Why Checking the “Right” Boxes Doesn’t Lead to Happiness
If you feel like you’ve made all the “right” moves in life, but you aren’t as happy as you thought you’d be, you’ve probably realized that sometimes checking the “right” boxes doesn’t lead to happiness.
I work with professional, goal-getter women. I’m one myself. And I think what we all want out of life is more purpose, peace and pleasure.
We’re taught from a young age that if we work hard and achieve our goals, we’ll be happy. And as high achievers, we know how to achieve our goals. We know how to get things done, am I right?
But let me ask you a question.
Is everyone who achieves their goals and checks off all the right boxes happy? No!
Because we’re doing things backwards.
We assume if we achieve our goals – get the job, buy the dream house, maybe get married or find love, maybe start a family, start a business – we’ll have an amazing, fulfilling, happy life.
But without a VISION for the life we want to create, how do we know if the goals we work toward are going to make us feel the way we want to feel?
Here’s an example.
Most people that go to school, pick the “right” career, climb the ladder and get the perfect job do it because they think it will make them happy.
They think when they finally get there – when they achieve all these goals – they’ll be happy – because they’ll finally be able to travel, get the house, save more, spend more.
But what if the job or career that got them everything they thought they wanted makes them deeply unhappy?
They might have the things they thought would make them happy, but instead they’re tired, cranky, stressed out. Their health might be a mess. Their relationships might be a mess.
I mean, why do we work toward any goals in the first place?
Because we’re think when we achieve them, we’ll FEEL different than we do now.
Happy or fulfilled or excited or loved. Right? But oftentimes that’s not the case.
We get the house and the mortgage payment feels heavy. We have the perfect wedding and realize we’re married to the wrong person. The dream job feels more like a nightmare.
The problem is that when we’re focused on our goals without a bigger picture VISION for the life we want to create FIRST, those goals won’t always give us the desired feeling that we want.
Because they’re not always the right goals.
If we focused on our vision first – the VISION for the life we want to create and how we want to FEEL – we pick better, more aligned goals.
How do you want your life to be different in the new year?
If you get crystal clear on your vision before you even think about New Year’s resolutions, you’ll be setting yourself up to choose better goals.
I’m Alexis Buhrman and I help women stop focusing on the wrong goals and start focusing on their VISION to create lives with more purpose, peace and pleasure!
For more tips to help YOU create a life you love, you can follow me on Instagram and Facebook @alexisbcoaching.
I’d love to hear from you. Do you feel like you’ve been checking the “right” boxes, but not feeling the way you hoped you’d feel? What’s one thing you can do, or one shift you can make, to start checking the “right” ones? Let me know in the comments.
Wishing you the best of luck!
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