat buttholes, keep scrolling. 🤣⁠
⁠
I have THE WORST cramps. I always have. For two days, I'm destroyed.⁠
⁠
Eric knows the drill...that THIS IS NOT A DRILL!⁠
⁠
☑️ All cats on deck!⁠
⁠
☑️ Electric hot pad at all times!⁠
⁠
☑️ Blankets!⁠
⁠
☑️ Totino's pizza!⁠
⁠
☑️ Box of tissue because I will cry for two days at literally anything. If a squirrel is playing in the front yard or we're out of Totino's pizza. TEARS! ⁠
⁠
When I worked in advertising, it was rough. It's hard to find a gap to take 2-3 days off for vacation. Certainly not every month.⁠
⁠
While I love that more and more amazing companies are providing unlimited menstrual leave, it's not a standard. But that's a rant for another day… ⁠
⁠
Taking off these couple of days every month is one of the most significant benefits of starting my own business.⁠
⁠
Other unexpected benefits are having time to see family and friends more than 1-2x a year and sleeping as long as I need.⁠
⁠
I don't have to commute. I set my schedule to start later in the morning. If I need to, I can sleep a little later.⁠
⁠
I know this is a privilege since I don't have kids. Still, it was a benefit I purposefully identified as something I wanted when I left advertising, after more than a decade of terrible insomnia. ⁠
⁠
These benefits might not be what comes to mind when you imagine what "living your best life" looks like. They don't make for insta-worthy photos!⁠
⁠
But I think these little benefits make my life richer and give me more energy for those insta-worthy goals.⁠
⁠
Traveling is great, but IDK…sleeping in with Eric and morning snuggles are pretty great, too. (And then, of course, the cats because the SECOND I wake up, their radars go off, and there they are, on the bed, butts up in my face.)⁠
⁠
Literally over here, just waking up to three cat buttholes, living my best damn life!⁠
⁠
Buttholes aside, what are some simple benefits you could enjoy in your life if you said yes to something you want?⁠
⁠
If you feel like sharing, let me know in the comments. 👇🏻⁠
⁠
Sending you high-fives, snuggle vibes, and thanks if you stayed for all the lady business and cat butthole content!
•
Follow
If you don't want to read about "lady business" and cat buttholes, keep scrolling. 🤣⁠ ⁠ I have THE WORST cramps. I always have. For two days, I'm destroyed.⁠ ⁠ Eric knows the drill...that THIS IS NOT A DRILL!⁠ ⁠ ☑️ All cats on deck!⁠ ⁠ ☑️ Electric hot pad at all times!⁠ ⁠ ☑️ Blankets!⁠ ⁠ ☑️ Totino's pizza!⁠ ⁠ ☑️ Box of tissue because I will cry for two days at literally anything. If a squirrel is playing in the front yard or we're out of Totino's pizza. TEARS! ⁠ ⁠ When I worked in advertising, it was rough. It's hard to find a gap to take 2-3 days off for vacation. Certainly not every month.⁠ ⁠ While I love that more and more amazing companies are providing unlimited menstrual leave, it's not a standard. But that's a rant for another day… ⁠ ⁠ Taking off these couple of days every month is one of the most significant benefits of starting my own business.⁠ ⁠ Other unexpected benefits are having time to see family and friends more than 1-2x a year and sleeping as long as I need.⁠ ⁠ I don't have to commute. I set my schedule to start later in the morning. If I need to, I can sleep a little later.⁠ ⁠ I know this is a privilege since I don't have kids. Still, it was a benefit I purposefully identified as something I wanted when I left advertising, after more than a decade of terrible insomnia. ⁠ ⁠ These benefits might not be what comes to mind when you imagine what "living your best life" looks like. They don't make for insta-worthy photos!⁠ ⁠ But I think these little benefits make my life richer and give me more energy for those insta-worthy goals.⁠ ⁠ Traveling is great, but IDK…sleeping in with Eric and morning snuggles are pretty great, too. (And then, of course, the cats because the SECOND I wake up, their radars go off, and there they are, on the bed, butts up in my face.)⁠ ⁠ Literally over here, just waking up to three cat buttholes, living my best damn life!⁠ ⁠ Buttholes aside, what are some simple benefits you could enjoy in your life if you said yes to something you want?⁠ ⁠ If you feel like sharing, let me know in the comments. 👇🏻⁠ ⁠ Sending you high-fives, snuggle vibes, and thanks if you stayed for all the lady business and cat butthole content!
10 months ago
View on Instagram |
4/4

Categories

  • Goals
  • Inspiration
  • Life Coaching
  • Motivation
  • Uncategorized

@alexisbcoaching

What’s your pain threshold on a scale of 1-10?

When I was home last month, I saw many of my oldest friends.
 
We talked about real-life stuff. Stuff we've struggled with, or are currently working through.
 
From alcoholism to smoking, stress eating to relationship struggles, everything was on the table.
 
What we all have in common is that we all have our own sabotages and ways of coping with life.
 
What we don't have in common is the exact timeline for when we are willing and/or able to change them.
 
People have different pain thresholds.
 
Some people can tolerate lots of pain. They can suffer in unhappiness for years. Think of people you know who've been in miserable marriages for decades.
 
Some people, like myself, tolerate little. My threshold is low. Not because I can't handle pain, but because I want to address issues before they become a big deal and I revert back to old Alexis and deal with my shit with a pack of Virginia Slim Light 120s and a bottle of Hendricks...
 
If you are tolerating things in your life that you want to change, here are some questions you can ask yourself:
 
1. Where do you rate your pain threshold on a 1-10, 1 being low tolerance and ten being highest?
 
2. Would that rating be the same if you were in the same place a year from now?
 
3. For how long, or under what circumstances are you willing to tolerate this issue?
 
4. What do you gain out of staying in the current situation?
 
5. And lastly, what number do you think you'd need to be at to finally be driven to make a change?
 
For me, it's a 2-3, max. It depends on the situation and its pros and cons.

For example, I'm tolerating that I can't have any damn plants in my house because I have cats that are complete assholes. But, I love these assholes, so a plantless life is something I am willing to tolerate...begrudgingly...
 
You may be tolerating something, but there are some reasons that make it work for you, too. Until you decide it doesn't anymore.
 
If you're below a five on the threshold scale and want to talk about what a change might look like and how I could help you, let’s talk.
 
Whatever your thoughts or fears, change is possible, and I am here for you.
•
Follow
What’s your pain threshold on a scale of 1-10? When I was home last month, I saw many of my oldest friends. We talked about real-life stuff. Stuff we've struggled with, or are currently working through. From alcoholism to smoking, stress eating to relationship struggles, everything was on the table. What we all have in common is that we all have our own sabotages and ways of coping with life. What we don't have in common is the exact timeline for when we are willing and/or able to change them. People have different pain thresholds. Some people can tolerate lots of pain. They can suffer in unhappiness for years. Think of people you know who've been in miserable marriages for decades. Some people, like myself, tolerate little. My threshold is low. Not because I can't handle pain, but because I want to address issues before they become a big deal and I revert back to old Alexis and deal with my shit with a pack of Virginia Slim Light 120s and a bottle of Hendricks... If you are tolerating things in your life that you want to change, here are some questions you can ask yourself: 1. Where do you rate your pain threshold on a 1-10, 1 being low tolerance and ten being highest? 2. Would that rating be the same if you were in the same place a year from now? 3. For how long, or under what circumstances are you willing to tolerate this issue? 4. What do you gain out of staying in the current situation? 5. And lastly, what number do you think you'd need to be at to finally be driven to make a change? For me, it's a 2-3, max. It depends on the situation and its pros and cons. For example, I'm tolerating that I can't have any damn plants in my house because I have cats that are complete assholes. But, I love these assholes, so a plantless life is something I am willing to tolerate...begrudgingly... You may be tolerating something, but there are some reasons that make it work for you, too. Until you decide it doesn't anymore. If you're below a five on the threshold scale and want to talk about what a change might look like and how I could help you, let’s talk. Whatever your thoughts or fears, change is possible, and I am here for you.
9 months ago
View on Instagram |
1/6
The first six months of the year are officially over. WHAT?! WHERE?! HOW?! 🤣

Maybe you started 2022 with goals for the year and you're making progress. Awesome! Maybe you're feeling behind.

Maybe you didn’t give a damn about goals because, you know, America is basically on fire…

You know me. I'm all about evaluating things in a non-judgmental, curious way: what's working, what isn't, and what am I going to do about it.

If you feel like evaluating where you're at today, now could be a great time to get started.

If you haven't made the progress you hoped for at the start of the year, this could be a great opportunity to get curious about why, so you can start making shifts and changes.

If 2022 hasn't been what you hoped, that's okay. Let's focus on today and what is possible moving forward.

Where would you like to be on New Year's Eve six months from now?

Who do you hope to be?

How do you want to feel?

What do you hope would be different between then and now?

If you are ready to take action and need support, I would love to work with you.

In April, I launched a beta run for my new program. Participants spent two days with me in a virtual retreat, getting crystal clear on the life they wanted to create and their goals, LIVE in my online course, The 48-Hour Planning Retreat™.

I took feedback, refined the process, and expanded the program to provide more support, and now I'm relaunching it – my beta 2.0.

❌  If you feel stuck and you're not getting the outcomes you want, this program may be right for you.

❌  If you missed the last round and don't want to miss out this time, this program may be right for you.

❌  If you have been trying to make changes, but they're not working, and you need to shake things up and try something different, this program may be right for you.

Enrollment and space are limited because of the intimacy and personalization of the program. I have spots open now through September.

Interested in learning more? DM me or Comment “BETA” and I’ll send you an outline of what you get, and if you’re still interested, a link to book a no-pressure discovery call.

I would be honored to work with you through the rest of this year!
•
Follow
The first six months of the year are officially over. WHAT?! WHERE?! HOW?! 🤣 Maybe you started 2022 with goals for the year and you're making progress. Awesome! Maybe you're feeling behind. Maybe you didn’t give a damn about goals because, you know, America is basically on fire… You know me. I'm all about evaluating things in a non-judgmental, curious way: what's working, what isn't, and what am I going to do about it. If you feel like evaluating where you're at today, now could be a great time to get started. If you haven't made the progress you hoped for at the start of the year, this could be a great opportunity to get curious about why, so you can start making shifts and changes. If 2022 hasn't been what you hoped, that's okay. Let's focus on today and what is possible moving forward. Where would you like to be on New Year's Eve six months from now? Who do you hope to be? How do you want to feel? What do you hope would be different between then and now? If you are ready to take action and need support, I would love to work with you. In April, I launched a beta run for my new program. Participants spent two days with me in a virtual retreat, getting crystal clear on the life they wanted to create and their goals, LIVE in my online course, The 48-Hour Planning Retreat™. I took feedback, refined the process, and expanded the program to provide more support, and now I'm relaunching it – my beta 2.0. ❌ If you feel stuck and you're not getting the outcomes you want, this program may be right for you. ❌ If you missed the last round and don't want to miss out this time, this program may be right for you. ❌ If you have been trying to make changes, but they're not working, and you need to shake things up and try something different, this program may be right for you. Enrollment and space are limited because of the intimacy and personalization of the program. I have spots open now through September. Interested in learning more? DM me or Comment “BETA” and I’ll send you an outline of what you get, and if you’re still interested, a link to book a no-pressure discovery call. I would be honored to work with you through the rest of this year!
9 months ago
View on Instagram |
2/6
Jim Hopper is my boyfriend. 😘⁠
⁠
I love Stranger Things. I counted down the days to the season 4 drop, and it did not disappoint. The soundtrack was fantastic. The acting and writing were stellar.⁠
⁠
And then there was Jim Hopper.⁠
⁠
Friend, I have a mad crush on David Harbour. If Alexis has a "type," it's his role as Jim Hopper.⁠
⁠
✅ Amazing dance moves⁠
✅ 6’3” with a haaaaawwwwwtttt dad bod + cop uniform⁠
✅ Looking like a SNACK⁠
✅ Saves the damn day⁠
⁠
Hopper is the stuff my fantasies are made of. 🤣⁠
⁠
Without giving away spoilers, Hopper goes through several transformations/evolutions throughout the show.⁠
⁠
We see his backstory and how he copes with life.⁠
⁠
My therapist calls coping mechanisms "pressure valves," and I think it's a great way to describe how people cope with stress - with understanding and without judgment.⁠
⁠
Had a hard day? Pull on your personal brand of pressure valve = release pressure.⁠
⁠
For some, that's alcohol. For others, it’s online shopping, porn, gambling, or numbing out.⁠
⁠
For me, it used to be smoking.⁠
⁠
It's how I dealt with stress and trauma before I had other resources. Even as an adult, it was my go-to pressure valve.⁠
⁠
I'm talking to people right now about how they are dealing with the layers of compounding trauma from the last few years. If you’re in the U.S., it feels like there is a crisis almost daily these days.⁠
⁠
We aren't meant to deal with chronic stress, so we look for ways to cope and release the pressure of life.⁠
⁠
Everyone has a different pressure valve.⁠
⁠
Like my boyfriend, Jim Hopper, we can get through hard times.⁠
⁠
We can find ways to release the pressures that are helpful, not harmful.⁠
⁠
Wherever you are right now, and however you're coping with life, I see you.⁠
⁠
If you're over-drinking, hiding boxes of online orders from your spouse, or numbing out on social media, I accept you without judgment.⁠
⁠
And, as always, I'm here for you.⁠
⁠
Sending you high-fives and 80s vibes, ⁠
⁠
Alexis
•
Follow
Jim Hopper is my boyfriend. 😘⁠ ⁠ I love Stranger Things. I counted down the days to the season 4 drop, and it did not disappoint. The soundtrack was fantastic. The acting and writing were stellar.⁠ ⁠ And then there was Jim Hopper.⁠ ⁠ Friend, I have a mad crush on David Harbour. If Alexis has a "type," it's his role as Jim Hopper.⁠ ⁠ ✅ Amazing dance moves⁠ ✅ 6’3” with a haaaaawwwwwtttt dad bod + cop uniform⁠ ✅ Looking like a SNACK⁠ ✅ Saves the damn day⁠ ⁠ Hopper is the stuff my fantasies are made of. 🤣⁠ ⁠ Without giving away spoilers, Hopper goes through several transformations/evolutions throughout the show.⁠ ⁠ We see his backstory and how he copes with life.⁠ ⁠ My therapist calls coping mechanisms "pressure valves," and I think it's a great way to describe how people cope with stress - with understanding and without judgment.⁠ ⁠ Had a hard day? Pull on your personal brand of pressure valve = release pressure.⁠ ⁠ For some, that's alcohol. For others, it’s online shopping, porn, gambling, or numbing out.⁠ ⁠ For me, it used to be smoking.⁠ ⁠ It's how I dealt with stress and trauma before I had other resources. Even as an adult, it was my go-to pressure valve.⁠ ⁠ I'm talking to people right now about how they are dealing with the layers of compounding trauma from the last few years. If you’re in the U.S., it feels like there is a crisis almost daily these days.⁠ ⁠ We aren't meant to deal with chronic stress, so we look for ways to cope and release the pressure of life.⁠ ⁠ Everyone has a different pressure valve.⁠ ⁠ Like my boyfriend, Jim Hopper, we can get through hard times.⁠ ⁠ We can find ways to release the pressures that are helpful, not harmful.⁠ ⁠ Wherever you are right now, and however you're coping with life, I see you.⁠ ⁠ If you're over-drinking, hiding boxes of online orders from your spouse, or numbing out on social media, I accept you without judgment.⁠ ⁠ And, as always, I'm here for you.⁠ ⁠ Sending you high-fives and 80s vibes, ⁠ ⁠ Alexis
9 months ago
View on Instagram |
3/6
If you don't want to read about "lady business" and cat buttholes, keep scrolling. 🤣⁠
⁠
I have THE WORST cramps. I always have. For two days, I'm destroyed.⁠
⁠
Eric knows the drill...that THIS IS NOT A DRILL!⁠
⁠
☑️ All cats on deck!⁠
⁠
☑️ Electric hot pad at all times!⁠
⁠
☑️ Blankets!⁠
⁠
☑️ Totino's pizza!⁠
⁠
☑️ Box of tissue because I will cry for two days at literally anything. If a squirrel is playing in the front yard or we're out of Totino's pizza. TEARS! ⁠
⁠
When I worked in advertising, it was rough. It's hard to find a gap to take 2-3 days off for vacation. Certainly not every month.⁠
⁠
While I love that more and more amazing companies are providing unlimited menstrual leave, it's not a standard. But that's a rant for another day… ⁠
⁠
Taking off these couple of days every month is one of the most significant benefits of starting my own business.⁠
⁠
Other unexpected benefits are having time to see family and friends more than 1-2x a year and sleeping as long as I need.⁠
⁠
I don't have to commute. I set my schedule to start later in the morning. If I need to, I can sleep a little later.⁠
⁠
I know this is a privilege since I don't have kids. Still, it was a benefit I purposefully identified as something I wanted when I left advertising, after more than a decade of terrible insomnia. ⁠
⁠
These benefits might not be what comes to mind when you imagine what "living your best life" looks like. They don't make for insta-worthy photos!⁠
⁠
But I think these little benefits make my life richer and give me more energy for those insta-worthy goals.⁠
⁠
Traveling is great, but IDK…sleeping in with Eric and morning snuggles are pretty great, too. (And then, of course, the cats because the SECOND I wake up, their radars go off, and there they are, on the bed, butts up in my face.)⁠
⁠
Literally over here, just waking up to three cat buttholes, living my best damn life!⁠
⁠
Buttholes aside, what are some simple benefits you could enjoy in your life if you said yes to something you want?⁠
⁠
If you feel like sharing, let me know in the comments. 👇🏻⁠
⁠
Sending you high-fives, snuggle vibes, and thanks if you stayed for all the lady business and cat butthole content!
•
Follow
If you don't want to read about "lady business" and cat buttholes, keep scrolling. 🤣⁠ ⁠ I have THE WORST cramps. I always have. For two days, I'm destroyed.⁠ ⁠ Eric knows the drill...that THIS IS NOT A DRILL!⁠ ⁠ ☑️ All cats on deck!⁠ ⁠ ☑️ Electric hot pad at all times!⁠ ⁠ ☑️ Blankets!⁠ ⁠ ☑️ Totino's pizza!⁠ ⁠ ☑️ Box of tissue because I will cry for two days at literally anything. If a squirrel is playing in the front yard or we're out of Totino's pizza. TEARS! ⁠ ⁠ When I worked in advertising, it was rough. It's hard to find a gap to take 2-3 days off for vacation. Certainly not every month.⁠ ⁠ While I love that more and more amazing companies are providing unlimited menstrual leave, it's not a standard. But that's a rant for another day… ⁠ ⁠ Taking off these couple of days every month is one of the most significant benefits of starting my own business.⁠ ⁠ Other unexpected benefits are having time to see family and friends more than 1-2x a year and sleeping as long as I need.⁠ ⁠ I don't have to commute. I set my schedule to start later in the morning. If I need to, I can sleep a little later.⁠ ⁠ I know this is a privilege since I don't have kids. Still, it was a benefit I purposefully identified as something I wanted when I left advertising, after more than a decade of terrible insomnia. ⁠ ⁠ These benefits might not be what comes to mind when you imagine what "living your best life" looks like. They don't make for insta-worthy photos!⁠ ⁠ But I think these little benefits make my life richer and give me more energy for those insta-worthy goals.⁠ ⁠ Traveling is great, but IDK…sleeping in with Eric and morning snuggles are pretty great, too. (And then, of course, the cats because the SECOND I wake up, their radars go off, and there they are, on the bed, butts up in my face.)⁠ ⁠ Literally over here, just waking up to three cat buttholes, living my best damn life!⁠ ⁠ Buttholes aside, what are some simple benefits you could enjoy in your life if you said yes to something you want?⁠ ⁠ If you feel like sharing, let me know in the comments. 👇🏻⁠ ⁠ Sending you high-fives, snuggle vibes, and thanks if you stayed for all the lady business and cat butthole content!
10 months ago
View on Instagram |
4/6
When I read this quote from Brianna Wiest’s The Mountain Is You, it immediately got my attention.⁠
 ⁠
If you want a different life, it’s going to cost you your old one. While that may sound simple, it’s complex.⁠
⁠
Often we don’t love how our lives look, but we’re comfortable in them.⁠
⁠
Some of us stay in an unhappy marriage because ignoring our problems is easier (and less painful) than having tough conversations, seeing a marriage counselor, or leaving.⁠
⁠
Some of us stay in a job that doesn’t let us use our strengths because it’s safer than going for the job that comes with more responsibility.⁠
⁠
And some of us have dreams that get put on the “someday” list, even though for most, “someday” usually turns into “never.”⁠
⁠
We don’t read the books we shoved in the back of the bookshelf, right? They collect dust, forgotten about.⁠
⁠
The change puts us out of our comfort zone.⁠
⁠
The comfort zone is safer to stay in, it’s true.⁠
⁠
It’s a place to settle, not to thrive.⁠
⁠
When we settle, we forget how to be hungry for things we want. Better relationships. More purpose in our work. More joy and pleasure in our lives.⁠
⁠
When we forget how it FEELS to be hungry, we settle for whatever is on the table.⁠
 ⁠
I want you to get hungry because I promise you, if you’re settling, your new life is worth the cost of the old one.⁠
⁠
Once you take a bite into your new life, you will realize the cost is worth paying.⁠
⁠
What are you hungry for, friend?⁠
⁠
If this post hits a nerve and you’re interested in chatting about how I can support you in coaching - taking those “someday” goals off the dusty-ass shelf and start working toward them today, DM me or write “coaching” in the comments. I’ll send you a link to book a discovery chat.⁠
⁠
Sending you support, hugs, and a nudge - might now be a great time to spring clean your life?⁠

Alexis
When I read this quote from Brianna Wiest’s The Mountain Is You, it immediately got my attention.⁠
 ⁠
If you want a different life, it’s going to cost you your old one. While that may sound simple, it’s complex.⁠
⁠
Often we don’t love how our lives look, but we’re comfortable in them.⁠
⁠
Some of us stay in an unhappy marriage because ignoring our problems is easier (and less painful) than having tough conversations, seeing a marriage counselor, or leaving.⁠
⁠
Some of us stay in a job that doesn’t let us use our strengths because it’s safer than going for the job that comes with more responsibility.⁠
⁠
And some of us have dreams that get put on the “someday” list, even though for most, “someday” usually turns into “never.”⁠
⁠
We don’t read the books we shoved in the back of the bookshelf, right? They collect dust, forgotten about.⁠
⁠
The change puts us out of our comfort zone.⁠
⁠
The comfort zone is safer to stay in, it’s true.⁠
⁠
It’s a place to settle, not to thrive.⁠
⁠
When we settle, we forget how to be hungry for things we want. Better relationships. More purpose in our work. More joy and pleasure in our lives.⁠
⁠
When we forget how it FEELS to be hungry, we settle for whatever is on the table.⁠
 ⁠
I want you to get hungry because I promise you, if you’re settling, your new life is worth the cost of the old one.⁠
⁠
Once you take a bite into your new life, you will realize the cost is worth paying.⁠
⁠
What are you hungry for, friend?⁠
⁠
If this post hits a nerve and you’re interested in chatting about how I can support you in coaching - taking those “someday” goals off the dusty-ass shelf and start working toward them today, DM me or write “coaching” in the comments. I’ll send you a link to book a discovery chat.⁠
⁠
Sending you support, hugs, and a nudge - might now be a great time to spring clean your life?⁠

Alexis
When I read this quote from Brianna Wiest’s The Mountain Is You, it immediately got my attention.⁠
 ⁠
If you want a different life, it’s going to cost you your old one. While that may sound simple, it’s complex.⁠
⁠
Often we don’t love how our lives look, but we’re comfortable in them.⁠
⁠
Some of us stay in an unhappy marriage because ignoring our problems is easier (and less painful) than having tough conversations, seeing a marriage counselor, or leaving.⁠
⁠
Some of us stay in a job that doesn’t let us use our strengths because it’s safer than going for the job that comes with more responsibility.⁠
⁠
And some of us have dreams that get put on the “someday” list, even though for most, “someday” usually turns into “never.”⁠
⁠
We don’t read the books we shoved in the back of the bookshelf, right? They collect dust, forgotten about.⁠
⁠
The change puts us out of our comfort zone.⁠
⁠
The comfort zone is safer to stay in, it’s true.⁠
⁠
It’s a place to settle, not to thrive.⁠
⁠
When we settle, we forget how to be hungry for things we want. Better relationships. More purpose in our work. More joy and pleasure in our lives.⁠
⁠
When we forget how it FEELS to be hungry, we settle for whatever is on the table.⁠
 ⁠
I want you to get hungry because I promise you, if you’re settling, your new life is worth the cost of the old one.⁠
⁠
Once you take a bite into your new life, you will realize the cost is worth paying.⁠
⁠
What are you hungry for, friend?⁠
⁠
If this post hits a nerve and you’re interested in chatting about how I can support you in coaching - taking those “someday” goals off the dusty-ass shelf and start working toward them today, DM me or write “coaching” in the comments. I’ll send you a link to book a discovery chat.⁠
⁠
Sending you support, hugs, and a nudge - might now be a great time to spring clean your life?⁠

Alexis
•
Follow
When I read this quote from Brianna Wiest’s The Mountain Is You, it immediately got my attention.⁠ ⁠ If you want a different life, it’s going to cost you your old one. While that may sound simple, it’s complex.⁠ ⁠ Often we don’t love how our lives look, but we’re comfortable in them.⁠ ⁠ Some of us stay in an unhappy marriage because ignoring our problems is easier (and less painful) than having tough conversations, seeing a marriage counselor, or leaving.⁠ ⁠ Some of us stay in a job that doesn’t let us use our strengths because it’s safer than going for the job that comes with more responsibility.⁠ ⁠ And some of us have dreams that get put on the “someday” list, even though for most, “someday” usually turns into “never.”⁠ ⁠ We don’t read the books we shoved in the back of the bookshelf, right? They collect dust, forgotten about.⁠ ⁠ The change puts us out of our comfort zone.⁠ ⁠ The comfort zone is safer to stay in, it’s true.⁠ ⁠ It’s a place to settle, not to thrive.⁠ ⁠ When we settle, we forget how to be hungry for things we want. Better relationships. More purpose in our work. More joy and pleasure in our lives.⁠ ⁠ When we forget how it FEELS to be hungry, we settle for whatever is on the table.⁠ ⁠ I want you to get hungry because I promise you, if you’re settling, your new life is worth the cost of the old one.⁠ ⁠ Once you take a bite into your new life, you will realize the cost is worth paying.⁠ ⁠ What are you hungry for, friend?⁠ ⁠ If this post hits a nerve and you’re interested in chatting about how I can support you in coaching - taking those “someday” goals off the dusty-ass shelf and start working toward them today, DM me or write “coaching” in the comments. I’ll send you a link to book a discovery chat.⁠ ⁠ Sending you support, hugs, and a nudge - might now be a great time to spring clean your life?⁠ Alexis
1 year ago
View on Instagram |
5/6
Are you the star of your own show or playing a supporting role?

The first time I heard of this concept, it turned me off. Right away, I thought of Mean Girls, with the star being a selfish bitch and the supporting role being the person we should aim to be. 🤣

The second time I heard it, though, it made more sense.

Being the star of the show isn’t about being the center of attention at the expense of others, but being the center of your own attention and care so you can live to your full potential.

Main characters take fantastic care of themselves and, as a result, are fantastic to be around. They encourage others to take care of themselves and lead any example.

Main characters go after what they want. That lets others see that it's possible (and the world isn’t going to fall apart) if they go after what they want, too.

Main characters don’t deny themselves joy or feel guilty for feeling it.

I know I’ve played a supporting role in my life before. If you know my loud, leopard-print-wearing ass personally, you might disagree, haha, but I wasn’t always bringing the main character energy to life.

The good lotion and fancy candles were only for special occasions. I didn’t wear things I loved because I didn’t feel thin enough to be “allowed” to wear them. 

But last night I went on a hot date with my man and wore a dress I love that fits my current body. I ate what I wanted and didn’t feel bad about it. I had fun, laughed, and flirted with Eric and it was a perfect night. I was full-on leading lady.

I wish main character me could go back and tell the past, supporting role me she is allowed to enjoy her life fully and go after what she wants.

Not when she’s earned it. Not when she’s good enough. Not when she’s smart enough.

Because she deserves it.

We all do.

It’s never too late to be the main character, friend.

What’s one area of your life you’re feeling like you’re showing up in the supporting role?

What would happen if you just showed up as the main character? What could be possible for you?

Sending you hugs, standing ovations, and permission to wear the expensive perfume you’ve been saving for a special occasion…(today is a special occasion)

Alexis
•
Follow
Are you the star of your own show or playing a supporting role? The first time I heard of this concept, it turned me off. Right away, I thought of Mean Girls, with the star being a selfish bitch and the supporting role being the person we should aim to be. 🤣 The second time I heard it, though, it made more sense. Being the star of the show isn’t about being the center of attention at the expense of others, but being the center of your own attention and care so you can live to your full potential. Main characters take fantastic care of themselves and, as a result, are fantastic to be around. They encourage others to take care of themselves and lead any example. Main characters go after what they want. That lets others see that it's possible (and the world isn’t going to fall apart) if they go after what they want, too. Main characters don’t deny themselves joy or feel guilty for feeling it. I know I’ve played a supporting role in my life before. If you know my loud, leopard-print-wearing ass personally, you might disagree, haha, but I wasn’t always bringing the main character energy to life. The good lotion and fancy candles were only for special occasions. I didn’t wear things I loved because I didn’t feel thin enough to be “allowed” to wear them. But last night I went on a hot date with my man and wore a dress I love that fits my current body. I ate what I wanted and didn’t feel bad about it. I had fun, laughed, and flirted with Eric and it was a perfect night. I was full-on leading lady. I wish main character me could go back and tell the past, supporting role me she is allowed to enjoy her life fully and go after what she wants. Not when she’s earned it. Not when she’s good enough. Not when she’s smart enough. Because she deserves it. We all do. It’s never too late to be the main character, friend. What’s one area of your life you’re feeling like you’re showing up in the supporting role? What would happen if you just showed up as the main character? What could be possible for you? Sending you hugs, standing ovations, and permission to wear the expensive perfume you’ve been saving for a special occasion…(today is a special occasion) Alexis
1 year ago
View on Instagram |
6/6
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