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Alexis Buhrman

Life Coaching, Motivation
/
January 25, 2022

Can’t make a decision? Try this!

If you can’t make a decision, this exercise is a game-changer!

Have you ever had a hard time making a decision because you know that decision is going to greatly impact your life and you want to be sure you make the best one?

I’m Alexis Buhrman, Coach and Creator of the do-it-yourself vision and goal-setting course, The 48-Hour Planning Retreat™. I help high-achieving professionals create lives with more purpose, peace and pleasure and one thing is for sure:

If you want to create a life you love, you’ve got to get comfortable making decisions.

I think people expect that our jobs as coaches is to give our clients advice when it comes to making decisions, but that’s not what a good, trained coach does.

In my experience, most people don’t benefit from advice. And here’s why.

We don’t want to do things we don’t want to do. It’s that simple.

I’m no exception.

If my coach were to tell me something I should do, and it didn’t feel right for me, I wouldn’t do it. I would likely try to find a way that would get me the results I’m searching for in a way that feels good for me.

You see, when it comes to decisions, other people’s advice isn’t always helpful.

Have your parents, your spouse, or your best friend ever given you advice you just didn’t agree with? Maybe influenced a decision you made that you regretted?

I mean, most of us have at one time or another. Because we think advice will help us. When in fact, it actually hurts us.

Why?

Because humans are all unique. Since we all have our own life experiences, strengths and values, each of us is going to look at the decision through our own lens of life.

The prescription in my glasses aren’t YOUR prescription, so we’re going to see things VERY differently.

As a coach, my job is not to tell you what to do, but to ask you questions that can help you make your own decision – one that is unique and right for your needs.

Today, I want to share one of my favorite coaching exercises – and it’s super simple and super effective if you’re stuck or trying to make a decision about your life.

Your future self-exercise.

I think we all want to know we’ve had a life well lived when we come to the end.

But we get so bogged down and busy in the day-to-day grind that we don’t think about the future, certainly not decades into the future, but only what’s right in front of us.

If you’re struggling to make a choice it’s probably because you’re thinking of the now – what’s going to happen as a result of making that choice right now, or in the next few months or even years.

But what do you think your future self would say? If you were able to ask your future self at 50, 60, 70 and beyond, what do you think they would have to say about this decision?

White woman sitting at a table in a coffee shop, holding a pen and writing pros and cons of making a decision in a journal

Here’s how you do the exercise in the simplest, easiest way.

Three questions.

You can do this even if you’re too busy to shave your legs, okay?

Get a piece of paper and let’s journal this out.

First question: What’s the decision you’re struggling to make?

Write it down.

Second question: What am I concerned about?

In my experience, I find we get stuck on making a decision because we get overwhelmed by all the what-ifs.

We start thinking about all the things that feel hard, all the things that could go wrong, what will happen if they go wrong and then we get into this freak out thought spiral.

Our brain starts to overwhelm us with all these thoughts and beliefs, and then more questions, right?

And I don’t want you to get in that spiral.

Because the truth is, you’re not a mind reader. Neither am I. You don’t know what will happen when you make the decision.

You might be so happy you did and wish you did it sooner. Or, you might regret it.

One thing is for sure. Nothing will happen until you make it happen.

Being afraid of all the things that could potentially go wrong shouldn’t keep us from making a decision.

We want to get all the fear and noise out of your head and on paper. All the concerns and fears.

We do this because sometimes it seems like there are a lot of “what-ifs” to overcome, but oftentimes when you see them all written down, they’re no big deal. Just details.

Like “What if I move and I don’t like the neighborhood?”

Get a new one when the lease is up, or rent something with a 6-month lease!

See what I mean?

When you address these concerns, you’ll likely find there are many that are easy to work through.

These are the questions I help my clients find answers to. But what about the ones that aren’t so cut and dry?

What if I leave my marriage and regret it? If I’m not smart enough for the job? What if I decide not to have children?

These are the questions that are hard to ask, but that I believe one person has the answers to.

Your future self.

I believe that deep down, we know what’s right for ourselves.

We just get stuck in our heads with all the details and fears and analysis paralysis. We stop trusting our gut and our inner compass, so we think we need to look outside of ourselves for the answers.

But nobody is looking at your life through your glasses, from your perspective. Except, of course, you. So ask yourself!

The third question: What advice would my future self give me?

If you’re staying in a deeply unhappy or unhealthy marriage because you think it’s what you’re supposed to do and you aren’t sure whether to leave or stay – what would your future self say?

What would she have done or wished you would have done looking back 5 years from now? 10? 20?

Are there things she’d regret or rejoice?

If you never went to college and always wanted to so you could get a better job, but you’re afraid you’re not smart enough, what would your future self want you to do?

What would it cost you 10 years from now if you stayed in the same job? In 20 years? What would your retirement look like? Could you retire?

What would be the cost of continuing to avoid making the decisions? Would your future self thin it was worth the price?

These may not sound like fun questions to ask, but some decisions in life aren’t fun to make. Some feel so scary but once made, feel like a huge burden has been lifted from your shoulders.

I truly believe we all have the answers we need within us – we just need to ask the right questions to access them.

Once you’ve made a choice, THEN you can start focusing on the details and what to do next.

And remember – life is full of choices and you can make new ones all the time. Just because you make one, doesn’t mean you can’t pivot if the decision didn’t turn out like you hoped.

So you leave a job you were comfortable in for a new one and realize it’s not a good fit.

You can find a new one! You don’t have to commit 100% to your decision if you get more information and realize it isn’t the right one for you.

Sometimes we just have to make the choice and go from there.

It’s not the end of the world.

Thank you so much for giving me the gift of your time. If you can’t make a decision about something, I hope this video was helpful.

I’d love to hear from you.

Have you tried the future-self exercise? If not, give it a go and let me know what you learned in the comments.

For more videos to help you create a life with more purpose, peace and pleasure, you can follow me on Facebook and Instagram @alexisbcoaching

WANT MORE SUPPORT TO CREATE A LIFE YOU LOVE?

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TAGS:Life Coaching TipsPersonal DevelopmentPersonal Growth
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Alexis Buhrman

I help professional women bring more purpose, peace and pleasure into their lives, without sacrificing one for the other, to create a main character life. I teach my clients a strategy to work toward their business, professional, and personal goals in a sustainable, feel-good way, with more confidence, ease, joy, fun, and pleasure.

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  • Should I Dress Nicer in My Business to Attract More Clients?
  • Why I don’t always recommend brands
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I have something to celebrate. Something that has taken what seems like forever. A sweet ending and a new beginning.
 
For the last 13-ish months, I've been waiting for my Trademark applications to be approved. If you're unfamiliar, applying for and registering a trademark is a long process.
 
I wanted ownership of the name of my style program, Main Character Closet™, and I also wanted ALL of my products and services to be renamed and branded under the "main character" umbrella.
 
Since 2019, The 48-Hour Planning Retreat™, my vision and goal-setting online course, has been my signature program. Many people have gone through the course and go back to it year after year to dream and plan for the life they always wanted, all in a weekend. 
 
I'm proud of this program. Writing, recording, designing, and publishing took a whole year! A freaking YEAR! 
 
And now I'm retiring the course. 😮

I'm creating a new program, adding new content, and rebranding/redesigning/renaming The 48-Hour Planning Retreat™ to Main Character Year™.
 
I'm officially in the final stages of trademark approval and want to celebrate with a special retirement discount of $200 off the original course.
 
I've never offered a discount on the program, and this is the lowest price it's ever been. If you use your discount code, here's what you'll pay:
 
⭐ Standard Course Price: $297 (was $497)
 
⭐ VIP Upgrade Course Price, which includes the course and 90-minute coaching session with me): $597 (was $797)
 
And to make the program even more accessible, I now offer payment plans through Affirm and AfterPay on ALL my programs, products, and services. They range from 0% interest for 4 payments, to extended plans.
 
What do you want more of in your life by the end of 2023? In 2024? This program can help you get clear on what you want and the feel-good steps to make it happen. Because I want you to create a life that makes you feel like the main character.
 
If you've been waiting to enroll in my program, this is the absolute best time at the lowest price.
 
Enroll now (link in bio) and use code 48HOUR200OFF at checkout: https://alexis-buhrman.mykajabi.com/48HRPR

Here's to new beginnings!
alexisbcoaching
alexisbcoaching
•
Follow
I have something to celebrate. Something that has taken what seems like forever. A sweet ending and a new beginning. For the last 13-ish months, I've been waiting for my Trademark applications to be approved. If you're unfamiliar, applying for and registering a trademark is a long process. I wanted ownership of the name of my style program, Main Character Closet™, and I also wanted ALL of my products and services to be renamed and branded under the "main character" umbrella. Since 2019, The 48-Hour Planning Retreat™, my vision and goal-setting online course, has been my signature program. Many people have gone through the course and go back to it year after year to dream and plan for the life they always wanted, all in a weekend. I'm proud of this program. Writing, recording, designing, and publishing took a whole year! A freaking YEAR! And now I'm retiring the course. 😮 I'm creating a new program, adding new content, and rebranding/redesigning/renaming The 48-Hour Planning Retreat™ to Main Character Year™. I'm officially in the final stages of trademark approval and want to celebrate with a special retirement discount of $200 off the original course. I've never offered a discount on the program, and this is the lowest price it's ever been. If you use your discount code, here's what you'll pay: ⭐ Standard Course Price: $297 (was $497) ⭐ VIP Upgrade Course Price, which includes the course and 90-minute coaching session with me): $597 (was $797) And to make the program even more accessible, I now offer payment plans through Affirm and AfterPay on ALL my programs, products, and services. They range from 0% interest for 4 payments, to extended plans. What do you want more of in your life by the end of 2023? In 2024? This program can help you get clear on what you want and the feel-good steps to make it happen. Because I want you to create a life that makes you feel like the main character. If you've been waiting to enroll in my program, this is the absolute best time at the lowest price. Enroll now (link in bio) and use code 48HOUR200OFF at checkout: https://alexis-buhrman.mykajabi.com/48HRPR Here's to new beginnings!
19 hours ago
View on Instagram |
1/4
Should. It's a dirty, dirty word, isn't it?

People have asked me about upgrading their style game to attract more clients. I have thoughts.

Here's the thing. People judge. We're wired to do it, even if we don't realize it or have mean intentions. I do it. You do it. People are going to judge you no matter what you do.

Knowing that people judge, some people choose to upgrade their style and image to make a statement to potential clients. Some people are programmed from their former corporate roles to dress for the job you want, not the one you've got.

Some people feel pressured to dress a certain way and push back. It makes them angry. If you're good at what you do, who cares what you wear?!

Instead of asking, "Should I Dress Nicer in My Business to Attract More Clients?" here are two different questions:

What impression do you want to make?

How can your style reflect that in a way that feels good to you?

It can feel like a total slog if you're focused on dressing for others rather than yourself. You might feel resentful or angry.

When I work with clients, I want them to know that they can make a statement with their style without changing who they are to do it. It doesn't (and shouldn't) have to feel like a "should."

Here's what I want you to know:

You can have a great style that feels easy.

You can have a great style that fits your budget.

You can have great style in the body you have right now.

You can have great style for your own joy and pleasure and one that makes the impression YOU want it to.

You can have great style and be comfortable.

You can have great style that doesn't feel like a "should."

Personal style is PERSONAL, and I help my clients find one that checks all their preference boxes, doesn't feel like a "should," and makes them feel confident. So they can show up on camera, on stage, or at their next in-person event feeling like the main damn character in their clothes.

If you need help in this area, I want to work with you. Send me a message, and let's book a call.

If you want to learn more before we chat, visit www.maincharactercloset.com for all the program details and pricing/payment plan options. Link in bio.
alexisbcoaching
alexisbcoaching
•
Follow
Should. It's a dirty, dirty word, isn't it? People have asked me about upgrading their style game to attract more clients. I have thoughts. Here's the thing. People judge. We're wired to do it, even if we don't realize it or have mean intentions. I do it. You do it. People are going to judge you no matter what you do. Knowing that people judge, some people choose to upgrade their style and image to make a statement to potential clients. Some people are programmed from their former corporate roles to dress for the job you want, not the one you've got. Some people feel pressured to dress a certain way and push back. It makes them angry. If you're good at what you do, who cares what you wear?! Instead of asking, "Should I Dress Nicer in My Business to Attract More Clients?" here are two different questions: What impression do you want to make? How can your style reflect that in a way that feels good to you? It can feel like a total slog if you're focused on dressing for others rather than yourself. You might feel resentful or angry. When I work with clients, I want them to know that they can make a statement with their style without changing who they are to do it. It doesn't (and shouldn't) have to feel like a "should." Here's what I want you to know: You can have a great style that feels easy. You can have a great style that fits your budget. You can have great style in the body you have right now. You can have great style for your own joy and pleasure and one that makes the impression YOU want it to. You can have great style and be comfortable. You can have great style that doesn't feel like a "should." Personal style is PERSONAL, and I help my clients find one that checks all their preference boxes, doesn't feel like a "should," and makes them feel confident. So they can show up on camera, on stage, or at their next in-person event feeling like the main damn character in their clothes. If you need help in this area, I want to work with you. Send me a message, and let's book a call. If you want to learn more before we chat, visit www.maincharactercloset.com for all the program details and pricing/payment plan options. Link in bio.
5 days ago
View on Instagram |
2/4
Why are we still doing this?⁠
⁠
I met someone on Zoom recently - a new connection in my network. I felt we didn’t really hit it off. No big deal, right?⁠
⁠
On the call, we shared what we both do, and they told me they’re authentic because they don’t wear any makeup. They were the “real deal.” At the time, I clearly was wearing my signature liquid black eyeliner…because that's my thing and I will be buried in it. 🤣 Not really. I rarely wear makeup anymore, but if I do, it's black liquid eyeliner for the win.⁠
⁠
The convo got me thinking, I’ve read a few comments online recently, shaming people and labeling them as "fake" for dying their hair, doing their nails, wearing certain styles of clothing, or getting hair extensions.⁠
⁠
Just throwing this out there: if it's genuine to you, it's authentic. Personal style is personal. Just because I don’t do my nails, doesn’t mean I judge other people who do, or label them as less authentic. Other people's style choices are none of my business.⁠
⁠
I touch up my roots not because I’m “inauthentic” but because I like the aesthetic of my dark hair. That’s a part of my personal style that I currently enjoy.⁠
⁠
I understand how the patriarchy has impacted women and programmed them (us) with the message that we’re only as good as our appearance. We are judged by how we look. Women already have to deal with that judgment from culture at large, do we need it from other women, too?⁠
⁠
I know that how we look can become an obsession for some. Even when I see that in others, they’re still people. Who am I to judge them?⁠
⁠
I work with and style a lot of different people, and none of them deserved to be shamed or labeled as inauthentic, no matter their reasons for adornment. That's none of my business.⁠
⁠
What is my business is how we work together.⁠
⁠
My hope is that we can shift any focus on dressing/adorning for others to a focus on personal joy, comfort and pleasure. Letting personal enjoyment and how my clients want to feel be the guide and dropping things that don’t align with that goal and those feelings.⁠
⁠
And just throwing this out there. You can still dye your hair. You are welcome here.⁠
⁠
Thoughts?
alexisbcoaching
alexisbcoaching
•
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Why are we still doing this?⁠ ⁠ I met someone on Zoom recently - a new connection in my network. I felt we didn’t really hit it off. No big deal, right?⁠ ⁠ On the call, we shared what we both do, and they told me they’re authentic because they don’t wear any makeup. They were the “real deal.” At the time, I clearly was wearing my signature liquid black eyeliner…because that's my thing and I will be buried in it. 🤣 Not really. I rarely wear makeup anymore, but if I do, it's black liquid eyeliner for the win.⁠ ⁠ The convo got me thinking, I’ve read a few comments online recently, shaming people and labeling them as "fake" for dying their hair, doing their nails, wearing certain styles of clothing, or getting hair extensions.⁠ ⁠ Just throwing this out there: if it's genuine to you, it's authentic. Personal style is personal. Just because I don’t do my nails, doesn’t mean I judge other people who do, or label them as less authentic. Other people's style choices are none of my business.⁠ ⁠ I touch up my roots not because I’m “inauthentic” but because I like the aesthetic of my dark hair. That’s a part of my personal style that I currently enjoy.⁠ ⁠ I understand how the patriarchy has impacted women and programmed them (us) with the message that we’re only as good as our appearance. We are judged by how we look. Women already have to deal with that judgment from culture at large, do we need it from other women, too?⁠ ⁠ I know that how we look can become an obsession for some. Even when I see that in others, they’re still people. Who am I to judge them?⁠ ⁠ I work with and style a lot of different people, and none of them deserved to be shamed or labeled as inauthentic, no matter their reasons for adornment. That's none of my business.⁠ ⁠ What is my business is how we work together.⁠ ⁠ My hope is that we can shift any focus on dressing/adorning for others to a focus on personal joy, comfort and pleasure. Letting personal enjoyment and how my clients want to feel be the guide and dropping things that don’t align with that goal and those feelings.⁠ ⁠ And just throwing this out there. You can still dye your hair. You are welcome here.⁠ ⁠ Thoughts?
6 days ago
View on Instagram |
3/4
What ERA are you in?

I'm in a group coaching program, and the coach asked us this question. She wanted us to chose the ERA we want to be in at this moment in our lives.

I decided that this is my VIP ERA. Not VIP in terms of money, but in how I show up for myself and treat myself like a VIP.

This looks like asking myself:

Is what I’m doing or thinking treating myself like a VIP? Do my thoughts and actions feel like business class? Economy class? Or worse, not even on the plane because I don’t have a ticket?!

This week, that looked like asking myself:

Is drinking another cup of coffee how I’d treat myself as a VIP or does my body really need water?

Is sitting at the desk all day (because I can) treating myself like a VIP or do I need to take more breaks?

Is working late (because I love this project) really good for me, or do I need to log off and get a good night's sleep?

I like asking these questions because they don’t feel like an attack or criticism. They feel in alignment with my ERA. It’s looking at different areas of my life and identifying which ones I want to improve.

I shared this exercise with another group of friends, and several identified that their clothes did not make them feel like VIPs. That was the area that needed improvement.

There's research that shows that what we wear can influence our mood. No shocker there. You just feel good when you're wearing something you love - even jeans and a t-shirt.

A lot of my clients have been waiting to lose weight before they buy clothes, because they think losing weight will make them feel better.

But I argue that when you start treating yourself like a VIP and dressing the body you have now, THAT will make you feel better. That will increase your confidence and joy.

And when you feel even a little bit better about yourself, and treat yourself like a VIP, it will give you that boost of motivation to look at all the ways you can treat yourself like a VIP.

If you’re ready to find a style you love and upgrade your closet, I would love to spend 30 days with you, helping you achieve your goals.

You can find all the details at www.maincharactercloset.com - link in bio. Or send me a DM!
alexisbcoaching
alexisbcoaching
•
Follow
What ERA are you in? I'm in a group coaching program, and the coach asked us this question. She wanted us to chose the ERA we want to be in at this moment in our lives. I decided that this is my VIP ERA. Not VIP in terms of money, but in how I show up for myself and treat myself like a VIP. This looks like asking myself: Is what I’m doing or thinking treating myself like a VIP? Do my thoughts and actions feel like business class? Economy class? Or worse, not even on the plane because I don’t have a ticket?! This week, that looked like asking myself: Is drinking another cup of coffee how I’d treat myself as a VIP or does my body really need water? Is sitting at the desk all day (because I can) treating myself like a VIP or do I need to take more breaks? Is working late (because I love this project) really good for me, or do I need to log off and get a good night's sleep? I like asking these questions because they don’t feel like an attack or criticism. They feel in alignment with my ERA. It’s looking at different areas of my life and identifying which ones I want to improve. I shared this exercise with another group of friends, and several identified that their clothes did not make them feel like VIPs. That was the area that needed improvement. There's research that shows that what we wear can influence our mood. No shocker there. You just feel good when you're wearing something you love - even jeans and a t-shirt. A lot of my clients have been waiting to lose weight before they buy clothes, because they think losing weight will make them feel better. But I argue that when you start treating yourself like a VIP and dressing the body you have now, THAT will make you feel better. That will increase your confidence and joy. And when you feel even a little bit better about yourself, and treat yourself like a VIP, it will give you that boost of motivation to look at all the ways you can treat yourself like a VIP. If you’re ready to find a style you love and upgrade your closet, I would love to spend 30 days with you, helping you achieve your goals. You can find all the details at www.maincharactercloset.com - link in bio. Or send me a DM!
1 month ago
View on Instagram |
4/4

Categories

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  • Confidence
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  • Inspiration
  • Life Coaching
  • Motivation
  • Personal Brand
  • Personal Style
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@alexisbcoaching

I have something to celebrate. Something that has taken what seems like forever. A sweet ending and a new beginning.
 
For the last 13-ish months, I've been waiting for my Trademark applications to be approved. If you're unfamiliar, applying for and registering a trademark is a long process.
 
I wanted ownership of the name of my style program, Main Character Closet™, and I also wanted ALL of my products and services to be renamed and branded under the "main character" umbrella.
 
Since 2019, The 48-Hour Planning Retreat™, my vision and goal-setting online course, has been my signature program. Many people have gone through the course and go back to it year after year to dream and plan for the life they always wanted, all in a weekend. 
 
I'm proud of this program. Writing, recording, designing, and publishing took a whole year! A freaking YEAR! 
 
And now I'm retiring the course. 😮

I'm creating a new program, adding new content, and rebranding/redesigning/renaming The 48-Hour Planning Retreat™ to Main Character Year™.
 
I'm officially in the final stages of trademark approval and want to celebrate with a special retirement discount of $200 off the original course.
 
I've never offered a discount on the program, and this is the lowest price it's ever been. If you use your discount code, here's what you'll pay:
 
⭐ Standard Course Price: $297 (was $497)
 
⭐ VIP Upgrade Course Price, which includes the course and 90-minute coaching session with me): $597 (was $797)
 
And to make the program even more accessible, I now offer payment plans through Affirm and AfterPay on ALL my programs, products, and services. They range from 0% interest for 4 payments, to extended plans.
 
What do you want more of in your life by the end of 2023? In 2024? This program can help you get clear on what you want and the feel-good steps to make it happen. Because I want you to create a life that makes you feel like the main character.
 
If you've been waiting to enroll in my program, this is the absolute best time at the lowest price.
 
Enroll now (link in bio) and use code 48HOUR200OFF at checkout: https://alexis-buhrman.mykajabi.com/48HRPR

Here's to new beginnings!
alexisbcoaching
alexisbcoaching
•
Follow
I have something to celebrate. Something that has taken what seems like forever. A sweet ending and a new beginning. For the last 13-ish months, I've been waiting for my Trademark applications to be approved. If you're unfamiliar, applying for and registering a trademark is a long process. I wanted ownership of the name of my style program, Main Character Closet™, and I also wanted ALL of my products and services to be renamed and branded under the "main character" umbrella. Since 2019, The 48-Hour Planning Retreat™, my vision and goal-setting online course, has been my signature program. Many people have gone through the course and go back to it year after year to dream and plan for the life they always wanted, all in a weekend. I'm proud of this program. Writing, recording, designing, and publishing took a whole year! A freaking YEAR! And now I'm retiring the course. 😮 I'm creating a new program, adding new content, and rebranding/redesigning/renaming The 48-Hour Planning Retreat™ to Main Character Year™. I'm officially in the final stages of trademark approval and want to celebrate with a special retirement discount of $200 off the original course. I've never offered a discount on the program, and this is the lowest price it's ever been. If you use your discount code, here's what you'll pay: ⭐ Standard Course Price: $297 (was $497) ⭐ VIP Upgrade Course Price, which includes the course and 90-minute coaching session with me): $597 (was $797) And to make the program even more accessible, I now offer payment plans through Affirm and AfterPay on ALL my programs, products, and services. They range from 0% interest for 4 payments, to extended plans. What do you want more of in your life by the end of 2023? In 2024? This program can help you get clear on what you want and the feel-good steps to make it happen. Because I want you to create a life that makes you feel like the main character. If you've been waiting to enroll in my program, this is the absolute best time at the lowest price. Enroll now (link in bio) and use code 48HOUR200OFF at checkout: https://alexis-buhrman.mykajabi.com/48HRPR Here's to new beginnings!
19 hours ago
View on Instagram |
1/6
Should. It's a dirty, dirty word, isn't it?

People have asked me about upgrading their style game to attract more clients. I have thoughts.

Here's the thing. People judge. We're wired to do it, even if we don't realize it or have mean intentions. I do it. You do it. People are going to judge you no matter what you do.

Knowing that people judge, some people choose to upgrade their style and image to make a statement to potential clients. Some people are programmed from their former corporate roles to dress for the job you want, not the one you've got.

Some people feel pressured to dress a certain way and push back. It makes them angry. If you're good at what you do, who cares what you wear?!

Instead of asking, "Should I Dress Nicer in My Business to Attract More Clients?" here are two different questions:

What impression do you want to make?

How can your style reflect that in a way that feels good to you?

It can feel like a total slog if you're focused on dressing for others rather than yourself. You might feel resentful or angry.

When I work with clients, I want them to know that they can make a statement with their style without changing who they are to do it. It doesn't (and shouldn't) have to feel like a "should."

Here's what I want you to know:

You can have a great style that feels easy.

You can have a great style that fits your budget.

You can have great style in the body you have right now.

You can have great style for your own joy and pleasure and one that makes the impression YOU want it to.

You can have great style and be comfortable.

You can have great style that doesn't feel like a "should."

Personal style is PERSONAL, and I help my clients find one that checks all their preference boxes, doesn't feel like a "should," and makes them feel confident. So they can show up on camera, on stage, or at their next in-person event feeling like the main damn character in their clothes.

If you need help in this area, I want to work with you. Send me a message, and let's book a call.

If you want to learn more before we chat, visit www.maincharactercloset.com for all the program details and pricing/payment plan options. Link in bio.
alexisbcoaching
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Should. It's a dirty, dirty word, isn't it? People have asked me about upgrading their style game to attract more clients. I have thoughts. Here's the thing. People judge. We're wired to do it, even if we don't realize it or have mean intentions. I do it. You do it. People are going to judge you no matter what you do. Knowing that people judge, some people choose to upgrade their style and image to make a statement to potential clients. Some people are programmed from their former corporate roles to dress for the job you want, not the one you've got. Some people feel pressured to dress a certain way and push back. It makes them angry. If you're good at what you do, who cares what you wear?! Instead of asking, "Should I Dress Nicer in My Business to Attract More Clients?" here are two different questions: What impression do you want to make? How can your style reflect that in a way that feels good to you? It can feel like a total slog if you're focused on dressing for others rather than yourself. You might feel resentful or angry. When I work with clients, I want them to know that they can make a statement with their style without changing who they are to do it. It doesn't (and shouldn't) have to feel like a "should." Here's what I want you to know: You can have a great style that feels easy. You can have a great style that fits your budget. You can have great style in the body you have right now. You can have great style for your own joy and pleasure and one that makes the impression YOU want it to. You can have great style and be comfortable. You can have great style that doesn't feel like a "should." Personal style is PERSONAL, and I help my clients find one that checks all their preference boxes, doesn't feel like a "should," and makes them feel confident. So they can show up on camera, on stage, or at their next in-person event feeling like the main damn character in their clothes. If you need help in this area, I want to work with you. Send me a message, and let's book a call. If you want to learn more before we chat, visit www.maincharactercloset.com for all the program details and pricing/payment plan options. Link in bio.
5 days ago
View on Instagram |
2/6
Why are we still doing this?⁠
⁠
I met someone on Zoom recently - a new connection in my network. I felt we didn’t really hit it off. No big deal, right?⁠
⁠
On the call, we shared what we both do, and they told me they’re authentic because they don’t wear any makeup. They were the “real deal.” At the time, I clearly was wearing my signature liquid black eyeliner…because that's my thing and I will be buried in it. 🤣 Not really. I rarely wear makeup anymore, but if I do, it's black liquid eyeliner for the win.⁠
⁠
The convo got me thinking, I’ve read a few comments online recently, shaming people and labeling them as "fake" for dying their hair, doing their nails, wearing certain styles of clothing, or getting hair extensions.⁠
⁠
Just throwing this out there: if it's genuine to you, it's authentic. Personal style is personal. Just because I don’t do my nails, doesn’t mean I judge other people who do, or label them as less authentic. Other people's style choices are none of my business.⁠
⁠
I touch up my roots not because I’m “inauthentic” but because I like the aesthetic of my dark hair. That’s a part of my personal style that I currently enjoy.⁠
⁠
I understand how the patriarchy has impacted women and programmed them (us) with the message that we’re only as good as our appearance. We are judged by how we look. Women already have to deal with that judgment from culture at large, do we need it from other women, too?⁠
⁠
I know that how we look can become an obsession for some. Even when I see that in others, they’re still people. Who am I to judge them?⁠
⁠
I work with and style a lot of different people, and none of them deserved to be shamed or labeled as inauthentic, no matter their reasons for adornment. That's none of my business.⁠
⁠
What is my business is how we work together.⁠
⁠
My hope is that we can shift any focus on dressing/adorning for others to a focus on personal joy, comfort and pleasure. Letting personal enjoyment and how my clients want to feel be the guide and dropping things that don’t align with that goal and those feelings.⁠
⁠
And just throwing this out there. You can still dye your hair. You are welcome here.⁠
⁠
Thoughts?
alexisbcoaching
alexisbcoaching
•
Follow
Why are we still doing this?⁠ ⁠ I met someone on Zoom recently - a new connection in my network. I felt we didn’t really hit it off. No big deal, right?⁠ ⁠ On the call, we shared what we both do, and they told me they’re authentic because they don’t wear any makeup. They were the “real deal.” At the time, I clearly was wearing my signature liquid black eyeliner…because that's my thing and I will be buried in it. 🤣 Not really. I rarely wear makeup anymore, but if I do, it's black liquid eyeliner for the win.⁠ ⁠ The convo got me thinking, I’ve read a few comments online recently, shaming people and labeling them as "fake" for dying their hair, doing their nails, wearing certain styles of clothing, or getting hair extensions.⁠ ⁠ Just throwing this out there: if it's genuine to you, it's authentic. Personal style is personal. Just because I don’t do my nails, doesn’t mean I judge other people who do, or label them as less authentic. Other people's style choices are none of my business.⁠ ⁠ I touch up my roots not because I’m “inauthentic” but because I like the aesthetic of my dark hair. That’s a part of my personal style that I currently enjoy.⁠ ⁠ I understand how the patriarchy has impacted women and programmed them (us) with the message that we’re only as good as our appearance. We are judged by how we look. Women already have to deal with that judgment from culture at large, do we need it from other women, too?⁠ ⁠ I know that how we look can become an obsession for some. Even when I see that in others, they’re still people. Who am I to judge them?⁠ ⁠ I work with and style a lot of different people, and none of them deserved to be shamed or labeled as inauthentic, no matter their reasons for adornment. That's none of my business.⁠ ⁠ What is my business is how we work together.⁠ ⁠ My hope is that we can shift any focus on dressing/adorning for others to a focus on personal joy, comfort and pleasure. Letting personal enjoyment and how my clients want to feel be the guide and dropping things that don’t align with that goal and those feelings.⁠ ⁠ And just throwing this out there. You can still dye your hair. You are welcome here.⁠ ⁠ Thoughts?
6 days ago
View on Instagram |
3/6
What ERA are you in?

I'm in a group coaching program, and the coach asked us this question. She wanted us to chose the ERA we want to be in at this moment in our lives.

I decided that this is my VIP ERA. Not VIP in terms of money, but in how I show up for myself and treat myself like a VIP.

This looks like asking myself:

Is what I’m doing or thinking treating myself like a VIP? Do my thoughts and actions feel like business class? Economy class? Or worse, not even on the plane because I don’t have a ticket?!

This week, that looked like asking myself:

Is drinking another cup of coffee how I’d treat myself as a VIP or does my body really need water?

Is sitting at the desk all day (because I can) treating myself like a VIP or do I need to take more breaks?

Is working late (because I love this project) really good for me, or do I need to log off and get a good night's sleep?

I like asking these questions because they don’t feel like an attack or criticism. They feel in alignment with my ERA. It’s looking at different areas of my life and identifying which ones I want to improve.

I shared this exercise with another group of friends, and several identified that their clothes did not make them feel like VIPs. That was the area that needed improvement.

There's research that shows that what we wear can influence our mood. No shocker there. You just feel good when you're wearing something you love - even jeans and a t-shirt.

A lot of my clients have been waiting to lose weight before they buy clothes, because they think losing weight will make them feel better.

But I argue that when you start treating yourself like a VIP and dressing the body you have now, THAT will make you feel better. That will increase your confidence and joy.

And when you feel even a little bit better about yourself, and treat yourself like a VIP, it will give you that boost of motivation to look at all the ways you can treat yourself like a VIP.

If you’re ready to find a style you love and upgrade your closet, I would love to spend 30 days with you, helping you achieve your goals.

You can find all the details at www.maincharactercloset.com - link in bio. Or send me a DM!
alexisbcoaching
alexisbcoaching
•
Follow
What ERA are you in? I'm in a group coaching program, and the coach asked us this question. She wanted us to chose the ERA we want to be in at this moment in our lives. I decided that this is my VIP ERA. Not VIP in terms of money, but in how I show up for myself and treat myself like a VIP. This looks like asking myself: Is what I’m doing or thinking treating myself like a VIP? Do my thoughts and actions feel like business class? Economy class? Or worse, not even on the plane because I don’t have a ticket?! This week, that looked like asking myself: Is drinking another cup of coffee how I’d treat myself as a VIP or does my body really need water? Is sitting at the desk all day (because I can) treating myself like a VIP or do I need to take more breaks? Is working late (because I love this project) really good for me, or do I need to log off and get a good night's sleep? I like asking these questions because they don’t feel like an attack or criticism. They feel in alignment with my ERA. It’s looking at different areas of my life and identifying which ones I want to improve. I shared this exercise with another group of friends, and several identified that their clothes did not make them feel like VIPs. That was the area that needed improvement. There's research that shows that what we wear can influence our mood. No shocker there. You just feel good when you're wearing something you love - even jeans and a t-shirt. A lot of my clients have been waiting to lose weight before they buy clothes, because they think losing weight will make them feel better. But I argue that when you start treating yourself like a VIP and dressing the body you have now, THAT will make you feel better. That will increase your confidence and joy. And when you feel even a little bit better about yourself, and treat yourself like a VIP, it will give you that boost of motivation to look at all the ways you can treat yourself like a VIP. If you’re ready to find a style you love and upgrade your closet, I would love to spend 30 days with you, helping you achieve your goals. You can find all the details at www.maincharactercloset.com - link in bio. Or send me a DM!
1 month ago
View on Instagram |
4/6
Hi. I'm Alexis. If you're new here, welcome to the lazy style party!⁠
⁠
I'm a size-inclusive style coach. I teach women of all shapes and sizes how to find and shop for their style and turn random items into beautiful outfits with ease - so they can save time and money and feel confident in their clothes.⁠
⁠
My clients come to me when they are long overdue for a closet upgrade.⁠
⁠
They WANT to be comfortable, NEED to get dressed quickly and LONG to look put together and cute – whether it’s on Zoom, on stage, or picking up kids from school.⁠
⁠
I created Main Character Closet™ FOR YOU! Here's how it works:⁠
⁠
We meet over Zoom and spend half a day together finding your style - one that reflects who you are and the story you want to tell through your clothes: professional, put-together, confident, qualified, creative, or just damn keeewwwwwtttt!⁠
⁠
I handpick 15-20 PAGES of items and brands based on your style goals, body and budget, and we'll spend 30 days together trying things on and shopping the winners. You can email and text me photos of your shopping cart before you buy, or take me with you while you shop!⁠
⁠
I'll teach you how to put items you already have, and new ones you purchase together, so you have a closet full of grab-and-go outfits to wear.⁠
⁠
You'll walk away feeling confident that you can shop for yourself, but if you ever feel stuck, your VIP Day includes a follow-up Zoom call, so you can really put what you learn into practice with my support.⁠
⁠
Imagine how good it will feel to finally have a closet full of clothes that make you feel like the main damn character!⁠
⁠
If your closet needs a little love or a full-on exorcism, I’ve got you. And this is going to be fun!⁠
⁠
I'm filling up for 2023 because the holidays are around the corner. I know, it's only August, but I recommend clients give themselves plenty of time to shop and get things altered if needed, so this is an enjoyable, stress-free process.⁠
⁠
If you're interested, send me a message and let's chat. You can also get all the details and transparent pricing on my website at www.maincharactercloset.com⁠
⁠
Cheers and glad to have you here!
alexisbcoaching
alexisbcoaching
•
Follow
Hi. I'm Alexis. If you're new here, welcome to the lazy style party!⁠ ⁠ I'm a size-inclusive style coach. I teach women of all shapes and sizes how to find and shop for their style and turn random items into beautiful outfits with ease - so they can save time and money and feel confident in their clothes.⁠ ⁠ My clients come to me when they are long overdue for a closet upgrade.⁠ ⁠ They WANT to be comfortable, NEED to get dressed quickly and LONG to look put together and cute – whether it’s on Zoom, on stage, or picking up kids from school.⁠ ⁠ I created Main Character Closet™ FOR YOU! Here's how it works:⁠ ⁠ We meet over Zoom and spend half a day together finding your style - one that reflects who you are and the story you want to tell through your clothes: professional, put-together, confident, qualified, creative, or just damn keeewwwwwtttt!⁠ ⁠ I handpick 15-20 PAGES of items and brands based on your style goals, body and budget, and we'll spend 30 days together trying things on and shopping the winners. You can email and text me photos of your shopping cart before you buy, or take me with you while you shop!⁠ ⁠ I'll teach you how to put items you already have, and new ones you purchase together, so you have a closet full of grab-and-go outfits to wear.⁠ ⁠ You'll walk away feeling confident that you can shop for yourself, but if you ever feel stuck, your VIP Day includes a follow-up Zoom call, so you can really put what you learn into practice with my support.⁠ ⁠ Imagine how good it will feel to finally have a closet full of clothes that make you feel like the main damn character!⁠ ⁠ If your closet needs a little love or a full-on exorcism, I’ve got you. And this is going to be fun!⁠ ⁠ I'm filling up for 2023 because the holidays are around the corner. I know, it's only August, but I recommend clients give themselves plenty of time to shop and get things altered if needed, so this is an enjoyable, stress-free process.⁠ ⁠ If you're interested, send me a message and let's chat. You can also get all the details and transparent pricing on my website at www.maincharactercloset.com⁠ ⁠ Cheers and glad to have you here!
1 month ago
View on Instagram |
5/6
Feeling Frumpy...⁠
⁠
When I work with clients in my Personal Style program, Main Character Closet™, the first step in the process is the prework. ⁠
⁠
One of the questionnaires asks them to describe how they currently feel about their style.⁠
⁠
And guess what word I see, time and again?⁠
⁠
FRUMPY.⁠
⁠
Hey, I get it! Lots of my clients were working from home during the pandemic. Some people I’ve worked with put on some weight and have resisted buying new clothes.

Some haven’t bought new clothes in years and everything needs an upgrade. The one word they use to describe how they feel that they all have in common is “frumpy.⁠”
⁠
If you can relate, I want to work with you and help you find a style and clothes you love, in the body you have now. ❤️
⁠
How would it FEEL to:⁠
⁠
✅ Have a complete, head-to-toe closet overhaul in the next month?⁠

✅ Spend 4 hours with me finally finding a style you absolutely love, however you define it?⁠
⁠
✅ Have me pick you curated clothing and brands that fit your body, budget and style goals?⁠
⁠
✅ Get 30 days of email and text support as you shop and try things on and a 60-minute Zoom follow-up call to turn all those purchases into grab-and-go outfits?
⁠
I have a handful of VIP day spots available in the next few months and if you think you’d like to snag one, send me a DM and let’s talk.⁠

Or visit www.maincharactercloset.com - all the program details and pricing are outlined there. Link in bio.
⁠
I would love to help you find a style that makes you feel like the main damn character!
Feeling Frumpy...⁠
⁠
When I work with clients in my Personal Style program, Main Character Closet™, the first step in the process is the prework. ⁠
⁠
One of the questionnaires asks them to describe how they currently feel about their style.⁠
⁠
And guess what word I see, time and again?⁠
⁠
FRUMPY.⁠
⁠
Hey, I get it! Lots of my clients were working from home during the pandemic. Some people I’ve worked with put on some weight and have resisted buying new clothes.

Some haven’t bought new clothes in years and everything needs an upgrade. The one word they use to describe how they feel that they all have in common is “frumpy.⁠”
⁠
If you can relate, I want to work with you and help you find a style and clothes you love, in the body you have now. ❤️
⁠
How would it FEEL to:⁠
⁠
✅ Have a complete, head-to-toe closet overhaul in the next month?⁠

✅ Spend 4 hours with me finally finding a style you absolutely love, however you define it?⁠
⁠
✅ Have me pick you curated clothing and brands that fit your body, budget and style goals?⁠
⁠
✅ Get 30 days of email and text support as you shop and try things on and a 60-minute Zoom follow-up call to turn all those purchases into grab-and-go outfits?
⁠
I have a handful of VIP day spots available in the next few months and if you think you’d like to snag one, send me a DM and let’s talk.⁠

Or visit www.maincharactercloset.com - all the program details and pricing are outlined there. Link in bio.
⁠
I would love to help you find a style that makes you feel like the main damn character!
alexisbcoaching
alexisbcoaching
•
Follow
Feeling Frumpy...⁠ ⁠ When I work with clients in my Personal Style program, Main Character Closet™, the first step in the process is the prework. ⁠ ⁠ One of the questionnaires asks them to describe how they currently feel about their style.⁠ ⁠ And guess what word I see, time and again?⁠ ⁠ FRUMPY.⁠ ⁠ Hey, I get it! Lots of my clients were working from home during the pandemic. Some people I’ve worked with put on some weight and have resisted buying new clothes. Some haven’t bought new clothes in years and everything needs an upgrade. The one word they use to describe how they feel that they all have in common is “frumpy.⁠” ⁠ If you can relate, I want to work with you and help you find a style and clothes you love, in the body you have now. ❤️ ⁠ How would it FEEL to:⁠ ⁠ ✅ Have a complete, head-to-toe closet overhaul in the next month?⁠ ✅ Spend 4 hours with me finally finding a style you absolutely love, however you define it?⁠ ⁠ ✅ Have me pick you curated clothing and brands that fit your body, budget and style goals?⁠ ⁠ ✅ Get 30 days of email and text support as you shop and try things on and a 60-minute Zoom follow-up call to turn all those purchases into grab-and-go outfits? ⁠ I have a handful of VIP day spots available in the next few months and if you think you’d like to snag one, send me a DM and let’s talk.⁠ Or visit www.maincharactercloset.com - all the program details and pricing are outlined there. Link in bio. ⁠ I would love to help you find a style that makes you feel like the main damn character!
1 month ago
View on Instagram |
6/6
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