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Alexis Buhrman

Life Coaching, Motivation
/
January 25, 2022

Can’t make a decision? Try this!

If you can’t make a decision, this exercise is a game-changer!

Have you ever had a hard time making a decision because you know that decision is going to greatly impact your life and you want to be sure you make the best one?

I’m Alexis Buhrman, Coach and Creator of the do-it-yourself vision and goal-setting course, The 48-Hour Planning Retreat™. I help high-achieving professionals create lives with more purpose, peace and pleasure and one thing is for sure:

If you want to create a life you love, you’ve got to get comfortable making decisions.

I think people expect that our jobs as coaches is to give our clients advice when it comes to making decisions, but that’s not what a good, trained coach does.

In my experience, most people don’t benefit from advice. And here’s why.

We don’t want to do things we don’t want to do. It’s that simple.

I’m no exception.

If my coach were to tell me something I should do, and it didn’t feel right for me, I wouldn’t do it. I would likely try to find a way that would get me the results I’m searching for in a way that feels good for me.

You see, when it comes to decisions, other people’s advice isn’t always helpful.

Have your parents, your spouse, or your best friend ever given you advice you just didn’t agree with? Maybe influenced a decision you made that you regretted?

I mean, most of us have at one time or another. Because we think advice will help us. When in fact, it actually hurts us.

Why?

Because humans are all unique. Since we all have our own life experiences, strengths and values, each of us is going to look at the decision through our own lens of life.

The prescription in my glasses aren’t YOUR prescription, so we’re going to see things VERY differently.

As a coach, my job is not to tell you what to do, but to ask you questions that can help you make your own decision – one that is unique and right for your needs.

Today, I want to share one of my favorite coaching exercises – and it’s super simple and super effective if you’re stuck or trying to make a decision about your life.

Your future self-exercise.

I think we all want to know we’ve had a life well lived when we come to the end.

But we get so bogged down and busy in the day-to-day grind that we don’t think about the future, certainly not decades into the future, but only what’s right in front of us.

If you’re struggling to make a choice it’s probably because you’re thinking of the now – what’s going to happen as a result of making that choice right now, or in the next few months or even years.

But what do you think your future self would say? If you were able to ask your future self at 50, 60, 70 and beyond, what do you think they would have to say about this decision?

White woman sitting at a table in a coffee shop, holding a pen and writing pros and cons of making a decision in a journal

Here’s how you do the exercise in the simplest, easiest way.

Three questions.

You can do this even if you’re too busy to shave your legs, okay?

Get a piece of paper and let’s journal this out.

First question: What’s the decision you’re struggling to make?

Write it down.

Second question: What am I concerned about?

In my experience, I find we get stuck on making a decision because we get overwhelmed by all the what-ifs.

We start thinking about all the things that feel hard, all the things that could go wrong, what will happen if they go wrong and then we get into this freak out thought spiral.

Our brain starts to overwhelm us with all these thoughts and beliefs, and then more questions, right?

And I don’t want you to get in that spiral.

Because the truth is, you’re not a mind reader. Neither am I. You don’t know what will happen when you make the decision.

You might be so happy you did and wish you did it sooner. Or, you might regret it.

One thing is for sure. Nothing will happen until you make it happen.

Being afraid of all the things that could potentially go wrong shouldn’t keep us from making a decision.

We want to get all the fear and noise out of your head and on paper. All the concerns and fears.

We do this because sometimes it seems like there are a lot of “what-ifs” to overcome, but oftentimes when you see them all written down, they’re no big deal. Just details.

Like “What if I move and I don’t like the neighborhood?”

Get a new one when the lease is up, or rent something with a 6-month lease!

See what I mean?

When you address these concerns, you’ll likely find there are many that are easy to work through.

These are the questions I help my clients find answers to. But what about the ones that aren’t so cut and dry?

What if I leave my marriage and regret it? If I’m not smart enough for the job? What if I decide not to have children?

These are the questions that are hard to ask, but that I believe one person has the answers to.

Your future self.

I believe that deep down, we know what’s right for ourselves.

We just get stuck in our heads with all the details and fears and analysis paralysis. We stop trusting our gut and our inner compass, so we think we need to look outside of ourselves for the answers.

But nobody is looking at your life through your glasses, from your perspective. Except, of course, you. So ask yourself!

The third question: What advice would my future self give me?

If you’re staying in a deeply unhappy or unhealthy marriage because you think it’s what you’re supposed to do and you aren’t sure whether to leave or stay – what would your future self say?

What would she have done or wished you would have done looking back 5 years from now? 10? 20?

Are there things she’d regret or rejoice?

If you never went to college and always wanted to so you could get a better job, but you’re afraid you’re not smart enough, what would your future self want you to do?

What would it cost you 10 years from now if you stayed in the same job? In 20 years? What would your retirement look like? Could you retire?

What would be the cost of continuing to avoid making the decisions? Would your future self thin it was worth the price?

These may not sound like fun questions to ask, but some decisions in life aren’t fun to make. Some feel so scary but once made, feel like a huge burden has been lifted from your shoulders.

I truly believe we all have the answers we need within us – we just need to ask the right questions to access them.

Once you’ve made a choice, THEN you can start focusing on the details and what to do next.

And remember – life is full of choices and you can make new ones all the time. Just because you make one, doesn’t mean you can’t pivot if the decision didn’t turn out like you hoped.

So you leave a job you were comfortable in for a new one and realize it’s not a good fit.

You can find a new one! You don’t have to commit 100% to your decision if you get more information and realize it isn’t the right one for you.

Sometimes we just have to make the choice and go from there.

It’s not the end of the world.

Thank you so much for giving me the gift of your time. If you can’t make a decision about something, I hope this video was helpful.

I’d love to hear from you.

Have you tried the future-self exercise? If not, give it a go and let me know what you learned in the comments.

For more videos to help you create a life with more purpose, peace and pleasure, you can follow me on Facebook and Instagram @alexisbcoaching

WANT MORE SUPPORT TO CREATE A LIFE YOU LOVE?

Learn how to work with me.

 
TAGS:Life Coaching TipsPersonal DevelopmentPersonal Growth
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Alexis Buhrman

I help professional women bring more purpose, peace and pleasure into their lives, without sacrificing one for the other, to create a main character life. I teach my clients a strategy to work toward their business, professional, and personal goals in a sustainable, feel-good way, with more confidence, ease, joy, fun, and pleasure.

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Follow on Instagram

What’s your pain threshold on a scale of 1-10?

When I was home last month, I saw many of my oldest friends.
 
We talked about real-life stuff. Stuff we've struggled with, or are currently working through.
 
From alcoholism to smoking, stress eating to relationship struggles, everything was on the table.
 
What we all have in common is that we all have our own sabotages and ways of coping with life.
 
What we don't have in common is the exact timeline for when we are willing and/or able to change them.
 
People have different pain thresholds.
 
Some people can tolerate lots of pain. They can suffer in unhappiness for years. Think of people you know who've been in miserable marriages for decades.
 
Some people, like myself, tolerate little. My threshold is low. Not because I can't handle pain, but because I want to address issues before they become a big deal and I revert back to old Alexis and deal with my shit with a pack of Virginia Slim Light 120s and a bottle of Hendricks...
 
If you are tolerating things in your life that you want to change, here are some questions you can ask yourself:
 
1. Where do you rate your pain threshold on a 1-10, 1 being low tolerance and ten being highest?
 
2. Would that rating be the same if you were in the same place a year from now?
 
3. For how long, or under what circumstances are you willing to tolerate this issue?
 
4. What do you gain out of staying in the current situation?
 
5. And lastly, what number do you think you'd need to be at to finally be driven to make a change?
 
For me, it's a 2-3, max. It depends on the situation and its pros and cons.

For example, I'm tolerating that I can't have any damn plants in my house because I have cats that are complete assholes. But, I love these assholes, so a plantless life is something I am willing to tolerate...begrudgingly...
 
You may be tolerating something, but there are some reasons that make it work for you, too. Until you decide it doesn't anymore.
 
If you're below a five on the threshold scale and want to talk about what a change might look like and how I could help you, let’s talk.
 
Whatever your thoughts or fears, change is possible, and I am here for you.
•
Follow
What’s your pain threshold on a scale of 1-10? When I was home last month, I saw many of my oldest friends. We talked about real-life stuff. Stuff we've struggled with, or are currently working through. From alcoholism to smoking, stress eating to relationship struggles, everything was on the table. What we all have in common is that we all have our own sabotages and ways of coping with life. What we don't have in common is the exact timeline for when we are willing and/or able to change them. People have different pain thresholds. Some people can tolerate lots of pain. They can suffer in unhappiness for years. Think of people you know who've been in miserable marriages for decades. Some people, like myself, tolerate little. My threshold is low. Not because I can't handle pain, but because I want to address issues before they become a big deal and I revert back to old Alexis and deal with my shit with a pack of Virginia Slim Light 120s and a bottle of Hendricks... If you are tolerating things in your life that you want to change, here are some questions you can ask yourself: 1. Where do you rate your pain threshold on a 1-10, 1 being low tolerance and ten being highest? 2. Would that rating be the same if you were in the same place a year from now? 3. For how long, or under what circumstances are you willing to tolerate this issue? 4. What do you gain out of staying in the current situation? 5. And lastly, what number do you think you'd need to be at to finally be driven to make a change? For me, it's a 2-3, max. It depends on the situation and its pros and cons. For example, I'm tolerating that I can't have any damn plants in my house because I have cats that are complete assholes. But, I love these assholes, so a plantless life is something I am willing to tolerate...begrudgingly... You may be tolerating something, but there are some reasons that make it work for you, too. Until you decide it doesn't anymore. If you're below a five on the threshold scale and want to talk about what a change might look like and how I could help you, let’s talk. Whatever your thoughts or fears, change is possible, and I am here for you.
9 months ago
View on Instagram |
1/4
The first six months of the year are officially over. WHAT?! WHERE?! HOW?! 🤣

Maybe you started 2022 with goals for the year and you're making progress. Awesome! Maybe you're feeling behind.

Maybe you didn’t give a damn about goals because, you know, America is basically on fire…

You know me. I'm all about evaluating things in a non-judgmental, curious way: what's working, what isn't, and what am I going to do about it.

If you feel like evaluating where you're at today, now could be a great time to get started.

If you haven't made the progress you hoped for at the start of the year, this could be a great opportunity to get curious about why, so you can start making shifts and changes.

If 2022 hasn't been what you hoped, that's okay. Let's focus on today and what is possible moving forward.

Where would you like to be on New Year's Eve six months from now?

Who do you hope to be?

How do you want to feel?

What do you hope would be different between then and now?

If you are ready to take action and need support, I would love to work with you.

In April, I launched a beta run for my new program. Participants spent two days with me in a virtual retreat, getting crystal clear on the life they wanted to create and their goals, LIVE in my online course, The 48-Hour Planning Retreat™.

I took feedback, refined the process, and expanded the program to provide more support, and now I'm relaunching it – my beta 2.0.

❌  If you feel stuck and you're not getting the outcomes you want, this program may be right for you.

❌  If you missed the last round and don't want to miss out this time, this program may be right for you.

❌  If you have been trying to make changes, but they're not working, and you need to shake things up and try something different, this program may be right for you.

Enrollment and space are limited because of the intimacy and personalization of the program. I have spots open now through September.

Interested in learning more? DM me or Comment “BETA” and I’ll send you an outline of what you get, and if you’re still interested, a link to book a no-pressure discovery call.

I would be honored to work with you through the rest of this year!
•
Follow
The first six months of the year are officially over. WHAT?! WHERE?! HOW?! 🤣 Maybe you started 2022 with goals for the year and you're making progress. Awesome! Maybe you're feeling behind. Maybe you didn’t give a damn about goals because, you know, America is basically on fire… You know me. I'm all about evaluating things in a non-judgmental, curious way: what's working, what isn't, and what am I going to do about it. If you feel like evaluating where you're at today, now could be a great time to get started. If you haven't made the progress you hoped for at the start of the year, this could be a great opportunity to get curious about why, so you can start making shifts and changes. If 2022 hasn't been what you hoped, that's okay. Let's focus on today and what is possible moving forward. Where would you like to be on New Year's Eve six months from now? Who do you hope to be? How do you want to feel? What do you hope would be different between then and now? If you are ready to take action and need support, I would love to work with you. In April, I launched a beta run for my new program. Participants spent two days with me in a virtual retreat, getting crystal clear on the life they wanted to create and their goals, LIVE in my online course, The 48-Hour Planning Retreat™. I took feedback, refined the process, and expanded the program to provide more support, and now I'm relaunching it – my beta 2.0. ❌ If you feel stuck and you're not getting the outcomes you want, this program may be right for you. ❌ If you missed the last round and don't want to miss out this time, this program may be right for you. ❌ If you have been trying to make changes, but they're not working, and you need to shake things up and try something different, this program may be right for you. Enrollment and space are limited because of the intimacy and personalization of the program. I have spots open now through September. Interested in learning more? DM me or Comment “BETA” and I’ll send you an outline of what you get, and if you’re still interested, a link to book a no-pressure discovery call. I would be honored to work with you through the rest of this year!
9 months ago
View on Instagram |
2/4
Jim Hopper is my boyfriend. 😘⁠
⁠
I love Stranger Things. I counted down the days to the season 4 drop, and it did not disappoint. The soundtrack was fantastic. The acting and writing were stellar.⁠
⁠
And then there was Jim Hopper.⁠
⁠
Friend, I have a mad crush on David Harbour. If Alexis has a "type," it's his role as Jim Hopper.⁠
⁠
✅ Amazing dance moves⁠
✅ 6’3” with a haaaaawwwwwtttt dad bod + cop uniform⁠
✅ Looking like a SNACK⁠
✅ Saves the damn day⁠
⁠
Hopper is the stuff my fantasies are made of. 🤣⁠
⁠
Without giving away spoilers, Hopper goes through several transformations/evolutions throughout the show.⁠
⁠
We see his backstory and how he copes with life.⁠
⁠
My therapist calls coping mechanisms "pressure valves," and I think it's a great way to describe how people cope with stress - with understanding and without judgment.⁠
⁠
Had a hard day? Pull on your personal brand of pressure valve = release pressure.⁠
⁠
For some, that's alcohol. For others, it’s online shopping, porn, gambling, or numbing out.⁠
⁠
For me, it used to be smoking.⁠
⁠
It's how I dealt with stress and trauma before I had other resources. Even as an adult, it was my go-to pressure valve.⁠
⁠
I'm talking to people right now about how they are dealing with the layers of compounding trauma from the last few years. If you’re in the U.S., it feels like there is a crisis almost daily these days.⁠
⁠
We aren't meant to deal with chronic stress, so we look for ways to cope and release the pressure of life.⁠
⁠
Everyone has a different pressure valve.⁠
⁠
Like my boyfriend, Jim Hopper, we can get through hard times.⁠
⁠
We can find ways to release the pressures that are helpful, not harmful.⁠
⁠
Wherever you are right now, and however you're coping with life, I see you.⁠
⁠
If you're over-drinking, hiding boxes of online orders from your spouse, or numbing out on social media, I accept you without judgment.⁠
⁠
And, as always, I'm here for you.⁠
⁠
Sending you high-fives and 80s vibes, ⁠
⁠
Alexis
•
Follow
Jim Hopper is my boyfriend. 😘⁠ ⁠ I love Stranger Things. I counted down the days to the season 4 drop, and it did not disappoint. The soundtrack was fantastic. The acting and writing were stellar.⁠ ⁠ And then there was Jim Hopper.⁠ ⁠ Friend, I have a mad crush on David Harbour. If Alexis has a "type," it's his role as Jim Hopper.⁠ ⁠ ✅ Amazing dance moves⁠ ✅ 6’3” with a haaaaawwwwwtttt dad bod + cop uniform⁠ ✅ Looking like a SNACK⁠ ✅ Saves the damn day⁠ ⁠ Hopper is the stuff my fantasies are made of. 🤣⁠ ⁠ Without giving away spoilers, Hopper goes through several transformations/evolutions throughout the show.⁠ ⁠ We see his backstory and how he copes with life.⁠ ⁠ My therapist calls coping mechanisms "pressure valves," and I think it's a great way to describe how people cope with stress - with understanding and without judgment.⁠ ⁠ Had a hard day? Pull on your personal brand of pressure valve = release pressure.⁠ ⁠ For some, that's alcohol. For others, it’s online shopping, porn, gambling, or numbing out.⁠ ⁠ For me, it used to be smoking.⁠ ⁠ It's how I dealt with stress and trauma before I had other resources. Even as an adult, it was my go-to pressure valve.⁠ ⁠ I'm talking to people right now about how they are dealing with the layers of compounding trauma from the last few years. If you’re in the U.S., it feels like there is a crisis almost daily these days.⁠ ⁠ We aren't meant to deal with chronic stress, so we look for ways to cope and release the pressure of life.⁠ ⁠ Everyone has a different pressure valve.⁠ ⁠ Like my boyfriend, Jim Hopper, we can get through hard times.⁠ ⁠ We can find ways to release the pressures that are helpful, not harmful.⁠ ⁠ Wherever you are right now, and however you're coping with life, I see you.⁠ ⁠ If you're over-drinking, hiding boxes of online orders from your spouse, or numbing out on social media, I accept you without judgment.⁠ ⁠ And, as always, I'm here for you.⁠ ⁠ Sending you high-fives and 80s vibes, ⁠ ⁠ Alexis
9 months ago
View on Instagram |
3/4
If you don't want to read about "lady business" and cat buttholes, keep scrolling. 🤣⁠
⁠
I have THE WORST cramps. I always have. For two days, I'm destroyed.⁠
⁠
Eric knows the drill...that THIS IS NOT A DRILL!⁠
⁠
☑️ All cats on deck!⁠
⁠
☑️ Electric hot pad at all times!⁠
⁠
☑️ Blankets!⁠
⁠
☑️ Totino's pizza!⁠
⁠
☑️ Box of tissue because I will cry for two days at literally anything. If a squirrel is playing in the front yard or we're out of Totino's pizza. TEARS! ⁠
⁠
When I worked in advertising, it was rough. It's hard to find a gap to take 2-3 days off for vacation. Certainly not every month.⁠
⁠
While I love that more and more amazing companies are providing unlimited menstrual leave, it's not a standard. But that's a rant for another day… ⁠
⁠
Taking off these couple of days every month is one of the most significant benefits of starting my own business.⁠
⁠
Other unexpected benefits are having time to see family and friends more than 1-2x a year and sleeping as long as I need.⁠
⁠
I don't have to commute. I set my schedule to start later in the morning. If I need to, I can sleep a little later.⁠
⁠
I know this is a privilege since I don't have kids. Still, it was a benefit I purposefully identified as something I wanted when I left advertising, after more than a decade of terrible insomnia. ⁠
⁠
These benefits might not be what comes to mind when you imagine what "living your best life" looks like. They don't make for insta-worthy photos!⁠
⁠
But I think these little benefits make my life richer and give me more energy for those insta-worthy goals.⁠
⁠
Traveling is great, but IDK…sleeping in with Eric and morning snuggles are pretty great, too. (And then, of course, the cats because the SECOND I wake up, their radars go off, and there they are, on the bed, butts up in my face.)⁠
⁠
Literally over here, just waking up to three cat buttholes, living my best damn life!⁠
⁠
Buttholes aside, what are some simple benefits you could enjoy in your life if you said yes to something you want?⁠
⁠
If you feel like sharing, let me know in the comments. 👇🏻⁠
⁠
Sending you high-fives, snuggle vibes, and thanks if you stayed for all the lady business and cat butthole content!
•
Follow
If you don't want to read about "lady business" and cat buttholes, keep scrolling. 🤣⁠ ⁠ I have THE WORST cramps. I always have. For two days, I'm destroyed.⁠ ⁠ Eric knows the drill...that THIS IS NOT A DRILL!⁠ ⁠ ☑️ All cats on deck!⁠ ⁠ ☑️ Electric hot pad at all times!⁠ ⁠ ☑️ Blankets!⁠ ⁠ ☑️ Totino's pizza!⁠ ⁠ ☑️ Box of tissue because I will cry for two days at literally anything. If a squirrel is playing in the front yard or we're out of Totino's pizza. TEARS! ⁠ ⁠ When I worked in advertising, it was rough. It's hard to find a gap to take 2-3 days off for vacation. Certainly not every month.⁠ ⁠ While I love that more and more amazing companies are providing unlimited menstrual leave, it's not a standard. But that's a rant for another day… ⁠ ⁠ Taking off these couple of days every month is one of the most significant benefits of starting my own business.⁠ ⁠ Other unexpected benefits are having time to see family and friends more than 1-2x a year and sleeping as long as I need.⁠ ⁠ I don't have to commute. I set my schedule to start later in the morning. If I need to, I can sleep a little later.⁠ ⁠ I know this is a privilege since I don't have kids. Still, it was a benefit I purposefully identified as something I wanted when I left advertising, after more than a decade of terrible insomnia. ⁠ ⁠ These benefits might not be what comes to mind when you imagine what "living your best life" looks like. They don't make for insta-worthy photos!⁠ ⁠ But I think these little benefits make my life richer and give me more energy for those insta-worthy goals.⁠ ⁠ Traveling is great, but IDK…sleeping in with Eric and morning snuggles are pretty great, too. (And then, of course, the cats because the SECOND I wake up, their radars go off, and there they are, on the bed, butts up in my face.)⁠ ⁠ Literally over here, just waking up to three cat buttholes, living my best damn life!⁠ ⁠ Buttholes aside, what are some simple benefits you could enjoy in your life if you said yes to something you want?⁠ ⁠ If you feel like sharing, let me know in the comments. 👇🏻⁠ ⁠ Sending you high-fives, snuggle vibes, and thanks if you stayed for all the lady business and cat butthole content!
10 months ago
View on Instagram |
4/4

Categories

  • Goals
  • Inspiration
  • Life Coaching
  • Motivation
  • Uncategorized

@alexisbcoaching

What’s your pain threshold on a scale of 1-10?

When I was home last month, I saw many of my oldest friends.
 
We talked about real-life stuff. Stuff we've struggled with, or are currently working through.
 
From alcoholism to smoking, stress eating to relationship struggles, everything was on the table.
 
What we all have in common is that we all have our own sabotages and ways of coping with life.
 
What we don't have in common is the exact timeline for when we are willing and/or able to change them.
 
People have different pain thresholds.
 
Some people can tolerate lots of pain. They can suffer in unhappiness for years. Think of people you know who've been in miserable marriages for decades.
 
Some people, like myself, tolerate little. My threshold is low. Not because I can't handle pain, but because I want to address issues before they become a big deal and I revert back to old Alexis and deal with my shit with a pack of Virginia Slim Light 120s and a bottle of Hendricks...
 
If you are tolerating things in your life that you want to change, here are some questions you can ask yourself:
 
1. Where do you rate your pain threshold on a 1-10, 1 being low tolerance and ten being highest?
 
2. Would that rating be the same if you were in the same place a year from now?
 
3. For how long, or under what circumstances are you willing to tolerate this issue?
 
4. What do you gain out of staying in the current situation?
 
5. And lastly, what number do you think you'd need to be at to finally be driven to make a change?
 
For me, it's a 2-3, max. It depends on the situation and its pros and cons.

For example, I'm tolerating that I can't have any damn plants in my house because I have cats that are complete assholes. But, I love these assholes, so a plantless life is something I am willing to tolerate...begrudgingly...
 
You may be tolerating something, but there are some reasons that make it work for you, too. Until you decide it doesn't anymore.
 
If you're below a five on the threshold scale and want to talk about what a change might look like and how I could help you, let’s talk.
 
Whatever your thoughts or fears, change is possible, and I am here for you.
•
Follow
What’s your pain threshold on a scale of 1-10? When I was home last month, I saw many of my oldest friends. We talked about real-life stuff. Stuff we've struggled with, or are currently working through. From alcoholism to smoking, stress eating to relationship struggles, everything was on the table. What we all have in common is that we all have our own sabotages and ways of coping with life. What we don't have in common is the exact timeline for when we are willing and/or able to change them. People have different pain thresholds. Some people can tolerate lots of pain. They can suffer in unhappiness for years. Think of people you know who've been in miserable marriages for decades. Some people, like myself, tolerate little. My threshold is low. Not because I can't handle pain, but because I want to address issues before they become a big deal and I revert back to old Alexis and deal with my shit with a pack of Virginia Slim Light 120s and a bottle of Hendricks... If you are tolerating things in your life that you want to change, here are some questions you can ask yourself: 1. Where do you rate your pain threshold on a 1-10, 1 being low tolerance and ten being highest? 2. Would that rating be the same if you were in the same place a year from now? 3. For how long, or under what circumstances are you willing to tolerate this issue? 4. What do you gain out of staying in the current situation? 5. And lastly, what number do you think you'd need to be at to finally be driven to make a change? For me, it's a 2-3, max. It depends on the situation and its pros and cons. For example, I'm tolerating that I can't have any damn plants in my house because I have cats that are complete assholes. But, I love these assholes, so a plantless life is something I am willing to tolerate...begrudgingly... You may be tolerating something, but there are some reasons that make it work for you, too. Until you decide it doesn't anymore. If you're below a five on the threshold scale and want to talk about what a change might look like and how I could help you, let’s talk. Whatever your thoughts or fears, change is possible, and I am here for you.
9 months ago
View on Instagram |
1/6
The first six months of the year are officially over. WHAT?! WHERE?! HOW?! 🤣

Maybe you started 2022 with goals for the year and you're making progress. Awesome! Maybe you're feeling behind.

Maybe you didn’t give a damn about goals because, you know, America is basically on fire…

You know me. I'm all about evaluating things in a non-judgmental, curious way: what's working, what isn't, and what am I going to do about it.

If you feel like evaluating where you're at today, now could be a great time to get started.

If you haven't made the progress you hoped for at the start of the year, this could be a great opportunity to get curious about why, so you can start making shifts and changes.

If 2022 hasn't been what you hoped, that's okay. Let's focus on today and what is possible moving forward.

Where would you like to be on New Year's Eve six months from now?

Who do you hope to be?

How do you want to feel?

What do you hope would be different between then and now?

If you are ready to take action and need support, I would love to work with you.

In April, I launched a beta run for my new program. Participants spent two days with me in a virtual retreat, getting crystal clear on the life they wanted to create and their goals, LIVE in my online course, The 48-Hour Planning Retreat™.

I took feedback, refined the process, and expanded the program to provide more support, and now I'm relaunching it – my beta 2.0.

❌  If you feel stuck and you're not getting the outcomes you want, this program may be right for you.

❌  If you missed the last round and don't want to miss out this time, this program may be right for you.

❌  If you have been trying to make changes, but they're not working, and you need to shake things up and try something different, this program may be right for you.

Enrollment and space are limited because of the intimacy and personalization of the program. I have spots open now through September.

Interested in learning more? DM me or Comment “BETA” and I’ll send you an outline of what you get, and if you’re still interested, a link to book a no-pressure discovery call.

I would be honored to work with you through the rest of this year!
•
Follow
The first six months of the year are officially over. WHAT?! WHERE?! HOW?! 🤣 Maybe you started 2022 with goals for the year and you're making progress. Awesome! Maybe you're feeling behind. Maybe you didn’t give a damn about goals because, you know, America is basically on fire… You know me. I'm all about evaluating things in a non-judgmental, curious way: what's working, what isn't, and what am I going to do about it. If you feel like evaluating where you're at today, now could be a great time to get started. If you haven't made the progress you hoped for at the start of the year, this could be a great opportunity to get curious about why, so you can start making shifts and changes. If 2022 hasn't been what you hoped, that's okay. Let's focus on today and what is possible moving forward. Where would you like to be on New Year's Eve six months from now? Who do you hope to be? How do you want to feel? What do you hope would be different between then and now? If you are ready to take action and need support, I would love to work with you. In April, I launched a beta run for my new program. Participants spent two days with me in a virtual retreat, getting crystal clear on the life they wanted to create and their goals, LIVE in my online course, The 48-Hour Planning Retreat™. I took feedback, refined the process, and expanded the program to provide more support, and now I'm relaunching it – my beta 2.0. ❌ If you feel stuck and you're not getting the outcomes you want, this program may be right for you. ❌ If you missed the last round and don't want to miss out this time, this program may be right for you. ❌ If you have been trying to make changes, but they're not working, and you need to shake things up and try something different, this program may be right for you. Enrollment and space are limited because of the intimacy and personalization of the program. I have spots open now through September. Interested in learning more? DM me or Comment “BETA” and I’ll send you an outline of what you get, and if you’re still interested, a link to book a no-pressure discovery call. I would be honored to work with you through the rest of this year!
9 months ago
View on Instagram |
2/6
Jim Hopper is my boyfriend. 😘⁠
⁠
I love Stranger Things. I counted down the days to the season 4 drop, and it did not disappoint. The soundtrack was fantastic. The acting and writing were stellar.⁠
⁠
And then there was Jim Hopper.⁠
⁠
Friend, I have a mad crush on David Harbour. If Alexis has a "type," it's his role as Jim Hopper.⁠
⁠
✅ Amazing dance moves⁠
✅ 6’3” with a haaaaawwwwwtttt dad bod + cop uniform⁠
✅ Looking like a SNACK⁠
✅ Saves the damn day⁠
⁠
Hopper is the stuff my fantasies are made of. 🤣⁠
⁠
Without giving away spoilers, Hopper goes through several transformations/evolutions throughout the show.⁠
⁠
We see his backstory and how he copes with life.⁠
⁠
My therapist calls coping mechanisms "pressure valves," and I think it's a great way to describe how people cope with stress - with understanding and without judgment.⁠
⁠
Had a hard day? Pull on your personal brand of pressure valve = release pressure.⁠
⁠
For some, that's alcohol. For others, it’s online shopping, porn, gambling, or numbing out.⁠
⁠
For me, it used to be smoking.⁠
⁠
It's how I dealt with stress and trauma before I had other resources. Even as an adult, it was my go-to pressure valve.⁠
⁠
I'm talking to people right now about how they are dealing with the layers of compounding trauma from the last few years. If you’re in the U.S., it feels like there is a crisis almost daily these days.⁠
⁠
We aren't meant to deal with chronic stress, so we look for ways to cope and release the pressure of life.⁠
⁠
Everyone has a different pressure valve.⁠
⁠
Like my boyfriend, Jim Hopper, we can get through hard times.⁠
⁠
We can find ways to release the pressures that are helpful, not harmful.⁠
⁠
Wherever you are right now, and however you're coping with life, I see you.⁠
⁠
If you're over-drinking, hiding boxes of online orders from your spouse, or numbing out on social media, I accept you without judgment.⁠
⁠
And, as always, I'm here for you.⁠
⁠
Sending you high-fives and 80s vibes, ⁠
⁠
Alexis
•
Follow
Jim Hopper is my boyfriend. 😘⁠ ⁠ I love Stranger Things. I counted down the days to the season 4 drop, and it did not disappoint. The soundtrack was fantastic. The acting and writing were stellar.⁠ ⁠ And then there was Jim Hopper.⁠ ⁠ Friend, I have a mad crush on David Harbour. If Alexis has a "type," it's his role as Jim Hopper.⁠ ⁠ ✅ Amazing dance moves⁠ ✅ 6’3” with a haaaaawwwwwtttt dad bod + cop uniform⁠ ✅ Looking like a SNACK⁠ ✅ Saves the damn day⁠ ⁠ Hopper is the stuff my fantasies are made of. 🤣⁠ ⁠ Without giving away spoilers, Hopper goes through several transformations/evolutions throughout the show.⁠ ⁠ We see his backstory and how he copes with life.⁠ ⁠ My therapist calls coping mechanisms "pressure valves," and I think it's a great way to describe how people cope with stress - with understanding and without judgment.⁠ ⁠ Had a hard day? Pull on your personal brand of pressure valve = release pressure.⁠ ⁠ For some, that's alcohol. For others, it’s online shopping, porn, gambling, or numbing out.⁠ ⁠ For me, it used to be smoking.⁠ ⁠ It's how I dealt with stress and trauma before I had other resources. Even as an adult, it was my go-to pressure valve.⁠ ⁠ I'm talking to people right now about how they are dealing with the layers of compounding trauma from the last few years. If you’re in the U.S., it feels like there is a crisis almost daily these days.⁠ ⁠ We aren't meant to deal with chronic stress, so we look for ways to cope and release the pressure of life.⁠ ⁠ Everyone has a different pressure valve.⁠ ⁠ Like my boyfriend, Jim Hopper, we can get through hard times.⁠ ⁠ We can find ways to release the pressures that are helpful, not harmful.⁠ ⁠ Wherever you are right now, and however you're coping with life, I see you.⁠ ⁠ If you're over-drinking, hiding boxes of online orders from your spouse, or numbing out on social media, I accept you without judgment.⁠ ⁠ And, as always, I'm here for you.⁠ ⁠ Sending you high-fives and 80s vibes, ⁠ ⁠ Alexis
9 months ago
View on Instagram |
3/6
If you don't want to read about "lady business" and cat buttholes, keep scrolling. 🤣⁠
⁠
I have THE WORST cramps. I always have. For two days, I'm destroyed.⁠
⁠
Eric knows the drill...that THIS IS NOT A DRILL!⁠
⁠
☑️ All cats on deck!⁠
⁠
☑️ Electric hot pad at all times!⁠
⁠
☑️ Blankets!⁠
⁠
☑️ Totino's pizza!⁠
⁠
☑️ Box of tissue because I will cry for two days at literally anything. If a squirrel is playing in the front yard or we're out of Totino's pizza. TEARS! ⁠
⁠
When I worked in advertising, it was rough. It's hard to find a gap to take 2-3 days off for vacation. Certainly not every month.⁠
⁠
While I love that more and more amazing companies are providing unlimited menstrual leave, it's not a standard. But that's a rant for another day… ⁠
⁠
Taking off these couple of days every month is one of the most significant benefits of starting my own business.⁠
⁠
Other unexpected benefits are having time to see family and friends more than 1-2x a year and sleeping as long as I need.⁠
⁠
I don't have to commute. I set my schedule to start later in the morning. If I need to, I can sleep a little later.⁠
⁠
I know this is a privilege since I don't have kids. Still, it was a benefit I purposefully identified as something I wanted when I left advertising, after more than a decade of terrible insomnia. ⁠
⁠
These benefits might not be what comes to mind when you imagine what "living your best life" looks like. They don't make for insta-worthy photos!⁠
⁠
But I think these little benefits make my life richer and give me more energy for those insta-worthy goals.⁠
⁠
Traveling is great, but IDK…sleeping in with Eric and morning snuggles are pretty great, too. (And then, of course, the cats because the SECOND I wake up, their radars go off, and there they are, on the bed, butts up in my face.)⁠
⁠
Literally over here, just waking up to three cat buttholes, living my best damn life!⁠
⁠
Buttholes aside, what are some simple benefits you could enjoy in your life if you said yes to something you want?⁠
⁠
If you feel like sharing, let me know in the comments. 👇🏻⁠
⁠
Sending you high-fives, snuggle vibes, and thanks if you stayed for all the lady business and cat butthole content!
•
Follow
If you don't want to read about "lady business" and cat buttholes, keep scrolling. 🤣⁠ ⁠ I have THE WORST cramps. I always have. For two days, I'm destroyed.⁠ ⁠ Eric knows the drill...that THIS IS NOT A DRILL!⁠ ⁠ ☑️ All cats on deck!⁠ ⁠ ☑️ Electric hot pad at all times!⁠ ⁠ ☑️ Blankets!⁠ ⁠ ☑️ Totino's pizza!⁠ ⁠ ☑️ Box of tissue because I will cry for two days at literally anything. If a squirrel is playing in the front yard or we're out of Totino's pizza. TEARS! ⁠ ⁠ When I worked in advertising, it was rough. It's hard to find a gap to take 2-3 days off for vacation. Certainly not every month.⁠ ⁠ While I love that more and more amazing companies are providing unlimited menstrual leave, it's not a standard. But that's a rant for another day… ⁠ ⁠ Taking off these couple of days every month is one of the most significant benefits of starting my own business.⁠ ⁠ Other unexpected benefits are having time to see family and friends more than 1-2x a year and sleeping as long as I need.⁠ ⁠ I don't have to commute. I set my schedule to start later in the morning. If I need to, I can sleep a little later.⁠ ⁠ I know this is a privilege since I don't have kids. Still, it was a benefit I purposefully identified as something I wanted when I left advertising, after more than a decade of terrible insomnia. ⁠ ⁠ These benefits might not be what comes to mind when you imagine what "living your best life" looks like. They don't make for insta-worthy photos!⁠ ⁠ But I think these little benefits make my life richer and give me more energy for those insta-worthy goals.⁠ ⁠ Traveling is great, but IDK…sleeping in with Eric and morning snuggles are pretty great, too. (And then, of course, the cats because the SECOND I wake up, their radars go off, and there they are, on the bed, butts up in my face.)⁠ ⁠ Literally over here, just waking up to three cat buttholes, living my best damn life!⁠ ⁠ Buttholes aside, what are some simple benefits you could enjoy in your life if you said yes to something you want?⁠ ⁠ If you feel like sharing, let me know in the comments. 👇🏻⁠ ⁠ Sending you high-fives, snuggle vibes, and thanks if you stayed for all the lady business and cat butthole content!
10 months ago
View on Instagram |
4/6
When I read this quote from Brianna Wiest’s The Mountain Is You, it immediately got my attention.⁠
 ⁠
If you want a different life, it’s going to cost you your old one. While that may sound simple, it’s complex.⁠
⁠
Often we don’t love how our lives look, but we’re comfortable in them.⁠
⁠
Some of us stay in an unhappy marriage because ignoring our problems is easier (and less painful) than having tough conversations, seeing a marriage counselor, or leaving.⁠
⁠
Some of us stay in a job that doesn’t let us use our strengths because it’s safer than going for the job that comes with more responsibility.⁠
⁠
And some of us have dreams that get put on the “someday” list, even though for most, “someday” usually turns into “never.”⁠
⁠
We don’t read the books we shoved in the back of the bookshelf, right? They collect dust, forgotten about.⁠
⁠
The change puts us out of our comfort zone.⁠
⁠
The comfort zone is safer to stay in, it’s true.⁠
⁠
It’s a place to settle, not to thrive.⁠
⁠
When we settle, we forget how to be hungry for things we want. Better relationships. More purpose in our work. More joy and pleasure in our lives.⁠
⁠
When we forget how it FEELS to be hungry, we settle for whatever is on the table.⁠
 ⁠
I want you to get hungry because I promise you, if you’re settling, your new life is worth the cost of the old one.⁠
⁠
Once you take a bite into your new life, you will realize the cost is worth paying.⁠
⁠
What are you hungry for, friend?⁠
⁠
If this post hits a nerve and you’re interested in chatting about how I can support you in coaching - taking those “someday” goals off the dusty-ass shelf and start working toward them today, DM me or write “coaching” in the comments. I’ll send you a link to book a discovery chat.⁠
⁠
Sending you support, hugs, and a nudge - might now be a great time to spring clean your life?⁠

Alexis
When I read this quote from Brianna Wiest’s The Mountain Is You, it immediately got my attention.⁠
 ⁠
If you want a different life, it’s going to cost you your old one. While that may sound simple, it’s complex.⁠
⁠
Often we don’t love how our lives look, but we’re comfortable in them.⁠
⁠
Some of us stay in an unhappy marriage because ignoring our problems is easier (and less painful) than having tough conversations, seeing a marriage counselor, or leaving.⁠
⁠
Some of us stay in a job that doesn’t let us use our strengths because it’s safer than going for the job that comes with more responsibility.⁠
⁠
And some of us have dreams that get put on the “someday” list, even though for most, “someday” usually turns into “never.”⁠
⁠
We don’t read the books we shoved in the back of the bookshelf, right? They collect dust, forgotten about.⁠
⁠
The change puts us out of our comfort zone.⁠
⁠
The comfort zone is safer to stay in, it’s true.⁠
⁠
It’s a place to settle, not to thrive.⁠
⁠
When we settle, we forget how to be hungry for things we want. Better relationships. More purpose in our work. More joy and pleasure in our lives.⁠
⁠
When we forget how it FEELS to be hungry, we settle for whatever is on the table.⁠
 ⁠
I want you to get hungry because I promise you, if you’re settling, your new life is worth the cost of the old one.⁠
⁠
Once you take a bite into your new life, you will realize the cost is worth paying.⁠
⁠
What are you hungry for, friend?⁠
⁠
If this post hits a nerve and you’re interested in chatting about how I can support you in coaching - taking those “someday” goals off the dusty-ass shelf and start working toward them today, DM me or write “coaching” in the comments. I’ll send you a link to book a discovery chat.⁠
⁠
Sending you support, hugs, and a nudge - might now be a great time to spring clean your life?⁠

Alexis
When I read this quote from Brianna Wiest’s The Mountain Is You, it immediately got my attention.⁠
 ⁠
If you want a different life, it’s going to cost you your old one. While that may sound simple, it’s complex.⁠
⁠
Often we don’t love how our lives look, but we’re comfortable in them.⁠
⁠
Some of us stay in an unhappy marriage because ignoring our problems is easier (and less painful) than having tough conversations, seeing a marriage counselor, or leaving.⁠
⁠
Some of us stay in a job that doesn’t let us use our strengths because it’s safer than going for the job that comes with more responsibility.⁠
⁠
And some of us have dreams that get put on the “someday” list, even though for most, “someday” usually turns into “never.”⁠
⁠
We don’t read the books we shoved in the back of the bookshelf, right? They collect dust, forgotten about.⁠
⁠
The change puts us out of our comfort zone.⁠
⁠
The comfort zone is safer to stay in, it’s true.⁠
⁠
It’s a place to settle, not to thrive.⁠
⁠
When we settle, we forget how to be hungry for things we want. Better relationships. More purpose in our work. More joy and pleasure in our lives.⁠
⁠
When we forget how it FEELS to be hungry, we settle for whatever is on the table.⁠
 ⁠
I want you to get hungry because I promise you, if you’re settling, your new life is worth the cost of the old one.⁠
⁠
Once you take a bite into your new life, you will realize the cost is worth paying.⁠
⁠
What are you hungry for, friend?⁠
⁠
If this post hits a nerve and you’re interested in chatting about how I can support you in coaching - taking those “someday” goals off the dusty-ass shelf and start working toward them today, DM me or write “coaching” in the comments. I’ll send you a link to book a discovery chat.⁠
⁠
Sending you support, hugs, and a nudge - might now be a great time to spring clean your life?⁠

Alexis
•
Follow
When I read this quote from Brianna Wiest’s The Mountain Is You, it immediately got my attention.⁠ ⁠ If you want a different life, it’s going to cost you your old one. While that may sound simple, it’s complex.⁠ ⁠ Often we don’t love how our lives look, but we’re comfortable in them.⁠ ⁠ Some of us stay in an unhappy marriage because ignoring our problems is easier (and less painful) than having tough conversations, seeing a marriage counselor, or leaving.⁠ ⁠ Some of us stay in a job that doesn’t let us use our strengths because it’s safer than going for the job that comes with more responsibility.⁠ ⁠ And some of us have dreams that get put on the “someday” list, even though for most, “someday” usually turns into “never.”⁠ ⁠ We don’t read the books we shoved in the back of the bookshelf, right? They collect dust, forgotten about.⁠ ⁠ The change puts us out of our comfort zone.⁠ ⁠ The comfort zone is safer to stay in, it’s true.⁠ ⁠ It’s a place to settle, not to thrive.⁠ ⁠ When we settle, we forget how to be hungry for things we want. Better relationships. More purpose in our work. More joy and pleasure in our lives.⁠ ⁠ When we forget how it FEELS to be hungry, we settle for whatever is on the table.⁠ ⁠ I want you to get hungry because I promise you, if you’re settling, your new life is worth the cost of the old one.⁠ ⁠ Once you take a bite into your new life, you will realize the cost is worth paying.⁠ ⁠ What are you hungry for, friend?⁠ ⁠ If this post hits a nerve and you’re interested in chatting about how I can support you in coaching - taking those “someday” goals off the dusty-ass shelf and start working toward them today, DM me or write “coaching” in the comments. I’ll send you a link to book a discovery chat.⁠ ⁠ Sending you support, hugs, and a nudge - might now be a great time to spring clean your life?⁠ Alexis
1 year ago
View on Instagram |
5/6
Are you the star of your own show or playing a supporting role?

The first time I heard of this concept, it turned me off. Right away, I thought of Mean Girls, with the star being a selfish bitch and the supporting role being the person we should aim to be. 🤣

The second time I heard it, though, it made more sense.

Being the star of the show isn’t about being the center of attention at the expense of others, but being the center of your own attention and care so you can live to your full potential.

Main characters take fantastic care of themselves and, as a result, are fantastic to be around. They encourage others to take care of themselves and lead any example.

Main characters go after what they want. That lets others see that it's possible (and the world isn’t going to fall apart) if they go after what they want, too.

Main characters don’t deny themselves joy or feel guilty for feeling it.

I know I’ve played a supporting role in my life before. If you know my loud, leopard-print-wearing ass personally, you might disagree, haha, but I wasn’t always bringing the main character energy to life.

The good lotion and fancy candles were only for special occasions. I didn’t wear things I loved because I didn’t feel thin enough to be “allowed” to wear them. 

But last night I went on a hot date with my man and wore a dress I love that fits my current body. I ate what I wanted and didn’t feel bad about it. I had fun, laughed, and flirted with Eric and it was a perfect night. I was full-on leading lady.

I wish main character me could go back and tell the past, supporting role me she is allowed to enjoy her life fully and go after what she wants.

Not when she’s earned it. Not when she’s good enough. Not when she’s smart enough.

Because she deserves it.

We all do.

It’s never too late to be the main character, friend.

What’s one area of your life you’re feeling like you’re showing up in the supporting role?

What would happen if you just showed up as the main character? What could be possible for you?

Sending you hugs, standing ovations, and permission to wear the expensive perfume you’ve been saving for a special occasion…(today is a special occasion)

Alexis
•
Follow
Are you the star of your own show or playing a supporting role? The first time I heard of this concept, it turned me off. Right away, I thought of Mean Girls, with the star being a selfish bitch and the supporting role being the person we should aim to be. 🤣 The second time I heard it, though, it made more sense. Being the star of the show isn’t about being the center of attention at the expense of others, but being the center of your own attention and care so you can live to your full potential. Main characters take fantastic care of themselves and, as a result, are fantastic to be around. They encourage others to take care of themselves and lead any example. Main characters go after what they want. That lets others see that it's possible (and the world isn’t going to fall apart) if they go after what they want, too. Main characters don’t deny themselves joy or feel guilty for feeling it. I know I’ve played a supporting role in my life before. If you know my loud, leopard-print-wearing ass personally, you might disagree, haha, but I wasn’t always bringing the main character energy to life. The good lotion and fancy candles were only for special occasions. I didn’t wear things I loved because I didn’t feel thin enough to be “allowed” to wear them. But last night I went on a hot date with my man and wore a dress I love that fits my current body. I ate what I wanted and didn’t feel bad about it. I had fun, laughed, and flirted with Eric and it was a perfect night. I was full-on leading lady. I wish main character me could go back and tell the past, supporting role me she is allowed to enjoy her life fully and go after what she wants. Not when she’s earned it. Not when she’s good enough. Not when she’s smart enough. Because she deserves it. We all do. It’s never too late to be the main character, friend. What’s one area of your life you’re feeling like you’re showing up in the supporting role? What would happen if you just showed up as the main character? What could be possible for you? Sending you hugs, standing ovations, and permission to wear the expensive perfume you’ve been saving for a special occasion…(today is a special occasion) Alexis
1 year ago
View on Instagram |
6/6
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